speechless

[mandy6]

I think I have social anxiety. I have authority issues (is this a real thing or just a Grey's Anatomy thing?) when someone is my senior I can't have a conversation with them, I know exactly what I'm going to say, but i always back down last minute because I get really stressed. Also if someone says something that I know is wrong I can't correct them even if I know they would want to be corrected, because as I am about to open my mouth my whole body tenses up and I physically can't say anything. I have an irrational fear of looking stupid/ idiotic, I know that I am and that everyone already knows that I am so I wouldn't be revealing anything new at all. 

so does anyone have any tips on overcoming anxiety? Is there a way to learn how to talk to people, approach them? be able to ask others for help and help them when needed? 

thanks

[white knight]

Dear Mandy,

There is zero obligation to return any care to us here. Yes we are all sufferers of some form of mental illness and we have recovered (perhaps intermittently) enough to help others.  Firstly this is so fulfilling for us and secondly it also educates us more and more about others issues. Some of us cant continue all the time and we drop away to return when we are feeling better.

I've only been on here one month and I feel the care, the friendship etc. even though we are likely to never meet!! I have had a downer since coming on here but when I do I'm certain I'll get heaps of support.

As far as face to face I hear you. Expressions etc are harder to hide. Lack of confidence is a real challenge. Confidence comes from learning from ones mistakes and mistakes are hard to endure and the vicious cycle continues. Being judged by others is a problem for some of us- you arent alone Mandy. Often though those judges are not worthy nor qualified to judge- they just capitalise on what they see as your weakness- your illness and lack of confidence. It's wrong and stand clear of those types of people. I do now and it helps.

As for your comment about not being like your friend (the one that tells everyone about her problems and has depression) I fully understand that. People making concessions all the time for me because I'm 'mentally ill' isnt a nice feeling. Mind you, people not making concessions at all is worse IMO.  Many of my friends ostracize me because I act somewhat differently, am outspoken and I dont tow the normal invisible line of normal behaviour. So they blame me....pity...like 90% of the so called intelligent population they blame us for what we inherited or we grew up with rather than making allowances and feeling our hearts. Mentally ill persons (in my experience) have bigger hearts than any 'normal' people but it never compensates - that scale is out of whack.

We have posters here that write 50 or more posts in order to feel they have had enough guidance. It doesnt matter. If you feel comfortable then keep writing and answers will come and will help.  And thats what humanity is all about- helping others...in cyber space or not. Caring- one of the greatests gifts you can give.

Helping a stranger is a good deed.

[mandy6]

Hi WN

sometimes I draw inspirational quotes from people too though usually people who are a bit more hip like celebrities and harry potter.

I have run out of things to say. hmmm... since you seem to enjoy finding out useless facts about myself here goes, I think collecting things is more often than not really stupid. why would someone want 100s of spoons or stamps which can never be used???

anyway thanks for the advice.

[Neil_1]

Hi Mandy

Great to have you back here again and I really enjoy reading your posts - because you write interesting stuff - and just not accepting things, you question things.  I wish I did that more when I was younger - or even now.  But I digress - caring for strangers - well, I think as WK suggested, that's pretty much what this site IS all about.

Quick digress:  I was waiting with my daughter yesterday for our coffee and hot chocolate to be made - and I've got a chronically crook shoulder.  So I was and am in pain, and I was holding my elbow, to give some support to my shoulder.  A bloke walked past;  stopped and came back and asked "Mate, do you have a sore elbow?"  And to be honest, I was a bit taken aback, cause I'd never seen this fella before.  I told him, no I've got shoulder problems;  he asked why and then said, well take care and off he went.  So I guess this was someone - complete stranger coming forth and being genuinely caring for another person.

And Mandy, exactly what WK said with regard to are you expected to care for or respond to me.  Absolutely not - no obligation for anyone to respond to anyone else.

And your reasoning for what you write here and give information out about yourself is 100% correct and is what I believe that most of us on here follow.  Only give out as much information as you're willing to post.  There is no call for anyone to provide anything that they don't feel comfortable in doing - and hence why this site is so very well moderated as well - because if at any stage things are possibly written or taken a bit too far - these posts will be pulled.

You also make a very good point and potentially good enough to be it's OWN thread.  "Why can't I come here and post and receive advice, as opposed to having to tell it to my friends?"  And really, there's nothing stopping you to do this - and it's mostly what I do - I don't really use my friends as 'sounding boards' at all.  I have my psyches for that - but apart from that, I use this site  and you know, it's very good cause the amount of knowledge and experience on here can just about take care of so many issues and situations.

ps:  for the record, I collect stubby holders.  Have a huge amount of them - the sad thing is, I can only ever use "one at a time".

Neil