Working hard!

Bluey_moon · ‎11-01-2016

Hi BB community,

So you guys know me, GAD and obsessive thinking oh and health anxiety! (At this point in time I worry about scizophrenia).

I am working so hard to be better. Taking my SSRI all the time, seeing my psychologist (although she's been away for four weeks). Keeping in touch with the psychiatrists at the hospital! Talking on here.

I still struggle with a few things. The health obsession, every day I am hyper aware, is this a sign blah blah blah?

I struggle with thoughts triggered by news ect! So with all the media on family violence lately, I'll think, can I trust my family with my kids? I know I can to be clear, but struggle with the thought I could have those thoughts!

And sometimes I just feel anxious or down!

I know I have insight and I'm getting there, but it feels like a long road some days!

The worst is I have every reason to get better! A gorgeous family ect!

Im working hard though!

Skye

Kazzl · ‎11-01-2016

Hiya Skye - yes you are working hard! And, seems to me, you're not only helping yourself but others too, especially by your contributions here.

It's a long road we travel, and sometimes we detour off the wellness route, but you're on it now and that is so good to see. It inspires us all.

Keep working mate, it will pay off. And while we work at getting better we keep learning, and that's got to be a good thing.

Cheering you on from the sidelines,

Kaz

PatT · ‎11-01-2016

Hi Skye,

It sounds like you're doing a lot of good for yourself, your kids and the BB community but it also sounds like you have issues with trusting yourself. From having read some of your posts in the past I imagine that you're quite self-critical and have trouble with believing that your own thoughts are the right ones. This is incredibly common amongst people with depression, anxiety etc. because we're always obsessed with coming up with ways to re-model ourselves to lessen the severity of our symptoms.

In effect we're constantly seeking out the advice of other people to tell us how to live better which makes it harder to trust ourselves when we start doing the right thing. From what I've heard from you, you're doing a great job and you should be proud of your progress. Try and trust yourself a little more and keep working hard.

All the best,

Pat.

Chicken_Wings · ‎12-01-2016

I'm so proud of your hard work Skye. You are trying so hard and doing good things.

If you feel scared or anxious, come back and read your own post here because you sound determined, you sound strong, you sound like a person who can do this.

It is a long road, but look how far you've travelled already! Think of the great things you've done so far, the progress you've made. You have the tools in place and you are using them.

There might be times when you feel down or sad, but those are the times to reflect on this progress.

Mummybee · ‎12-01-2016

Hi Skye,

So nice to "read from" you in a better place.

I agree with the thoughts about family lately. I have two young children too and its difficult to not think those things sometimes, I mean, im sure the mum of those boys you referred to thought they were safe too. That's just the way our mind works. We are protective mums who cant help but think the worst.

We are ok, though.

Mummybee

Bluey_moon · ‎13-01-2016

Hi all,

thank you all for the positive feedback, it means a lot!

Last night (well 4am this morning) I had a lapse. I heard a noise while I was up with my son, (it was prob my daughter sighing in her sleep). Well then it was on, what if I thought it was a voice, what if, what if! I knew I was being ridiculous!!I was doing so well! But I'm strong this morning!