Stress and Anxiety overload

[BWilkP]

Hi i'm new to this but i'm at a point in life where i don't know what to do or how to make things better.

It's Mainly to do with my job i feel like i'm drowning and it doesn't matter how much people offer to help it just keeps piling on top. I have a full time job and a couple years ago i absorbed most of another persons job and was already at peak workload now my boss has gone away for a 7 week trip and i am taking on some of his job too. I work in accounts and it's EOFY with a double maxed out work load and a heap of other issues coming up. I have so much stress and anxiety built up i can't remember the last time my hands didn't shake i'm hysterically crying everyday most days i just want to crawl up in a ball and sleep forever. It's hard to talk to people about it because my life is going so great on the outside, I just got married to an amazing man and we have a house that i'm looking at renovating soon we are going a heap of holidays this year including Hawaii and we are wanting to start a family soon. What could i possibly be sad about.. right???

I wish it was simple as just looking for another job, but because we want to do a reno i can't change jobs before we get a loan and to pay the loan i can't risk not getting paid enough.

And to start a family i need to be with an employer for at least a year to get looked after when it comes to paid parental leave, as above we need to have the money to pay the loan. I am stuck between a rock an a hard place

I don't want to let down my Husband but i feel like i may already be doing that by being a bit distant, shut in and unhappy. I heard in a group talk once someone say, "You've got to want to be happy" and I so badly do, I'm here because most importantly i don't want to let myself down.

If anyone has any suggestions or opinions of what i could do i'd love to hear them

[Birdy77]

Hello BWilkP,

Welcome here 😊 I'm glad you've reached out for some support today.

You sound absolutely and completely overwhelmed, and from the sounds of it, the main issue is that you are utterly overworked.

Unless I have missed something, your workload seems to be the primary problem. It doesn't seem right for you to be already pretty much doing the work of two people, plus taking on extra with your boss away for 7 weeks. It sounds awful! And unfair.

You said people at work offer to help but it doesn't seem to take the load off ... is it possible to spend a couple of days reorganising your workload so that some tasks can be delegated to others? It just sounds necessary to me ... You can't be expected to do three people's jobs. You'll burn out.

I also would encourage you to be really open with your lovely husband and let him know how stressed you are, especially if you feel you may have withdrawn from him a little bit - reassure him it's not about him but that you are really struggling with work, that way he can support you better.

I don't feel that I am being very helpful here, I am sorry! But i wanted you to know you have been heard, and you are very welcome to talk more and nut things out further.

Sending you calm and supportive vibes today BWilkP.

🌻birdy

[FullCreamMilk]

Hi,

Personally I feel like you just need to take a short break if possible lets say 1 or 2 days and really think about what you want at this point in your life as well as time to look after yourself.

Before continuing I'd just like to tell you that just because majority of thing sin your life may be going well for you, it does in no way mean that you can't be sad or that you don't have a reason to be sad. Take your work for example, it's obviously extremely stressful and is clearly taking a massive toll of your mental health so although you may be married to an amazing man whom you love, there's still something in your life that is bothering you and keeping you from feeling completely happy.

Going back to thinking about what you really want. Although as you've stated, quitting your job and finding a new one is not something that you'd want to do due to your plans you have for your future. I feel like you need to figure out if keeping your current job and being constantly overwhelmed and drained is worth it. If your mental health goes down the drain so will your social health, physical health and other aspects of your health.

If you're already feeling so stressed about your current situation will starting a family make things worse or will they make things better. Should you maybe hold off starting a family for now?

The same applies for the renovation of your home. Renovating take times and do you have time to spare right now because it seems like all your spare time goes to sleep or something because of how draining your work life is.
But if it's something that you know that you'll enjoy and something that will help make things less stressful for you despite the fact that you'll have more on your hands go for it.

No matter what you choose make sure that you're doing what you feel like is the best choice for you and your health.

I feel like you should talk to your husband about how you feel and see if he has any ideas as to how he can help you and reassure you that you're not letting him down.

Maybe take some time and go see a psychologist and just let everything out because I feel like that's what you really need right now.

You deserve to be happy and not feel maxed out and like you can't talk to someone.

I wish you all the best and hope to hear some good new from you soon.

🙂