Struggling with daily panic attacks

[greatworrier]

Hi all, hope you are coping as well as you can be during this stressful time.

I wanted to reach out for help as I am really struggling with daily panic attacks & chronic anxiety 24/7. I feel very surreal & dream like, have muscle pain from the attacks, burning hot skin & then sweaty chills, feel shaky & weak, dizzy, nauseous, experience hyperventilation, have loss of appetite & like I can’t enjoy the things I used to. It seems like I can’t switch off the ‘panic’ mode in my brain. Like something bad or tragic is always about to happen. I find things like medication & therapy helpful, but no one ever seems to have the answers when my raw full blown panic hits & I ask a lot of existential questions.

I feel like such a burden onto everyone around me because it completely turns you into a child state & you become very needy. I find routine in my day helps to keep my grounded, whether it’s a good day or a hard day. I feel really embarrassed though to be going through mental health issues when everyone around me seems like they’ve got their shit together.

My uncle recently passed away way too young in his 50s & I think that’s what had triggered a lot of my panic. I overthink about - realising that we all die, where do we go when we die, religions & spirituality worries, fears of losing control & possibly wanting to die. I also have somatic OCD so I’m always checking in to see if I’m breathing, which makes me feel like I’m locked into breathing / life, I’m locked into my body with it’s terrible sensations. I often wish I was a spirit enjoying my life rather than being in my body. The body dies, experiences pain & illness, & is very fragile. I just am totally traumatised.

It’s such a strange time, I only feel safe when I’m asleep. Escaping.

I just want this fog to lift & feel like myself again. It’s comforting to know that I’m not the only person out there experiencing similar issues. I really want to be able to relax again & feel safe in this life, not like doom is constantly chasing me.

Just venting it out also helps haha. If you have any comments or tips please feel free to express them 🙂

[Sophie_M]

Hi greatworrier,

Welcome to the forums, we are so grateful that you have been so brave in opening up and sharing your journey with us. We're also really sorry to hear of the loss of your uncle, and how difficult things are for you right now. But please know that you've come to a safe space to talk about these feelings, and our wonderful community is here to help you through this.

If you feel up to it, we'd also recommend reaching out to our Support Service, which is available 24/7 by phone on 1300 22 4636 or on Webchat 3pm-12am AEST on our website: www.beyondblue.org.au/getsupport. One of our friendly counsellors will be able to talk through these feelings with you and can offer support, advice and referrals.

Please feel free to keep us updated here on what you're feeling and going through. These forums are here for you whenever you feel up to it.



 

[Tay100]

Hi greatworrier

Firstly, I'm sorry to hear about your uncle. Things like this are always hard to deal with no matter what else you have going on, so please remember this and be gentle with yourself. You can do this following Sophie_M's suggestions about getting some structured help. In conjunction, you can also chat to us on here, because as you say, you aren't alone in how you feel and what you experience.

I'm here to listen if you need- you say you want to feel more like yourself again. We can help remind you your struggle is valid, but you are more than your struggle- and what that mentality looks like on an everyday level. Up to you- we'll be here.

Sending kindness to you during your time of loss,

Tay100