Struggling to cope but hope to overcome with your encouragement

[worldcitizen1919]

We are an elderly couple with diabetes and other illnesses which make us very vulnerable to the virus. I’m trying to reconcile a problem in my mind that seems perplexing and is a cause of anxiety but with guidance from people here I think I might be able to overcome this fixation I’m stuck on.

We have a lot of friends. I mean lots. Or we thought we did. But since this virus began none of them have kept in touch despite calls from the pm and govt to look out for each other. Now that people are basically home bound I’m at a loss why nobody seems to care. I’ve contacted many people just to say hello and they reply but basically they don’t want to talk. Of course I feel like an outcast amidst an already difficult situation with this virus. Recently I had a couple of skin infections so was visiting emergency a few times and taxis cost me over $200 to get to the hospital and doctor.

I just feel alone and abandoned and it’s not a good feeling. Why my fiends don’t seem interested to look in on us and say how are you doing beats me because I look in on them. I’ve had a couple of anxiety or panic attacks physical not emotional. I mean that my eyes just felt dilated and I felt unwell and anxious physically not mentally but I assume it’s from the situation I’m in,

How do I deal with this rejection by my friends just not wanting to have anything to do with me especially at this time with the virus? It’s like being kicked in the teeth while down. How do I reconcile my thoughts and emotions to become peaceful now that I mean nothing to them at all which makes me feel worthless, a reject of society, unwanted and unloved.

[Birdy77]

Dear worldcitizen1919,

I can hear your feelings of rejection and sadness and bewilderment in your post.

The first thought that came to my mind when reading your words was that maybe it's not that they don't care, but that they themselves are so caught up in this crisis and just trying to get their own selves organised?

I felt a bit bad, because there is a friend i have who is a vulnerable person, and i haven't yet checked in on her this week because of the craziness going on around us and trying to sort out my little family and household, not that i don't care about her, quite the opposite. Also a few friends of mine have been so caught up now with homeschooling children who are normally at school, and partners at home who are normally at work.

I am not dismisding your feelings or thoughts at all - but i just wonder if maybe in a week or two, when we all kind of get used to this different way of life, that things might improve, communication wise, with your friends?

I am so glad you've made your way here to beyond blue and please keep in touch here.

We care.

🌻birdy

[Adele_G]

Dear worldcitizen 1919,

I am Adele, i'm 19 and I just wanted to reply and let you know that although it feels like it, you're not unwanted or unloved. I'm at studying at university and know a bit about diabetes and that its a condition which can be stressful enough to manage without the added anxiety that the virus is creating. I hope you are well and stay safe, look after each other.

My Granddad is almost 80, he lives by himself and has been coming over to our house for dinner twice a week for almost 10 years. Now he can't over anymore so we facetime him everyday instead. He has stopped going out to see his friends as well and i can't imagine how lonely and isolating that would feel, but as a vulnerable person its too dangerous for him and his friends, especially one who is already has already has an illness.

Everyone is very stressed, relationships between friends and families are strained but i encourage you to keep in contact with them. Send a message, call them or facetime them. It can be so difficult to do that when you feel unwanted but i think you'll find so many are feeling just as anxious and isolated as you are.

If you ever want to chat or are feeling isolated you can always send a message here

- Adele

[Guest_4643]

Hi worldcitizen1919, welcome to the forums. As Adele and Birdy have said, I'm sorry you're struggling. You're not alone with the isolation and illnesses.

I wish I could offer more advice and help, but if you'd like someone to chat with, I'm here. Take care.

Tayla

[worldcitizen1919]

Hi Adele,

Thank you for your encouraging words. Here’s what I did. I felt so strongly about the matter that I sent an email to a lot of my friends enquiring how they are and offering them my love and prayers. One must lead by example I thought. Many of them got back to me mentioning that it was ‘exactly what they needed’ and lifted their flagging spirits’. I guess out of all of them I was the lucky one that although stressed myself, had enough strength of spirit to do the uplifting. I was thinking that I was the weak one and they were the ones who were strong but I got the surprise of my life when I discovered I had enough resolve to uplift 10 people while feeling so insignificant and unworthy. When things like this happen I feel God loves me. I feel He is a true friend.

Something else very wonderful and unusual did happen. I’m isolated in a country town and I love to meet my friends but distance is a problem. Whenever they have a meeting I feel depressed because I can’t drive as I have epilepsy. Today they met over the internet and decided that due to the pandemic distance and isolation will be tackled head on by having all meetings virtually and I will now be able to attend and not feel so left out!!

As the lady said - it took a pandemic for the penny to drop - so I was feeling God really cares and now I don’t have to worry about being grounded with no car as everyone is grounded and now are forced to go online!!

its so humbling. I feel that I’ve been like one sheep that got separated from the flock due to injuries and that God took pity on me and moved the entire flock so we could all be together. God is so nice and good and kind. I get tested but I know He loves me and tests me to make me stronger so I can give strength to others even when my batteries feel empty.

I never ask anything from God because I might get it and I’m not wise enough to know what’s really best for me.

Ive always been blest to have contact with beautiful people and here I see you are all so beautiful and I feel for your stress but I promise you that we are not alone and that there is a happy light at the end of every dark tunnel. All things pass and this will and happiness will return.