Stay at home mum returning to the workforce after 10 years

[Renee2018]

So here I am, 34 years old and up until recently I thought I had my sh!t together. I had never experienced anxiety until I started my new part time job 3 months ago. Que uncontrollable crying, dread, dizziness, heart palpitations and a general feeling of panic. It's affecting my relationships and my outlook on life. There's not much I look forward to at this point.

When I'm physically at work I do not feel any of the above yet when I walk out the doors at the end of the day the cycle begins again. 2 days 6 hours and 45 minutes until I'm back. I dread it. Perhaps it's the environment, I've gone from playschool, fairy bread and finger painting to corporate corporate corporate. Yes, minimal responsibility work wise but 0 conversion, minimal human contact and just an overall feeling of being out of place. I'm so terribly lonely. And I won't begin on my rock bottom confidence.

My question is... is this just life? Are we meant to suck it up and move forward? At what point should we accept "hating our job" as a new reality. Are you a quitter if you think "this just is not working for me".

help.

[Quercus]

Hi Renee2018 and welcome to the forums.

I had to reply. I know that countdown feeling all too well. Once I'm at work the masks are in place and I perform as required but the lead up anxiety feels utterly revolting. So no it's not just you and no it's not just part of life. It is anxiety speaking.

Returning to work after kids can be very difficult. You mentioned feeling lonely and having zero self confidence... Is this just at work or all the time? When you're at home or generally out do you feel ill like this?

I would like to write more to help you but it would help to know a little more about how you feel outside of work if that is alright to ask. Is your anxiety solely work related I suppose is what I'm asking.

I look forward to talking more to you. Us Mums have got to look after eachother 😊 (I have a 3 and 4 year old and changed my job after kids too if you're wondering).

Feel free to join in on the forums wherever appeals to you. I'm really glad you've reached out for support.

Nat

[quirkywords]

Renee,

i too wellcoe the foruum.

Nat has given you a supportive answer.

itiss a long time I went to work after having children I remember those feelings well.

well done for sharing your story here. Many reading your post will relate to you.

quirky

[Renee2018]

Hello Nat

Thank you so much for the reply.

3 and 4 years old. Whoa fun times, I remember those years being the hardest and also the absolute sweetest. To go back and hold their little hands again.

Do you still feel that way at work? Do you think your anxiety is attached to that specific workplace?

I'm usually fine outside of work, the lack of confidence and the lonely feeling is solely work related. I'm unsure if it's the anxiety creating that feeling or it's because of the workplace environment, its very young and corporate, in the big city... So far far away from my world.

I just remembered for the past few years I've had drinking related anxiety. It took me probably 5 episodes to realise what they were. I would have a few drinks (I'm not a drinker anyway) and then wake up 2:00/3:00am unable to sleep, tossing, turning, worrying (but having absolutely no idea what I was worried about), the feeling of being unable to catch my breath. I took to Google to find out what it was, they call it "hangxiety".

I guess I've had an anxiety bomb there waiting to go off and this job has set it off.

Currently on the train on the way to work, tearing up and praying for 5pm to arrive quickly