Studying with anxiety and depression

[CJs_mum]

Hi guysm
Firstly, THANK YOU BeyondBlue and thank you to everyone on here, to the mods and to those who work tirelessly for BB and its clients. I think this place is amazing.
Hope BB is helping you today.

Im reaching out because after coping for quite some time being a full time student trying desperately to pass a full-time Accounting course, Ive been told I probably wont pass and that there's just no point in returning next year.
I've attempted one unit of this previously but had a mental breakdown after working full time, studying full time and trying to be a good daughter to abusive parents and a partner and a mother and sucking at it all, I collapsed.

I was just trying to make a better life. My life has been a horrible nothing - messy, with no work to speak of, thousands of dollars I couldn't afford to spend down the drain in study and furniture/clothes shopping i regret, never to be seen again. That is all I have. I want to do better. I want to make it better. Now I'm being told "Accounting and Office work just isn't for you."
I don't know what is.

I feel lost. I feel like there's no point in trying to finish this course now, but i am so so so close to finishing IF i just put the effort in....that however, is triggering all kinds of anxiety and negative thougts within me (eg: "I'm not good enough, I'll never make it. I'm useless." "Dad was right.", "There's too much to do, agh!! Panic!").

Im just not sure where I should be going or what to do now if this isn't any good: what am I good for? What am I good at? All I know is that Im good at making lots of mistakes and making a mess of this thing called life.

Just wanted to get that off my chest and see if anyone else feels this way sometimes...whated i guess to know that this is ok, I'll be ok and figure something out - just don't know what yet.
Does anyone have any ideas on what they can chose to study or have as some sort of starting point for a career in this crazy, jobless economy?

Good luck to you all. xxx

[smallwolf]

Hi, and welcome to beyond blue.

First of all, I want you to know that you are useful. And you might not know what what course to choose. More on that later. You could consider talking to the student services/counsellors to help you decide what to do. Personally, I would not be attempting to work and study full time. Even when I did not have kids, but working full time, I only studied part time. But that is me. So you are also trying to be a mother as well, and the pressure is overwhelming?

I will try to give you an abridged version of my history. After high school I did not get into Uni. Instead I did a TAFE course in (then) Business/Computing. I found out that I was pretty good at computing, and did not like business too much. At the end of this course I had a Assoc. Dip. That was good enough to get me into Uni. At the end of my time in Uni, I had a Masters in Applied Science (Computing). Looking back, while I was at Uni, I cannot remember how many other "kids" found out their choices were not to their liking and had to tell their parents, or changed degrees at the beginning, or got a degree and did something different work wise.

One thing you could get out of my story is there are other options (alternatives) to getting a qualification. Or maybe do the study part time?

This year, I had a bit of a mental breakdown. At the time I was also studying a BTh (part time) and doing only 2 subjects. I stopped the more difficult subject in term 1 and in term 2 did no subjects. That is until I get better. Deferring is also a possibility? But I also remained in contact with lecturers about what to do, who gave me support. Now I am not sure of what sort of the relationship you have with the lecturers, but they might be able to provide guidance as opposed to "don't do it".

So you are not alone, either here at BB or with Uni. People have made wrong choices before. And some use different pathways. I guess my question to you is ...

what do you like doing?

Tim