Social Anxiety under cover

[thwaites]

Hi,

I have somehow hidden my social anxiety all of my life. I can appear quite comfortable socially when forced to interact with others, but I am secretly struggling. 
I feel like normal life is becoming more difficult and I’ve reached the point where I  decline most invitations - including from close friends.

thanks

[Sophie_M]

Hi thwaites,  Welcome to the forums and thank you for your bravery and openness in sharing here. It’s a really good place to have come to hear from others. We’re really sorry to hear you’ve been feeling anxious. We think sharing here is a great step towards feeling better.   If you want to talk through what you’re feeling at any time, the Beyond Blue Support Line is here for you 24/7 on 1300 22 4636, or online here. It’s ok to reach out when you’re feeling anxious or upset, they can talk you through some ways to find a bit of calm, and then help you to figure out some options for further support.  We’re sure we’ll hear from the lovely community soon, but in the meantime, here’s some strategies you might like to have a look at it. We understand you might have been through some of these in the past and it might feel like cold comfort right now, but they’re here in case they do pique your interest: 

• Another thread where the community have shared some strategies for managing anxiety 
• Beyond Blue Article: When your inner critic is giving you a tough time 

Thanks again for sharing. We’re here to listen and offer support, and you never know how your story might help someone else.  Kind regards,  Sophie M 

[Ggrand]

Hello Dear Thwaites,

A very warm and caring welcome to our forums,

I’m really sorry you’re struggling so much with your anxiety..I also have anxiety and found it very difficult to associate with people, just being around strangers is so hard, that I don’t go out unless it’s absolutely necessary…..In saying that since I’ve been on medication I am so much better able to manage my anxiety and to most times stop anxiety attacks from happening to much…I did have some counselling as well which also helped me to learn some coping strategies…

I think when anxiety starts to have an impact on our daily lives, then it’s time to maybe reach out to your Dr. to get some professional help through the mental health care plan, that he/she can set up for you….Is reaching out to your Dr. something you might consider…

Sophie has given you some great contact numbers if you feel overwhelmed at any time…also the treads Sophie mentioned are full of great suggestions from community members…who are or have struggled with anxiety….

Here if you want to chat some more,

My kindest thoughts with my care Dear thwaites,

Grandy..

[therising]

Hi thwaites

Wondering if you've been able to identify some of the triggers for your social anxiety. I think while some triggers can be obvious, some can be so far outside the square to the point where maybe they've never been considered. Once considered, it can become a matter of 'No wonder I struggle or stress so much. It all makes sense'.

While I think of a couple of my obvious triggers for social anxiety such as a lack of confidence or social skills that involve being able to manage a variety of different social challenges, a handful of reasons that have revealed themselves lately (finally at the age of 52) include

• a sensitivity to sound in certain environments, triggering my nervous system
• a heightened sensitivity to the nature of certain people (especially those who do not make life easy, enjoyable or relaxing in social situations)
• not being able to hear people easily over a lot of background noise. While my hearing is fine, when there's a lot of noise going on, everyone else seems to be able to hear just fine except for me. It stresses me when I can't hear people clearly when they're having a conversation with me
• I'm a natural introvert and quite happy to be one. As an introvert, I'm definitely tested in social situations, especially large ones such as funtions
• I can't manage small talk all that well, therefor meeting new people can be a major challenge. You know all that kind of stuff like 'What have you been up to? What do you do for a living?' etc etc. Mind you, if I met someone for the first time who went straight for an opening conversation about elements of human nature or some form of philosophy, bamm, easy peasy, I'd be up for a great chat. I'm a quirky gal 🙂

Is it possible you're facing a combination of stressors at certain times?

[sbella02]

Thwaites,

Thank you for posting here, we're happy to hear from you. Social anxiety can appear in different forms and at different intensities, and it's good that you've been able to recognise that this is something you do struggle with.

As others have asked, are there times where you notice that you feel it more than others? Is it when you're conversing with others, or sitting and listening? Is it before you go out, or during the time that you're out somewhere? This may also help you identify where your anxiety may be coming from.

I'd also recommend, if you haven't already, discussing this with a GP, therapist, or psychologist. It may be useful to have some professional advice and insight into how you may be able to manage your social anxiety so that it doesn't impact you as much.

Take care, and we'd love to hear more from you.

SB