too overwhelmed

[Amanda2000]

Covid has taken away my personal space. I'm becoming more and more anxious & depressed.

Home - I'm overwhelmed by my family being at home 24/7. I get very nervous when I hear their footsteps. Urge to run and hide. They're always in my way when it comes to shared-areas like the kitchen and bathroom. I try to avoid them and I don't talk much to them. No privacy to cry.

Work - I work part-time but people seem to have forgotten now that everyone is used to working-from-home. I jump every time my phone rings. I feel "guilty" that I have missed their calls on my non-work days and imagine they're thinking the worst of me. I know it's self-inflicted "fake" guilt but I can't fight off this horrible feeling.

I just want to be left alone. I want to feel some peace and quiet again - both physically and mentally.

[Guest9337]

Hi Amanda2000,

We all need headspace, I suggest you speak up about your need for it.

Regarding being left alone and feeling peace and quiet... Is there a place in the backyard/front yard or near to home in your local area you can go to feel those peaceful needs?

I find a bike ride gives me headspace as no one talks to me as I ride. Further the freedom experienced gives me opportunity to stop whenever and wherever I like to continue feeling peaceful.

Do you have a bike? Walking and running achieve the same objectives for others too.

[Sophie_M]

Hi Amanda2000, 

Covid has definitely put a spanner in the works for many people and we have definitely seen a rise in people's anxiety and depression levels. it can be hard to take on day to day activities when there is no privacy, space and when in need of peace and quiet. Your response to the phone ringing sounds like a trauma response and it may be helpful to seek some support as it sounds like your nervous system is struggling with the overwhelm, as you have mentioned being overwhelmed. 

If you feel it may be helpful, we’d recommend reaching out to our Coronavirus Mental Wellbeing Support Service. The website will be regularly updated with information, advice and strategies to help you manage your wellbeing and mental health during this time. You can also call our dedicated support line, staffed by mental health professionals, which is available 24/7 at the Beyond Blue Coronavirus Mental Wellbeing Support Service on 1800 512 348. 

You are not alone and there is support for you. Keep turning towards this community, we are here for you.

[Amanda2000]

Thanks david'n'goliath.

I'm the homebody in my family. My husband usually goes out with our 2 teenage kids so that I can have some peace and quiet at home. During lockdown he still takes them out just to walk around the neighbourhood. Their time away from the house does give me a break but not long enough! I guess some temporary relief is better than none at all.

I sleep after they're all asleep and try to get up before them. One of my kids is an early-bird and the other one likes to sleep late. Again I don't have a long enough window in-between to avoid them. I'm always in a case of bad-timing with my family. I've tried getting up plus-and-minus 15-minutes but the early-bird is always there to ruin the peaceful start to my day. When I hear no one is in the kitchen, I quickly go there but then someone always comes in while I'm there. Then after I'm gone, nobody is there. The main living area of my house is tiled so every sound they make is mega-loud to my super-sensitive hearing. Today is the same as yesterday, and tomorrow won't be any better .... sigh.

[Guest9337]

Evening Amanda2000.

I too am the more persistent homebody of our family. Not yet faced a lock down, but wife just informed me volunteer work just cancelled her 4 hour shift tomorrow.

I am an audiophile, so know a bit about sound/hearing. A few rugs will dampen tile noise, if strategically placed. Also one can buy paintings that absorb sound, or reflect sound away.

Noise cancelling earbuds and/or headphones work great too, and teens grow to love them for study focus, whilst parents appreciate the quiet of itself!

You got any money available mate? Go buy a few of those suggestions tomorrow and that might just change something for the better hey?

If u are in South Oz, then Vaf Research could supply "room treatment" information for you. I don't work there by the way.

Otherwise a google for "Primacoustic room treatment" is another brand name for ya.

[Amanda2000]

I appreciate some of you might be struggling with loneliness in these covid-times. I have the problem at the other end of the spectrum! I feel totally overwhelmed by the presence of my family being under the same roof 24/7.

I get anxiety from their noise as well as movement around me. The only time I can relax with them is during meal-times when we're all sitting down.

Everyday is an exercise of how to avoid them. It's exhausting! I try to sleep after them and get up before them. The extra hour of calmness in the morning and at night is great for my mental health, but I'm not getting enough sleep so it's difficult to function during the day. As soon as it's perfectly quiet at late-night, my energy returns. Sadly it's a trade-off between my mental health vs physical health.

[Nervybella]

Hi again Amanda!

that must be very difficult not having any space to yourself. On your days off, are you able to get away from the house? Go for a drive or walk or even the cinemas?

I assume your family knows about your anxiety, but are you able to speak to them about giving you some space?

[Guest9337]

Evning Amanda2000!

Did you try out the noise cancelling headphones or ear buds to dampen sounds?

noise is so distracting and difficult to background process, I imagine that's tiring recently.

[Amanda2000]

Hi again Bella,

Yes my family is doing everything they can to give me as much space as possible. I usually don't talk to them until dinner-time. Kind of like how it would be if we were going to work/school during the daytime and only get together at dinner. My mind just cannot relax knowing they're at home with me.

Also the household chores are more work for me when they're all at home. I do get them to help but there are certain things that I cannot trust them to do!

I've attempted to make some lifestyle changes but it's impossible when I need to observe their schedules and work around them. I like to have a predictable schedule so that I can allow some time to myself, whereas my husband is the spontaneous type. Weekends are very bad because there's no set timetable and the meal times can be a little all over the place.

[Amanda2000]

Hi david'n'goliath,

Unfortunately the headphones/ear buds are creating another problem! When I can hear them approaching, at least I get a warning to prepare myself mentally. Not being able to hear them coming is much worse. I get pre-emptive anxiety that they might pop up like ghosts. And then I get a heart attack when I do see them unexpectedly.

Also the use of rugs etc. to absorb noise doesn't quite work for my house due to the layout together with the tiled floor. It's an open kitchen with a large entertaining area fully tiled.

I feel trapped.