Work Stress/ Anxiety

[Ms_P]

I have had IBS for years which work knows about so sometimes I am late to work or have to take extra sick days.  I have also recently been diagnosed with fibromyalgia (which includes ibs) and also a unknown cysts that could be magliant. My mental health and memory has declined recently and work has noticed it.  I have changed my duties and hours to see if it helps.  I was supposed to have a procedure a few weeks ago to find out what the cysts are however the hospital cancelled and has rescheduled it in a month.  Work has asked me to reschedule it due to staffing issues. This is seriously stressing me out.  Can they ask me to reschedule? If I do I would be put at the end of a pretty long list and I need to know what is happening. I am constantly in pain and stress makes it worse and I am not performing at 100% which I normally do. I don't know what to do

[CountingCrows1]

I can sense how overwhelmed you are in your message. I am sorry that this is a tough time for you. 

With the appointment, it is common for workplaces to be inflexible, even though it is not ethical. I would swear a lot here but we are not allowed hahaha. I recommend having a quick 2 minute chat with your boss, keep it casual, doesn't need to be a meeting, just grab them at their desk when they seem chill. Put all of the emotions to the side and stay in control, take some deep breaths and just be super nice and professional and say something like "hey, you know how I asked for the day to be swapped for my specialist appointment to XYZ date? I am super sorry because I know that its a busy period at that time, but the appointment is quite important and I really just need to attend it. I have to have that day off, I hope it is not going to inconvenience you guys" wait for the reply then maybe add "I am happy to stay back an extra hour on the other days to get through the workload if it helps?" and then be super nice when they allow you to have the day off, act like they did you a huge favour and that will smooth over the relationship. 

I know it is kissing their *** a little, but it can get good results to be really friendly and apologetic and pretty much explain briefly that you have to have the day off (not ASK for the day off). Keep your cool and then be thankful. They will let you have the day off for a medical appointment, if you frame it in the way that it is important and you have to go. No need to tell them any details. In fact it is often better to keep that separation and not disclose anything. If they ask, you can say that it's not something you wish to discuss, but you are ok and thank you so much for asking. But of course, if you have a good relationship with them, sometimes its ok to disclose and talk about it. Just be sure to stick with what you are comfortable with. If you don't feel comfortable having to explain yourself, then you don't need to at all. 

About not performing 100%, try not to beat yourself up right now. They must have seen your work when you were feeling better, so they already know you are a good employee. They tend not to notice to the degree that we notice when we are dropping the ball. It firstly takes longer for them to even realise that a good employee is not working as well as they previously did; but then the most that they usually think is "hmm.. they are not doing as well lately, I will keep an eye on them" and they then get distracted for a few months doing other things. It takes a lot for them to give warnings or want to kick you out. They prefer not to have to go through the hiring and training process. So you have a buffer of time where they are probably not seeing as much as you think they are. Also, maybe you are still doing average work and that might even be fine with them. Some high achievers seem like an asset to the company and then when they get burnt out, their efficiency goes down to normal level. The employer may notice, but not really care, because that employee is actually still doing well and similar level to the others. 

But from what you have written I am tempted to say not to worry what they think too much right now. You are having a tough time. Do what you need to do to de-stress and recover.