Struggling with sleeping in general and no desire to sleep

[Walto17]

hey everyone

been having trouble sleeping for the last week. ive had trouble sleeping most of my life and it would come and go with bad periods but recently has been difficult.

to summarize, my problem is trying to get to sleep and then staying asleep, if i sleep and get even 2 hours sleep, i am fine, but when i am constantly trying to get to sleep and then when i do, wake up an hour later i lose desire to want to sleep because i get sick of having to try get back to sleep. it feels like so much effort trying to get to sleep and when i do just to wake up an hour and have to deal with it again makes me not want to sleep anymore so i prolong wanting to sleep.

i've slept at 6-8am till lunch-3 even 5pm for 10 years as it's been the only time that i've been able to sleep consistently but in recent events like losing 2 dogs in a tragic accident and the other been put down after having him for 18 years, i feel like it's created a feeling of loneliness and what i mean by that is that over the weekend, my family goes out in the mornings to do family things and i think with the loss of the dogs, i've wanted to accompany my family but because i go to sleep when they wake up, i haven't been able to do those things, so the other day i tried to reset my sleeping clock by staying up 24 hours, i crashed at 12 lunch time and sleep on and off till 2 in the morning then fell asleep at 6 and woke up at 8am but last night i think i went to be to early at 930pm didn't get to sleep until 1130, woke up at 1am went back to bed and woke up at 3 and have been up ever since.

i honestly don't know what to do because trying to sleep at night makes me anxious but i want to spend more time with my family but i have a better chance at sleeping in the morning because i've done it that way for 10 years but then miss out on doing stuff with family and i feel generally bored and miserable in the middle of the night. it's complicated i know but i didn't really know what else to do.

right now my plan is to really just exhaust myself but i know in the long run that's not a good idea.

any tips or advice would be greatly appreciated.

[Tay100]

Hi Walto17

Thanks for posting here, we are happy to have you.

I relate to you- sleep problems/inconsistencies can be some of the peskiest realities they are- it is pervasive and affects everything you do, and for me, how you grow and develop, which is daunting. So you aren't alone. Of course, good old isolation doesn't help with maintaining a good routine either.

I'm sorry to hear about your dogs- please know grieving for pets is just as valid, and challenging as grieving for other loved ones. Have you told your family about grief/sleep struggles? Perhaps they can adjust their catch-ups to fit in with your schedule as you slowly try and make adjustments to it?

Reaching out and seeing a sleep specialist may help you address the logistic side of things, too. For example, I have prescribed some melatonin (the sleep hormone)- this was the helpful little kick I needed when trying to make adjustments on my own wasn't working. Getting some professional help may bring to light some solutions, so it's worth biting the bullet if you can. You can update me on your progress too, if you like, as I know these things can take time and it can be draining just to keep persisting, so I'm happy to listen.

Sending kindness to you, hope you get some relief,

Tay100

[Walto17]

Thanks Tay, means a lot.

i think the biggest issue for me at the moment is it takes me a while to go to sleep and i only sleep for 1 to an 1 and half, 2 hours if i am lucky. If i could sleep for a few hours on and off then i wouldn't feel so compelled to not want to sleep.

Just trying to stay positive at this stage and hoping i get lucky because i know that if i can sleep and get even 3 hours sleep straight that it will be a lot better.

[Tay100]

Hi Walto17

No worries at all, glad I could help somewhat.

Hmmmm...sleep disturbance can be the most frustrating element of sleep problems- I can only get a few hours of sleep too, before the slightest bit of noise/light rouses me. And it takes me ages to get to stage 1 sleep- that seems like a common issue too, so you aren't alone there.

You are right, staying positive helps. Maybe changing your routine even slightly will help you reach 3 hours of sleep, over time. Keep us posted, if you like.

Hope you get there!

Tay100