Stuck in front of the TV!!!!

[ChrissyStar]

Hi, I have a request which may sound pretty funny or lazy at first - but it is a real problem of mine and I really need some advice here. I suffer from anxiety/depression + heroin use (where the come-down fuels the anxiety/depression). So, I am working through the opiate dependence and I don't need advice there. What I would appreciate advice about is a habit (?) I have developed where I sit in front of the TV and do nothing else!! I am afraid of starting anything in case I can't finish it. I am afraid of living in a shitty house yet I can't clean it - thus is stays shit. I can't do anything except watch TV. Anything else brings me too much anxiety. And my responsibilities are piling up. I need to find something to stop the anxiety - so that I can live normally. Any advice? Has anyone moved from this state to a better one - how did you do it?

[Hardy524]

Sorry your going through a tough time. I don't know if I can help but I use to be afraid to eat Incase I got food poisoning. Apart from the medication I was on and all the counselling sessions I think the thing that helped me was starting small. A dry cracker one day, two the next. Maybe in your case just set yourself a small goal for the day. Something really simple and then try to repeat it the next day, etc. Best of luck.

[pipsy]

Hi ChrissyStar. Living with depression is so hard. You are looking for some directions on overcoming the depression which is stopping you from wanting to do anything. Cleaning your house, where to start. I would start by making your bed, every day. Once you feel comfortable with bed-making (no time limit, just when you feel comfortable), if you are happy with just making your bed, for now, then you have achieved that much. The idea is to start small and build up over time. If it takes two weeks, it takes two weeks. The length of time isn't important, your happiness is what's important. A clean house is great, but so is happiness. If you are happy just making your bed and putting clothes/shoes away, you have achieved happiness. Maybe try listening to some music to dance to while you make your bed, or whatever you do.

Lynda

[Vegetarian Marshmallow]

Try to plan what you'll do when you find yourself watching TV habitually. Imagine vividly that you'll stop yourself at precisely the next commercial break, and clean precisely *that* particular aspect of the room (a desk or some clothes on the floor or something).

And as said, start small. Motivation's a cyclical thing. We're habit machines. Do a little bit of something, your brain learns that you can do it and it gets folded into the same kind of mental space as your habit of watching TV. There's effort in your watching of TV; you have to move your arms in certain ways to press buttons, keep yourself positioned in a certain way so you can see the screen, move yourself around when you notice you're getting cramped. But your brain hides that effort from you. Any other activity can come to feel essentially the same in terms of mental effort, given time and practice.

[BballJ]

Hi ChrissyStar,

Firstly, welcome to the forums.

This is yet another form of anxiety most of us know too well. You seem to be using TV as a reason to sort of cave into your anxiety, which by all means I am not judging you on, many of us have "escapes" from anxiety, that just happens to be yours, mine is music personally.

Have you been to see a GP about referring you to a psychologist to talk and sort through these issues?

I can't recommend them enough and it took me 10 years to accept my anxiety and i finally seeked the help this year.

My best for you,

Jay

[ChrissyStar]

Thank you for your replies and for caring enough to share your thoughts. It really means alot to know I have support from my greater community. I feel that no matter how hard a situation may seem - I allways have a chance of getting through it by communicating my concerns & receiving your replies. Thank you so SO SO much everyone!! My heart sends you lots of appreciation, respect & love. I will take it easy when I feel I should and try to remember that life is not that scary - that the anxiety is a feeling that will pass and not to worry about it too much. And to come to you if I need to know this from others too. I went on some medication which my GP was happily easy to provide (as at the time I believed it would help me) - and I enjoyed the assistance there. It did help for a few months and I was happy with the medication. At some point I decided I no longer needed it and I stopped taking it. I did not suffer any withdrawls or anxiety in doing this, which was great. I feel I can cope wihtout the medication and that it worked in the sense that I felt better knowing that I could access this easily if I wished to. I think what i need to do know is find some activiites which will fill those voids in my life that create the anxiety in the first place. I don't want to go into it too much right now as I don't want ot take on too much and stress myself out. Right now, I am happy knowing that cleaning the house and getting myself in order here is good enough. A great start. ANd that TV is there if I need - but not something I have to do. I have broken/am breaking the habit. Slowly but surely - I am getting there!! Thanks to your help and support - and reminding me that I am not alone. Appreciated.

[geoff]

hi ChrissyStar, some great replies from all the people above, but I want to approach another angle here, and at the moment could you google 'how does OCD affect me' or 'what is OCD'and see if any of this relates back with what is happening to you. Geoff. x

[Kazzl]

Hiya ChrissyStar, it's lovely to have you on the forum and I think many people here would relate to what you've described. It is so very hard to get motivated to do things when you're down or anxious. I know it well. You watch TV, I sleep (honestly, I could sleep for Australia).

I totally agree with everyone's suggestions of starting small. It's about achieving the achievable and taking pride and motivation from it. So, when you do achieve something, however small, make sure you focus on what you have done, not what you haven't (like other parts of the house that still need cleaning). Set your goals small and celebrate them.

Another thing I try to do for Those Days is have a morning routine. Get up at a certain time (only as early as suits you), have a shower, put on clean clothes, do you hair etc. Even if you are not going anywhere, you will feel better about yourself if you're clean and tidy, and it can help give shape to your day to start with a routine.

Another possibility is to use the 10 minute rule - something alcoholics getting sober can use to delay having another drink. Basically you tell yourself you can watch TV (have a drink etc) but not for 10 minutes and not until you've done X (washed up say). Then try and build on that. When 10 minutes is up tell yourself the same - no TV until I've done X.

The difference of course is that when we use this for addiction, the idea is that we delay until the urge to drink or whatever passes. You don't need to avoid TV altogether but the delaying tactic might give you space to achieve a little more each day. It's about delaying gratification until its powerful pull on you lessens and you build strength against it. Hope this makes sense.

Very best to you, hope you'll keep talking with us.

Cheers

Kaz

[ChrissyStar]

Hi All, thank you for your replies and conversation! (Hearts to you big time)...so it's been a year or so since I posted this and have been doing, well....I guess, better - but still got the TV prob. It's come back real hard ATM and I wonder if there is some kind of hypnotism stuff in the shows...I know it sounds ridiculous, but I just really get stuck - like I have lost my power to do anything else! I don't even enjoy it - just find it extremely easy and can do it very well. I can do other things well, too...but for some reason don't do them! This TV thing has a real hold over me. I feel so stupid writing this - but it's honest and I need help! My boyfriend laughs and says it's laziness - but I hide it from him (well, he goes to work). My job dies down in the winter (it's a plant nursery) so this makes it worse - more time to dwell and get stuck in front of the damn TV. I feel like I've got some kind of obsession and thanks to geoff for mentioning the OCD thing. Can anyone provide advice? OCD TV obsessions - are they a kind of thing - like escapism crossed with no-stress because I don't exist...my brain shuts off. Oh jeezz...sigh**so down right now. I hope this post can help others too.

[Brisneyland]

mmm, maybe find an activity to do and have the TV on in the background. So maybe drawing, painting, cooking, crosswords, or whatever you enjoy doing. TV is a passive activity so you have to find an active pursuit to break the habit.