University trouble...

[wate0121]

I study at university doing a double degree full time. I have never disclosed to teachers that I have anxiety because well I just don't want to I guess.

I struggle at uni as it is, I haven't made a single friend in 2 years.. I go to campus for my compulsory lessons (most of the time) then I leave straight after..I sit by myself, rarely converse with others but I've been doing OK I think..

Well the problem isn't my quality of work .. it's the fact that my anxiety lets myself often miss compulsory classes.. even if I've told myself you going to that class tomorow, go to bed early, all my works up to date, and wake up early... I'll get ready to go and then the smallest thing like for example; I forget I need to get petrol on the way and then I tell myself that now the time I've allowed to get myself to uni isn't enough to get petrol too so I'll be late and then ill have to walk in late and then I find myself deciding oh yep nope it's way too late now I'll just stay home.

We have to complete placement (we did last year too so it's not new to me) once a week for 10 weeks this year ... and first I was excited to go.. I emailed the site and didn't get a response.. Waited and waited and then emailed once more.. no response... by this time everyone else in the topic has started placement and I'm waiting for a response.. I call up and the manager isn't there so I just kind of give up for a week or so... by this time everyone else is on there 4th week and I'm not. Finally I get a response and am meant to start that week... but of course my anxiety kicks in.. and for 3 weeks I tell myself on Tuesdays oh nah not tomorow I'll go Friday.. Friday rolls around... I'll just go next Tuesday..

so im now about 7 weeks behind and the uni Liason visit is due... she goes there I'm not there and she calls me...(I've managed to not move from bed when my alarms gone off) and make up that I'm sick and I'll go twice of the next fortnight... and when asked what day up to out of 10 days.. I freak out and say day 4.. even though I haven't started..

I go this week finally!!! and LOVE it and can't believe why I was so anxious.. except by now my uni liason has spoken to the manager and knows I've lied and haven't been in for those 4 days... She's now reported me for a discrepancy in what I've said and I have to go in for a meeting to pass...WHAT DO I SAY!!! I don't want to tell them but I'll have to and now I'm freaking out and cannot think of anything else . HELP

[geoff]

hello Wate, well from what you have said is that by doing a double degree full time is way too much, I'm not saying that you're not capable, I'm absolutely sure you are, but this decision was made when you were feeling well.
Now at the moment you're not feeling 100% and this worries and concerns me greatly, simply because your anxiety is beginning to be the dominant part here that is taking over.
If you postpone a degree that doesn't mean you're not capable in any aspect, all it means is that you are doing what you are mentally capable of doing, so two degrees is an enormous amount of study, classes and assignments.
You would be wise to disclose to them of your anxiety, it's different than being in a job which could then turn out to be difficult as to what happens with you, you're at uni, and should never push yourself to the extreme limit, remember you have to think about later on in life where you maybe pushed to the limit by a company, so you must teach yourself how far you can actually go. Geoff.