What to do - ongoing situation

[chociloni]

I am originally from Perth, and back in November I fled my apartment block due to a scary DV situation. (Not in my flat but close by). Overall I didn't like living there, and there were other intrusive creepy tenants in the block. I came to stay temporarily with my parents who live in a coastal town about a 5 hour drive south of Perth. It was nice at first, so much nature and I felt recharged. I had a remote job which I was able to take to this new town with me. The job was fairly stressful, to be honest I didn't like it, and in January I was fired as 'I wasn't picking things up fast enough.' 

I fell into a terrible depression, and I'm still dealing with this now. I had a psychologist here who I really liked who until recently has cancelled all of her appointments until further notice as she has had a death in the family. So I'm on the look out for another one...but it seems the options here in this town (about 45000 people) aren't as big as they are in Perth. This worries me a bit, there's still a fair amount...but in Perth accessing this kind of support is quite easy. 

I'm feeling at a stage now where I need to make decisions. To be honest I feel like going back to Perth, however there's nowhere or no one I can stay with long term, which is what I would need and there is the housing crisis, so it's not advisable. But I miss all the services there that would be available to me, and certain friends. This coastal town is relaxing for me, I do like it here but I don't want to stay forever. My plan was to stay here until the end of the year, get treatment for my depression and anxiety, then reassess then move back to Perth at end of year. I have a job here, which I've had for 2 weeks working 1 day per week. I'm going to have to get more work. Getting more work freaks me out as it says to me I'm 'now living in the country.' I feel bad taking work then quitting and getting more work next year? I feel that's a fine thing for someone to do in their 20's, but I'm 45. I'm also living rent free with my parents, I haven't lived with my parents for 20 yrs! It's fine living with my Mum but I don't get along with my Father, he is ok sometimes but he is argumentative. I live in the bottom section of the house though, with my own bathroom and kitchen. I don't think moving from my parents home to another home here is a good idea. 

I feel like I'm sabotaging my life! I don't know what I'm doing...am I making the right decisions? 

[Beth_123]

Dear Chociloni,

I am sorry to hear about the difficult situation you have been going through. It sounds like you have been dealing with a lot of stress and uncertainty since leaving your apartment block in Perth due to a DV situation. It's understandable that you miss the services and friends you had in Perth, but it's also good that you have found some relaxation in the coastal town where your parents live.

It's great that you had a psychologist who was helpful to you, and I am sorry to hear that she is unavailable now. It's understandable that finding another psychologist in a smaller town can be challenging, but there are still options available. You could try looking for a psychologist who offers teletherapy, which would allow you to continue working with someone you feel comfortable with, even if they are not in the same physical location as you. Alternatively, you could contact your previous psychologist and ask for a referral to someone in your current location.

It's also understandable that you feel anxious about finding work in the new town. It's important to remember that changing jobs is a common experience for people of all ages, and it does not mean that you are "sabotaging your life." If you feel overwhelmed by the idea of finding new work, you could start by setting small goals for yourself, such as updating your resume or reaching out to former colleagues for advice.

Regarding your living situation, it's understandable that you don't want to move from your parents' house to another rental property in the same town. However, it's important to consider your mental health and well-being. If living with your father is causing you significant distress, it may be worth exploring other options for housing, such as shared living arrangements or temporary accommodation.

Overall, it's clear that you are going through a difficult time, and it's important to prioritize your mental health and well-being. I would encourage you to explore the available resources in your current location, and to consider reaching out to friends and family for support. Remember that it's okay to ask for help, and that there are people who care about you and want to see you thrive.

[chociloni]

I've been contacting friends in Perth but everyone is too busy. I've even sent messages saying I really need help and they don't respond. I'm actually really worried about myself and need to get the right help. I need direction and need to stay on a path. Most days I can't get through the day, I am anxious and depressed. Since losing my job in January I went on Centrelink and got a med cert exempting me for looking for work. I was told by c'link though that I could work during this period if I wanted to. This med cert is ending end of March and now c'link have told me if the med cert is to be extended I can't be working at all. It's pretty confusing information. They have said I need to speak with my job consultant to come up with an arrangement of what do to now if I'm still not feeling at full work capacity. I'm quite paranoid about C'link to tell you the truth. The job consultant is nice however what he has come up with I don't feel suits me, at first I did, but now I don't. I'm actually kindof petrified and I don't know what to do. I'm going to see my dr and explain everything but seriously I need some kind of help, the right support otherwise I am going to be pushed over the edge. 

[HamSolo01]

gday chocoloni

I wanted to highlight something you said here - "I'm actually really worried about myself and need to get the right help"

I like this because it tells me you have insight into your situation. 

I'm only 29 so I haven't had as much life experience as you have, so I don't know exactly what to say. 

Sounds like you are also navigating the centrelink system too which can be a real hassle - my sister is on NDIS and although that is a different system, it is still quite a lot to take in when you're navigating the bureaucracy. 

You mentioned too that the right sort of help is what you need. I'm wondering what that looks like for you? You mention you wanted a psych, could you do online therapy? My partner does this with someone back home in her home country as it is both more affordable for her (due to the exchange rate) and also she can speak in her native language so its clearer. I like your idea of leaving Perth to live in the coastal place to unwind and plan things. I did this recently in early March - went up to queensland to get away from work and Sydney and reassess my priorities. It was not an attempt to escape a problem. It's actually an attempt to tap out and come back to fight with a new strategy (i don't always like to use battle metaphors but I figured I would now).

I do hope you're having a good day.

H