Work meeting anxiety

[cceee]

Hi all! First time posting here 🙂 I struggle with anxiety and panic attacks related to work zoom meetings and having to talk. When I have an agenda item I’m reasonably ok because I have time to practice beforehand (and I’ll give myself time to do a quick meditation before the meeting !), but today I was asked to provide an update on something unexpectedly and I fumbled over an update, forgetting to breathe due to my anxiety and barely managed to get the last few words out as I was running out of breath. I worry that people noticed and I feel embarrassed now and it causes me to ruminate, and of course, it means I’m already fearing the next time it happens. I’m not sure what to do or how to cope with this feeling of impending doom when someone mentions my name during a meeting and asks me for information.
I’m totally fine when it’s a 1:1 meeting, but I hate speaking in front of large groups, even when it’s just on zoom (we are told to have our cameras on the whole time which adds to my anxiety). Has anyone been through this before and has any tips ?

[jaz28]

Hi there,

I am sorry you have been experiencing anxiety about work meetings. Something I have learnt with my anxiety is to try and brush myself off and move on after making a mistake like that - and most of the time the people around you probably didn't even notice.

Have you seen a psychologist about your anxiety?

Jaz xx

[TwoCups]

Hi cceee,

You're not alone in your feelings
Here are some things that have helped me that you may find helpful too.

Own my emotions.

I have accepted that I get anxious and nervous in social situations, and this doesn't make me or my input of any less value. Should I find myself being overwhelmed now I make reference to it, and share my emotions and vulnerability with the group. That not to say I overshare, but something simple like “Wow, sorry all, I'm a little nervous today”. My anxiety has become more manageable in these situations as a result.

Have a strategy for handling situations should they reoccur.

This can be a general response like “Sorry, I didn't realise you were going to call on me regarding x, but I am happy to put together that information and email it to everyone in the attendance post interview”

Focus on one person in the group conversation.

When talking to a group now I generally focus on one person and treat the conversation as a 1:1 leaving the others in attendance as spectators. That's not to say you cant feed off their emotional ques or open up the conversation to them if required.

Hope this helps,

TwoCups

[Katyonthehamsterwheel]

Hi there,

Can totally relate! TwoCups has suggested great tips. Another that I read and found useful is to try and speak up early on in a meeting. Even if it’s to say something superfluous like “hey, Peter, love the shirt”. Once you’ve already participated it’s easier to do so again is the theory. There are other tips online too if you google “introverts, work meetings”.

Also, its 2022 and we should be better at accommodating people’s varying needs, I reckon. Sometimes in meetings I’ve written in the chat box “anxious today so leaving the cam/mike off”. People have been ok.

Katy 🙂

[cceee]

Thanks Jaz! I tried to brush it off but my mind kind of latches onto things and obsesses about them. I think it’s my social anxiety and fear of how others perceive me.

I do see a psychologist but haven’t been for quite a few months.
thanks for your response!

[cceee]

Thanks two cups. These are really great tips. I’m taking a screen shot so I can think about them some more and put them into practice! Thanks for your help 🙂

[cceee]

Thanks Katy! I will be googling introverts and work meetings.
(honestly if I could do my job and not participate in meetings, I’d be happy as larry!)

[Banksy92]

Can really relate to this, as it's something I struggle with too. If I prep beforehand I can usually get through okay (although sometimes even if I sound okay you can see my neck and face going red) but often if I'm put on the spot my mind just totally blanks and I get a shaky, nervous voice, which makes me feel embarrassed.

I definitely agree that speaking to a psych would be the best course to overall help with your anxiety levels and build coping strategies. This has helped me a bit.

In the immediate, a few small steps can also curb things - before each meeting taking 5-10 minutes to prep and write a few notes on things going on so that when people ask you for an update you've got the key details in front of you to lean on. Your meditation beforehand is also a good one, where possible keep up mindful breathing and try your best to focus on being present and engaging to take your mind of the possibility of speaking.

Hope this helps