what am I doing

[dougall]

I do not know how to use this site and was looking for someone just to chat with.  I suffer from anxiety and have been suicidal quite a few times over the past 2years.  I have a husband who left because he did not want to know and kept saying get over it already.  Have a son who copes by hiding in his room playing games.  Have no family all abroad.  Find myself trying to push myself out of the quick sand and occasionally slipping under.  Made a promise to son so have not gone as far as I have wanted to.  Had counseling for 12 months. just don't know where or what to do as anxiety stops me from talking to total strangers.  Very lonely and confused as to what is expected of me.

[HA1]

We are with you Dougall.

Your comments and opinions are very much valued, believe me.  Many take comfort in your comments so they are important.  Please continue .

very sad that you are going through an attack at the moment - they come out of nowhere don't they.  Were you able to recognise a trigger this time?

Maybe just go to bed and close your eyes - perhaps listen to some meditation music.  

If it gets too bad just give the BB support line a call.  Let us know how you are feeling.  

Take care

k

[dougall]

thanks my friend Pete I have calmed down and have started to think rationally.  I know being on this site does help with my thoughts and I don't feel judged, I am my worst own enemy.  You have made me feel important enough to keep talking so thank you needed that.  My son has another year at school so I still have to go through that, not looking forward to that as i left school at 16 and was working at 17 so school is longer here.  My son is not sure what he wants to do so trying to help him is sometimes frustrating because he changes from one day to another.  What has happened with your day that has made it not good?  Panic attacks would be okay if they were not so painful.

[dougall]

Thank you my friend Hideaway, I feel so much better, still aching from the physical symptoms of panic attack.  I went outside and picked some flowers I am growing, put them on the kitchen window so it reminds me how beautiful things are.  The trigger could have been anything but i think I was second guessing myself.  Started to think my opinion was not important so why bother, mood has changed and now feel okay with replying to posts.  Thank you for your support so appreciative of you and Pete talking to me.

[pdent]

 Dougall i too have been finding your comments comforting 

I am going taking Hideaways advice to lay down and listen to a podcast

Hi Hideaway any tips to stop my negative thoughts I know  when they are starting to come on but can't seem to stop them multiplying ,like why did I make a certain decision before I know it bang its taken over me 

Thanks pete

[HA1]

Hi Pete

I wish I had an answer that works every time.  But, sometimes when I feel really down, I seek out a quiet place - typically a beach with few people.  On one occasion, I walked slowly just focusing on sound - I forced myself to exclude all other sounds and visions, just listened to the waves crashing in. It took a little while but then it was as if I was in a trance.  I walked for about an hour just listening - I was in effect 'woken' by the sound becoming so loud that I stopped and looked around.  Mindfulness - or my version of it.  Try it with anything that you think can distract your thinking.  Water and Forrest sounds do it for me. But you can do it with anything.  I think it was AGrace that said in another thread that she has done it chewing on a Mintie!

i hope this will help.

take care

K

[HA1]

Good morning Dougall and Pete

hope you both have a very good day.

k

[dougall]

Hi Hideaway good morning to you also.  My day will be an interesting one, my son was not okay last night something or someone had made him very sad, he would not talk about it, asked if he was okay,his reply I'm sort off.  He will be up at 8.00am so I will find out then.  Wonderful living in a house where each day something is happening that makes your brain work and your emotions heighten.  That is what life is all about.  Hopefully my day is as sunny as the morning and yours is full of surprises.

[HA1]

Thanks Dougall

i forgot to mention that both my 'kids' are in their mid-20s, and my dog is a Goldie.

I hope all is well with your son, I know what it is like.  It does not get any easier as they get older :). You constantly worry about what is troubling them.

Take care

K

[dougall]

Hi Hideaway I found out what was bothering him, it is because I would not let him get a tattoo, I'm sure there was more to it but he didn't want to tell me.  My daughter is 22 and in Thailand having a great time, the photos she has posted are so colourful, I am quite envious  of  how cheerful it looks, might have to paint my rooms different colours ha ha.  I have 2 dogs, 2 cats and a parrot called Albert who likes to shout a lot, he lets me know I'm important as if I ignore him he shouts at me ha ha.  With my daughter I came to the realization that no matter what I say she will do what she wants anyway, sounds like me when I was her age.  Have to keep thinking back how I was then relate it to them.  I do let them know if I don't approve but they know what they can tell me.

[pdent]

Hi there dougall and k

I hope you both have had a good day

Thanks k for this tips on worrying I will give anything a go

Dougall your son sounds like a normal kid that wants something that a parent doesn't  ....mine will try anything to get what they want sometimes

Tomorrow is Friday so it looks like we made it 1more week

Your friend

Pete