Work, panic and repeat..

ED17 · ‎11-07-2017

I finished uni at the end of last year and went straight into my current full time job (I started interning there while at studying, then worked part time while studying, and have been there almost three years now), but had to quit last week because I just couldn't cope anymore.

Since going full time this year I can't stop making so many mistakes and forget really important things almost every day - this is not an exaggeration. This has resulted in me missing deadlines with clients and forgetting to hand in important forms for my company. Im not a stupid person and have always excelled in work and school (but have always been very forgetful about minor things like where I have put wallet down etc) but now I can't even seem to function with basic tasks!

I feel panicked all the time and this makes me freeze up and take longer on tasks then I should, so I end up working late into the night or getting up really early in the morning to try and finish my work in time. This is not helped by the fact I work from home so have no separation between work and home life (sometimes I don't leave the house for a week because I don't have any reason to, and literally all i do is work, panic and sleep)

Everyone else I work with keeps up with their (much larger) workloads and I am always the one letting down the team, its just so upsetting because this is not the person I am. I have always been reliable and take work very seriously.

So, like I said I quit my job because I couldn't handle the stress any more. My mum, who has had depression almost her whole life and has been worried by the change in my personality finally convinced me to go to the doctor who put me on a starter dose of an SSRI, so I am hoping this helps me get back to being myself because I hate this so much.

I honestly feel like my next mistake is just seconds away and I always have this overwhelming feeling that well.. basically the world is going to end. My boss has said she will give me a good reference and help me get another job, but I am working until the end of this month (we are required to give 4 weeks notice) and I just feel like I'm going to stuff up big time before my time is up and I wont have a reference anymore... and then wont be able to find another job because they are my most important one.

I'd love to hear from anyone else who has gone through similar, or has some techniques to deal with this fear... I cant wait for this job to end but am also so scared of what to do next..

BballJ · ‎11-07-2017

Hi ED17,

Firstly, welcome to the forums.

I can't say I have been through this exact situation but I have dealt with anxiety for many years and it affects people in so many different ways. I have read many threads on here about people who have had to quit their jobs as it all became too much so I do hope they find this thread and can comment with their support too.

It's great you are seeing a GP, have they referred you to see a psychologist at all? Maybe that may be an avenue to look at. Have you felt like you have suffered from anxiety prior to all this happening?

The panic feelings that you experiencing I have felt so many times and they magnify everything and make things seem way worse than what they are.. hold onto the fact your boss is going to give you a reference and help you out finding a new job, that is great and something positive to hold onto.

May I ask, when you get these feelings, what is your coping mechanism to deal with it currently, if you have any at all? Mine would be to try and calm myself down, distraction is key for me and my anxiety, I try to do things like listen to music or anything really to calm my mind. When we are panicking and feel this fear inside of us, our mind makes us think the worst of everything. Remember you have seeked help in the way of the GP and found these forums too so you are on the road to recovery. You can overcome this.

Please also know you can call the Beyond Blue helpline on 1300 22 4636 24/7 to discuss anything you are going through.

My best for you,

Jay

cakeboss · ‎13-07-2017

Hi there it is helpful reading that im not the only one who gets into these major panick anxiety attacks.I work partime and seem to get my work done okay.But because of a major finacial stress that im going through my anxiety has taken over.Im under gp and counciler regularly.I unfortuately have to go through this life stress at mooment.Ive had several visits to the gp in which ive given myself a major anxiety panic attack,I had full bloods done only vitamin d low which i was given a script for.I myself get into these panic eposides as well and yes you do feel like your out of touch with reality.They are horrible panic attacks you think way ahead of yourself it does that and makes you think things that havent happened could .I try music to its my saviour .I had a panic attack last week that bad went to drs he calmed me down.Im on medication it was put up but after 2 weeks we couldnt go up made me to sick .So yea dr told me to try get my heart rate up when anxiety is worse and walk i did and it does help clear your mind.I have days at work dont know how i even got myself there only cause the stress im going through .but it is a distraction and better than sitting at home overthinking which i do.Love to hear how anyone else copes with anxiety attacks how to settle down