work and social anxiety

[Wen1976]

Hi ... for the past few years I've been living the anxiety/depression roller coaster and I'm so tired of this ride. It all started from experiences of emotional/physical trauma as a child and then experiencing emotional/physical trauma again as an adult and not being able to talk about it.

I feel like I cannot cope with the everyday life experiences in my professional, social and personal life. I'm either coping personally at home, socially or at work. Trying to cope with all of these is just too much to deal with. i constantly feel like I'm failing or disappointing the people i care about and work with. I feel guilty about wanting seek help for the way I feel. I wish it could be fixed with a pill but its just not going away. I'm going to counseling about this but sometimes it feels like I'm never going to be me again. How does other people manage?

Just want to be how i used to be.... a strong, dependable me.

Wen

[romantic_thi3f]

Hey Wen,

Thanks for your post.

I feel like I can relate a lot to what you’re going through. I was working and then all my trauma decided to ‘pop up’ - which lead to me too not being able to cope with anything and feeling too overwhelmed with life in general.

I think the biggest thing that I can share with you is that there’s no shame in going to therapy.

You mentioned how you want to go back to a strong dependable you - but I already see so much strength right now in reaching out and saying that you’re damn tired of this ride. It’s not easy to be constantly pulling yourself together and trying to cope.
Going to therapy is not easy at times but I do think it’s worth it.

I know for me personally, looking back I felt like I was suddenly weaker because I couldn’t cope - but now I know that I was kind of growing in a weird way. I’m so much stronger now then I ever was before - but I could never see that coming. I imagine that it will be the same for you.

[Wen1976]

Thank you for your reply, after this post i finally had the courage to tell my husband I'm not coping as well as he thought .. i had to write it in a letter to him though, i just couldn't get the words out any other way. I'm pretty sure he read it last night, although we haven't spoken about it yet. Maybe later today we will.

[romantic_thi3f]

Hi Wen,

Thanks for your post - sorry I'm just seeing it today!

I'm so glad that you wrote to your husband about it and I completely get writing it in a letter - it's much easier to say what you need to say! As it's been a couple of days I'd love to check in and see how he responded or what's happened since?

Feel free to post back if you like.

[Alexlisa]

Hello Wen,

It's great that you reached out here. I can really hear the pain that you're in and that sense that you've lost yourself as you used to be. I can relate a lot to this feeling and also that sense that you can only cope with parts of your life at the same time. This is me 100%, but something I'm trying to work on.

You mention that you want to be the 'strong you', but reaching out for help by seeing a therapist is an enormously strong thing to do. Sometimes our strength comes out in different ways than we're used to. And that's ok.

I hope that the letter that you wrote for your husband was received well and has helped you to feel more supported. It can be a confusing ride at times and having someone to help guide us can be a great help.

Take care,

Alexlisa x