Why I'm feeling anxiety nowadays

[Albert_247]

I am 28 now and I'm still without direction for what jobs I want to do, I'm only thinking of trying retail and I'm not overly keen because so many people say it's a bad pathway, while with academics I'm not a study person but my only educational interest is nutrition related, but it's not to say I'm one hundred percent to even want to try it even if ever, but at the same time being a dietician is more interesting then anything else from University, I just wouldn't see myself being the person to achieve it or do it as a job, so it's sort of silly to mention or make it seem like it's a considerable possibility because I mostly rule it out with me 

I feel so challenged because I don't have much cooking skills and I also have to one day live after my mothers gone and manage my diabetes and I don't want a life of eating quick and easy un healthy foods for many reasons, my doctor says I might be able to get un diagnosed with my diabetes because it's in such good remission so that's one break through I'm hoping I can relieve with my challenges   

I don't know how to find accommodations if I needed to know if ever, and I wouldn't want a future of        rent quality in comparison to a mortgage, I definitely don't want to live with strangers, only family or a marriage type of situation would be what I'm wanting, I wouldn't know how to pay bills online, I was told paying bills at the post office is becoming a thing of the past unfortunately

I always had my mother doing laundry and I've helped her on occasion but don't feel like I am at a level to just know what I'm doing alone with all the fabrics and colours and how to operate the washing machine and how much softener and detergent to use, but maybe Google can tell me this? maybe it's not that complex, I have a basic sense but still

I wouldn't know how to deal with the bank people on the phone and figure out how to resolve anything like with cards or financials or even what to say either

I don't have the highest self esteem with people that I find to be rude or bully, I worry I can't handle life's adversity and conflicts or that If I don't have my twin brother if I'll know how to resolve any issues on my own 

I also worry I will never make friends finding anyone I like but I also see a lot of friends superficial to come and go, So I'm more family minded, Worry I'd never have a girl that's attractive and with the right personality or someone that would be a long term suitable, also general insecurity with intimacy

[white knight]

Hi, welcome.

Please dont blame yourself about your lack of knowledge and restrictions. Some of us have, from a young age, ventured out into the world early on in life and without the self esteem sisues, learned quickly many things. Eg  I joined the Air Force at 17yo, imagine what I learned in the 1st 3 months or recruit training- sewing, ironing, washing clothes (yes learned quickly how colours ruined items so whites separate), polishing, paying bills etc.

There is still many people especially older people that pay bills with cash. So as long as you have a bank account you can arrive at your bank and withdraw cash. Council rates dog registrations etc can be paid at the council chambers, most bills at the post office and best to wait until they remove those services because worrying about the services being withdrawn may not ever happen, also usually another service like the news agency will take over those services.  

In terms of where to live, rent of own depends on your financial capacity to do either. If you can buy then buy. Renting has to normally go through a real estate agent.

Healthy eating isnt hard because you can buy a packet of pasta and read the instructions on the back for different recipes or buy a basic cook book. Your spelling and grammar are excellent so you would find reading those instructions easy. Buy fruit and also canned fruit in case you run out. Some frozen vegetables are ideal like corn and peas as you only have to insert them in hot water, wait for 3 minutes and drain. You might one day consider growing your own vegetables?

As for not knowing your chosen field of interest with employment you are not alone there. Many people go through life not knowing what job they want to do. There is nothing wrong with becoming a dietician then after a few years changing professions to something else. But you need to, at your age, make a choice soon as the years will tick over. 

It look like your low self esteem is the major issue here. Perhaps while your mother is with us you can question her about how she does all these things. Yes google is your friend and research. Well done in taking the first step and write things down so you will remmeber.

TonyWK

[mmMekitty]

Hello Albert

As you learn new skills, your self-esteem will improve.

Google or whichever browser you use to open BB forums, is indeed your friend. You can ask any question, & Google won't judge your question, just offers answers.

Such as, you can ask it 'How do I cook frozen vegetables?' & you will see how, maybe even there will be Youtube videos you can watch.

Packaged foods do have instructions on the pack.

You can also find on Google, basic recipes to begin with. Maybe you don't know how to make scrambled eggs - ask Google, 'How do I make 1 serving scrambled eggs?'

Same for your washing. Whatever washing powder or liquid you use, it will have instructions. I don't think fabric softener is really necessary, but that, too will have instructions.

If your machine is new, that came with instructions. Work through those instructions carefully.

If it is an old machine & you don't have the instructions, take a look at it & find the brand (like, Hoover, Simpson, or some other - right there on the front somewhere. & if you can find the model number, you can ask Google for instructions or users' manual for the machine you have. 

I like TonyWK's idea to ask your mum to show you how to do most of the things you mention.  You can explain, now you are an adult, you want to do these for yourself.

If you have a local branch, I'm sure they would be happy to help you learn how to use their website. I found it daunting to use online banking. I still have only learned what I need to do. On each page I go to, there is a 'help' button, which will tell me about what I can do on the page I am looking at. If that fails to help me, I phone the bank.

If your bank doesn't have a branch near you, & you need cash, you can get cash from places like supermarkets. If you go to the service desk, they can help you learn how.

Direct debit is another way to pay regular bills, like power bill, phone & internet bills,& more. The businesses you deal with can help you set that up.

I don't know what to tell you about finding your own place to live. It's very difficult now, & not likely to get easier anytime soon.

I think becoming a dietician is a great idea. You have the experience of having diabetes, which is so common, many people you could help will have diabetes. The course itself will teach you so much about nutrition & healthy eating. Even if you don't choose to work as a dietician, what you learn doing the study will be so useful to you.

Hugzies

mmMekitty

[Albert_247]

Thanks for your response White Knight, it's making my challenges feel less over whelming, I am just going to keep myself together and make the gradual check list and learn them slowly, the way I got my driving and now I can tick that off as accomplished. And yes I think I am not doing the Dieitican anymore because they want to make it a masters qualified field rather then a regular bachelor and I don't want 7 years of study for a salary that isn't more then regular anyway. Yes have a pretty good idea with healthy eating, I've made notes and seen dieticians in the past and I have a very happy results with my remission diabetes

It's hard for me because my father keeps to himself behind the T.V. and he makes it that my problems are just my problems so don't bother me, His not a affectionate, understanding, involved father his very self centred, Makes you feel challenged or handi capped and thinks I have to explain to him or validate that I want to eventually work, He thinks I have to prove myself, I only have the love and meaning and support from my Mother, it always felt like I only had 1 awesome parent, I don't think my Dad being a bread winner can compensate for being a vain grandiose person  

Appreciate your time and for making things seem more optimistic thanks mate!

[Albert_247]

I mean I am saying that my father keeps to himself with T.V. and there's no daily conflicts or problems, but          his more grandiose on a psychological, emotional, and optimistic level, always feel like your swallowing your problems, You can talk superficial about the footy but his not a conversational personality, I feel maybe he wants the best for us but his not the consideration like my mother 

[Albert_247]

Thanks so much for your message mmMekitty I really appreciate the time you guys frequently give to the Beyond Blue, As far as the dietician I generally have the like and interest with the job description but I just typically don't have a disciplined study mentality, it's a lot of studies to make a entry salary it's not like a amazing University salary with being a dietician, and their eventually going to implement a masters requirement so I wouldn't want to study for 7 years to make $50,000, But maybe I'd like the idea of the TAFE Certificate IV with Nutrition. Yes my Mum will show me how to do a lot of things, She's all I have that cares to help me out, Thanks again mmMekitty appreciate your response and everything.

[mypositiveside]

Your mother's willingness to help and support you is a valuable resource, and learning from her can be a meaningful and enriching experience. Remember that there are various paths to success, and it's essential to make choices that suit your needs and aspirations. Best of luck with your endeavors!

[Albert_247]

I'm worried about my financial future now being 28. I haven't had a payed job before, but I've had only 6 or 9 months of volunteer that I hated, can't remember exactly how long. I have saving's from Centrelink, though I don't have any interest in conventional University studies. I would only preference nutrition but I don't have that self motivation to do it, and I absolutely don't want to do labour apprenticeship's. Getting a regular job is almost impossible without net work, experience, education. I always had a interest in rather creative music dreams, but I have numerous passionate hobby's and I would never commit so much to it. I'm also a highly sensitive person because I got bullied during high school and it lasted until 24 because I made the mistakes to be friend two of the bullies when I was insecure and wanting friends and when I wanted to give them a second chance, because I was stupid. Get a fear that other people are going to be like them. I don't want to have to be like the majority and just accepting that work is a loathing experience for a weekly pay check.

[blues23]

Hi Albert23
sorry to hear your stressed about finding work , you said you tried volunteering that’s a good experience it can lead to other jobs ( I read u didn’t enjoy it have you tried other volunteering opportunities in an area u think you would like working in ? ) finding a job can be difficult  there’s lots of no experience roles , traineeships ( while it is harder to get these traineeships when your a bit older but it’s not impossible) has centerlink set u up with job seeking services?   Have u Looked at tafe ,  setting up a small business ( such as music lessons as u mentioned u enjoy music) a franchise perhaps? As they can help too sometimes with training and helping you find employment, it’s hard to find  the perfect job I’ve worked all my life and in some jobs I’ve hated , been In tons of jobs just for the money cause I needed money  and at the end of the day like everything there’s positive & negative to every situation u might find a job u think u might not like but end up working with really nice people which makes the job better cause then u enjoy going to work . Sometimes you have to try putting your toe in the water and see what happens. Sorry you were bullied for such a long time these are horrible experiences and I’m sorry u had to suffer because of others  just remember  there are still some nice people in the world I hope you have some good support network around you . 

[Albert_247]

Thanks blues23, love your name by the way

I was just gonna say I was thinking of maybe volunteer, if I went for a TAFE certificate it would be a IV in Nutrition. I read a lot of nasty comments from people on Reddit and after high school with all my bullying. I assume the worst in people, I feel people are rather degenerate. I made a new post trying to compare my views of myself against what I generalize with society. I am more comfortable being alone now.