Work causing Anxiety

[SG1993]

Hi, my first post here and looking to seek some assistance.

I am quite concerned with the possibility of developing some kind of Anxiety and/or Depression disorder due to my job and based on how it has been affecting my well-being and quality of life.

I've been employed in a Government job the last two years. Starting this job I was quite happy and keen seeing that it has been my dream job, however this all soon changed.
A few months into my job, I went through some issues with a now ex-spouse which was quite distressing for me involving legal action etc.
I sought help and advice from my workplace to be moved closer to home in a bid to deal with these issues, with my workplace not allowing me to move closer to home and being un-supportive..

To cut a long story short, in this time in my work place I have been bullied and have been branded a "trouble maker" by senior colleagues for speaking up about certain issues, which had at the time resulted in me becoming quite nervous and even anxious before going to work.
Before work I would get heart flutters, some mild feelings of sickness in my stomach and just emotional detachment to loved ones at times when I would know that I would be going back to work. I still experience these to this day - however prior to this I have been fine with nil symptoms, and am normally a happy and out-going person.

Outside of work I do enjoy life and I feel I have zero anxiety or depression symptoms. Outside of work I am able to enjoy time with my spouse, family and friends and keep quite active, however whenever it comes to my current job I seem to just "break down" and feel anxious before and during shifts, missing my spouse and also thinking about other occupations.

I'm looking for advice on what to do here, as whenever I am going back to work or at work I seem to have a roller coaster of emotions and feelings which I find extremely draining and even negatively impacting my work performance.
My biggest concern is developing a disorder of some sort, as these ups and downs are quite large for me.

I've been using sick leave at times because sometimes I just cannot front up to work, where-as in the past and in previous occupations I would never do this due to job satisfaction.
I dream about work nearly every night, and taking holiday's for weeks to even a month hasn't seemed to alleviate the problem going back to work.
Any advice would be appreciated, thanks.

[White_Rose]

Hello SG1993

Welcome to the forum. You sound quite anxious about what's happening in your life. As you work in a state or federal agency you will have access to the Employees Assistance Program. This allows you a number of visits to this service where you can talk to a professional mental health person. The number of times you can use this service varies from agency to agency. Your HR people will be able to tell you how to give you all the information.

I take it you enjoyed the job when you first started but have become uncomfortable due to the behaviour of other staff. It is not always possible to move staff around to accommodate someone. Do you work in a small local agency with more staff in the city? Managers are sometimes unsupportive, usually because they do not know what to do. Using your EAP may help you identify any problems. You can also talk to someone in HR about getting the bullying stopped. All agencies have a complaints system. It depends on how far you want to take this.

Do you have children? This can be a problem when a couple separate. As you say, you can take sick leave, not just one or two days but for several weeks. It does depend on how much leave you have and of course you will need a medical certificate from your doctor. If you are going to do this then use the free sessions with your EAP and start talking to your doctor. Look around for another job.

If your managers are not supportive it does not matter how much you enjoy your work. You will always worry about the job.

Looking for another job is an option. Some workplaces are simply toxic and cause many employees to leave or change jobs. Again this is an option. If you are a union member you can take this problem to them for a solution and if you feel you have sufficient evidence you can make a claim on WorkCover for stress related difficulties. Your superannuation fund also has a sickness benefit insurance. Contact them to see what it is.

These are all possibilities. Making a complaint is stressful, make no mistake about that so think carefully and talk with your GP about your emotional strength. I hope these comments help. Please write in again, especially if I have not got the correct picture.

Mary

[SG1993]

Thanks for the reply Mary, I appreciate it!

I've gone through EAP about 4-5 times with my employment, especially when these issues occurred at the time in early and late 2016. Their advice was to form coping mechanisms and surround myself with friends/family in those tough times, which I have - however even though things have been relatively smooth at work the last few months, the anxiety/depression/withdrawal at work is still quite profound.
Since those events had occurred, I have entered a strong and serious relationship with a new spouse which has been great. Surrounding myself with her and family/friends seems to have only made me more anxious about my job, going to work feeling upset, withdrawn and just anxious since I cannot shake this negativity and feelings of anxiety.

I have no children, however the previous relationship had involved court restraining orders, criminal charges etc.

My biggest issue is that this occurred in early 2016, and most of the work-related events have occurred between mid 2016 to March this year. Speaking with HR blew up in my face with those involved worsening their behaviour, resulting in me changing teams at my branch - stopping their behaviour however my anxiousness has not.

My main concern is that before almost every shift I could be trying to sleep for shift work with my heart-rate through the roof in bed, experiencing headaches, feelings of physical weakness, feeling physically unwell and just wanting to withdraw myself from everyone where I work, even a day away from my shift - yet I can return home for days off and feel almost fine since I am away from my job and that environment.

As you said, I think it may be time to speak to my Doctor about this properly as I have taken the odd day off here and there purely because of this anxiousness and stress/depression caused by my job - even when there are days when nothing bad has happened at work.

What I find interesting is these things happen to me even on days when everything is going okay at work, being a constant roller coaster of the day before going back to work I cannot enjoy anything and the entire duration of days while I am away at work.

While I am moved on from the things that have affected me with the previous relationship and work (mostly) the anxious side effects and depression just prior to going back and being there repeatedly pop up.

[White_Rose]

Hello SG1993

Unfortunately anxiety and depression do not simply disappear when the cause of these emotions disappear. I imagine you will have a lingering fear of the events happening again. Plus every time you see/hear/smell something that reminds you again, the feelings start up again.

I am pleased you are going to talk to your GP. It's sad your HR team are protecting you more. I know it's always difficult if it is someone higher up the corporate ladder carrying out the behaviour. However, I think the HR manager should step in at this stage. It's now academic as you have changed teams but the feelings remain. This is one of the things you need to talk to your GP about.

You can of course make a formal complaint about this bullying but I'm not sure how well enough you are to take this on. It can get ugly. Talk to your GP and what he/she suggests.

Mary