work and anxiety - change career

[thomas1029609]

Hi
posting back as it's been a while lots of changes in life

work and anxiety now working part time as full time got too much
my current job just makes me feel I don't want to go back, this is my third week calling in sick, I've tried noting down reasons, fears and feelings I'm unable to put it to reason as to why just a lot of negativity and hate for the job. my GP has been very understanding and my psychologist appointment is next week though three weeks ago could not get any earlier just feels a lot of waiting and unable to process my thoughts.
I've come to the conclusion that this job is not right for me through counseling with my psychologist - factors including the office / city location travel / call centre / IT job / 100% constant customer service and very fast paced and KPI's work environment i just need a change. part of it is just me (round peg square hole or round hole square peg) my partner feels I have some autistic traits due to some things I say and do and the way I think and my actions to situations, (currently looking into getting assessed) and feel this impacts how I interact with people and deal with situations and causes of some of the issues I'm facing. some of it I may be able to change just not sure how though other parts it's just me and also my upbringing.
The IT industry now leaves a bad taste after also issues with my previous IT job, I'm feeling I need to change to something else. To add to that a sudden change in health early this year has limited me physically to what I can do. As a desperate "I need to change things" I have booked in to get a license and white card with the hopes I can get some temp work with an agency with no experience (one agency I called I was told is possible) and totally different industry. I feel a bit uneasy making a major change and if it will help or lead me back to wanting to running away and hide
my question is have other people found a career change a positive to reducing / eliminating anxiety and if other steps are needed as to not get stuck going back down the same path.

Thanks for reading my long rant / post

[smallwolf]

thomas1029609,

Hi. Welcome to beyond blue.

I also work in the IT industry. I can empathize with you about your job. My own job "put" (depends on how you want to look at it) me into my current state, and I am now on medical leave, and transitioning back into work, but I am also looking out for an alternative career.

To answer your last question(s) in a round about way...

(1) I consider my health more important than job. This is an individual choice. But if I was do depressed that I did something really stupid...

(2) Moving towards your goals rather than away from them. For myself, my computing job moves me away from my values, and a position I have applied for elsewhere (and outside of IT) should move me closer towards my goals.

My psych uses CBT and mindfulness techniques to help with managing anxiety. You should be able to find threads on this forum about these topics. I can otherwise post some of the methods my psych uses for me to manage anxiety, if you like. Let me know.

Tim

[thomas1029609]

Hi, thanks for the reply

I put my health over my job and thats where i feel where i am currently as is not improving or working for me so time for change. I dont really know where i am with goals just as long its something that im happy doing and can manage my depression and anxiety better

i feel because i doubt myself and when i tried CBT but would get stuck and just end up in a negative spiral not able to work out my thoughts, with mindfulness i found hard to stick with it. I think i need to try it again, thats a common issue i have is committing and continuing even when i dont see results straight away

Thanks

[smallwolf]

Hey. Welcome back.

Both CBT and mindfulness are not quick (instant) fixes. It takes practice. When my psych and I looked at my cognitive disorders, I ticked the boxes on all of them. Yay! (sarcasm) Despite (say) my education, to fill out a form on how to see things differently was really difficult at first. Recently I had to start maintain a pleasure/accomplishment/gratitude list, and show her the next time I saw her. Still doing it. At first it was incredibly difficult to put anything into the gratitude list. I would have use google to find ideas. One thing that I did read, that for people like myself, who perceive themselves negatively, that starting to create a gratitude list is hard when you start. But the more you do it, the easier it gets. Even last Sunday (about 3/4 days ago) I was really struggling to find any positives or anything else to put into the list. And I forced myself to find something. I told the psych this also. Something that should be thankful for, or a pleasure also had some negative thought, and I let the negative thought(s) win. Not sure how far into the future I will be maintaining these lists for her, but I see it as a continual work in progress. Slowly removing all the crap and negative thoughts, hopefully replacing with new and positive messages and a new me.

Lastly, a book titled the happiness trap had a number of ideas to silence the inner critic. The book was written by a psychiatrist (I think). Anyway, he said that if one technique does not work for you, try another. I would add keep trying til you find one that works.

The important thing is not to give in, or give up. If something is difficult or does not work, tell the psychologist. They will or should help you. Mine did. I should point out that I am also extremely honest when it comes to talking to my psych as well. Again, that's me.

Keep trying. You will find some techniques that should work for you. And when you find it, stick with it.

With comfort and strength,

Tim

[thomas1029609]

Hi
Well last week I saw my psychiatrist and my partner came along too and was able to better explain how iv been. due to work being an ongoing issue and getting worse I was told that I should consider possibly quit (as I have now done) and gave me a medical certificate to take to centerlink so I can receive newstart and not need to look for work for 3 months. I'm in the process of applying however iv been contacted to do an induction for casual traffic control work with the new license I got and having to get all the safety gear before I do the induction. does get me anxious if I'm able to do it and will this change help me or will I end up in the same place. my question is will casual work affect me getting newstart on a medical certificate or as my partner feels I should wait a month or two and try heal / get better first
Thanks