Struggling with work

[Missberri]

Hello,

I posted not too long ago about some problems I'm having with a new job. I started this job about a month ago and was feeling awful there from the get go. I don't know if this is normal, as I've never had a full-time job before, but I decided to wait it out and see if things got better.

One month later things haven't gotten tat much better. While I feel a little less overwhelmed I'm still feeling quite pressured and just generally unhappy. I'm not sure what to do. This work is great experience for me, but a lot of the work does not resonate with me at all and in fact makes me feel really anxious.. I have to constantly email clients, call clients and eventually will be going into huge meetings to present pitches for our company. I'm one of the most socially anxious people I know and this sounds like a nightmare for me. And just in general, I feel like this role is not at all playing to my own personal strengths and values and every day I just want to come home and lie in bed and not even talk to my room mate or anything.. I just want to sit there. I've had to work over time so much already - I haven't finished on time even once since I started and I'm not even getting paid extra for this. I don't know if I'm just a miserable anxious person in general or if this job is really effecting me. I don't know if i got a new job if i would feel the same way or if something different may actually make me feel better. I don't know what makes me feel good anymore and I don't know what I'm good at. I feel like I'm good at pretty much nothing and my boss is almost making it quite clear that she feels the same. She's clearly disappointed that I'm not what she expected I was going to be, but i don't know how to be what she wants. I feel honestly like a disappointment of a person because my social anxiety and depression gets in the way of almost everything..

I just want to find something that is meaningful to me and somewhere i can feel good and appreciated and feel like what I'm bringing to the table is valued and I value doing it. I have no idea what to do I just can't think straight and am stuck in my own head feeling stupid and pathetic. I can't believe I have to go back to work tomorrow again and feel more of the same thing. I just feel like a mess and I have no idea what to do anymore..

If anyone has any ideas on what i should do please let me know..

[Blue_Jane]

Hi Missberri

Sorry to read how you are feeling. When were you diagnosed with depression and anxiety? What are your methods for managing it? I am always curious to hear what works for different people.

Let's start with the positives - you have landed a job which sounds interesting and varied. And you did this alongside of the noise in your mind. That is a big achievement.

In terms of next steps, can you sit down with your boss and explain what you are feeling? Can you tell her the parts of the role you like and the parts you need her help with? She might not have noticed you are struggling - people like us are our own worst enemy and often over analyse what people are thinking about us (I do it all the time).

I wouldn't worry about the extra time you are working, that is just the nature of work. Not many of us work just the hours we are paid for.

You might start enjoying this job once you have had that conversation with your boss. Plus a month in is not very long. Saying that, you and your boss might decide that this isn't the role for you...if that is the case it is fine. You got this job so you will get another one.

I look forward to hearing from you.

Blue Jane

[Missberri]

Hi Blue Jane

thank you for your response. Talking to my boss would be a great idea however I feel almost incompetent at everything 😕

the main part of my role is dealing with clients and I have terrible social anxiety and I just feel like I'm drowning..

this week I've been left completely on my own while my boss went on holiday and I've been having to answer calls from clients that I just don't know the answer to. The product we sell is quite complex and I have not fully grasped everything yet

im starting to not be able to sleep at night and I feel overly stressed already.. is this normal?

i can't even sleep on the weekends anymore because they feel so short and not enough time to recuperate or enjoy myself

i was diagnosed with anxiety and depression about 5 years ago when I started having problems with my energy levels and sleep.. I just went to the uni counsellors for this

is this what all jobs are like? I really want to work but I find no enjoyment in this position.. just stress and anxiety I've tried pushing through but it has felt wrong from day one. Is it better to just stick it out anyway and see if I improve or is it okay to find something I like better where maybe it's smaller and not as great experience but I can cope better?

thank you

[BS0412]

I always hate the closed door sessions I have to have with my bosses. When I think I am getting better, something else always comes up that I don’t realise I am doing. I dread when I think I have done something wrong when in actual fact I have not.

[Blue_Jane]

Hi Missberri

Is your boss back tomorrow? If so, maybe jot down a few points that you want to raise with her and then have a chat. If that is too much, can you send her an email? And explain that you are struggling and that writing it down is easier than a face to face conversation?

It is important that your boss knows that you haven't yet grasped the full nature of the product yet - as you are new this is very normal. Can you tell her the parts of the product that you don't yet fully understand? That can be part of the email as above?

I think it is time you go and see your GP. Explain how you are feeling. They might have some good ideas that are more suitable to your medical history.

No not all jobs are like this. There are elements of all jobs that are stressful however you should enjoy most parts. Especially as it sounds like you are early in your career.

Let me know how you go.

Blue Jane