Social Anxiety Disorder

Maryelle · ‎29-06-2018

Hello, I am feeling very down about my social anxiety and the fact that it is stopping me from getting anywhere in life and also stopping me from getting a job. My social anxiety has caused me to have cranial sweating, which basically means that when I talk to people or am with people I sweat. Thankfully I found medication for that and so far it is under control. I long for connection with people and would really love a job. I have no friends although I am married and have children. My oldest asked me recently about why I am different to the other mums and why don't I talk to other people. I didn't know how to answer that and fell apart. I have been a stay at home mum for 11 years now and in that time I have studied (2 degrees) and at the beginning of this year I started applying for positions that I thought I could do and was qualified for. I have applied for 16 positions and have had 4 interviews in that time but still no job. I ask for feedback to see where I can improve, because this is something that I really want and need for our family, and all I get is "you interviewed well but have no experience". I'm starting to feel really low and am not sure if I have chosen the right career path and my social anxiety is at a peak now because of it. All I want to do is lay in bed and all I wish is for someone to give me an opportunity. I am starting to feel worthless.

Leash01 · ‎29-06-2018

I also feel like I have social anxiety and it sucks. Maybe start off first in a small job not putting such a strain on wanting to achieve the highest. I feel also that I am a strain on my kids and think that I disappoint them as I don’t wish to hang around with other parents or other people. I choose not to go to social events with my husband as it really freaks me out and just can’t deal with it. I work full time and really struggle sometimes getting to work. I am going to try yoga apparently it will take 6 months to feel results but Hurd it’s great. I think staying at home with probably make it harder for u. Set your self something to do each day. It’s great to know I am not the only one that feels like this though. So many times I have cried my self to sleep feeling like I am a disappointment and that I am just not good enough for anything.

Summer Rose · ‎30-06-2018

Hi Maryelle

Welcome to bb and thank you for sharing your story. Please know that you have arrived at a place of non-judgemental support and that there are many people here who understand what you are going through and want to support you.

I am sorry that you are feeling unwell and struggling with social anxiety. I think it's great that you have found medication to help manage the physical symptoms but am wondering if you have sought help for the anxiety itself. Anxiety is common and with the right treatment most people recover. If you haven't done so already, consider booking a double appointment with your GP to talk through your situation. There is psych help available. Life gets better.

I hear you about your "mother guilt". You are not alone. I am also a mum and I am also human. I'm not perfect and I make mistakes. I am not always the mum my kids wish they had. I am told I am loud, sometimes embarrassing and a tad overprotective. But that's okay. I know that I do the best I can each and everyday within my means and abilities and that's all anyone can do. I love my kids and they love me--I imagine just like the situation in your home. You hold your kids tight and remember you are doing your best.

Congratulations on your study achievements! That wouldn't have been easy with a family to look after and a mental health condition. Well done to you. Seems like you just need a break--someone willing to let you in the door to gather the experience you need. Keep trying. Consider related volunteer work to pad your resume. Consider talking to a career adviser. You obviously have the intelligence and qualification to make a contribution and I believe you will get there in time.

Kind thoughts to you

Lalaleelu · ‎01-07-2018

Hi Maryelle,

Welcome to the forum. I want to thank you for sharing your experience because it helps me to feel less alone. I have also struggled with social anxiety throughout my life.

It sounds like you have been doing an amazing job in getting all of those applications in, you're obviously very committed and that is a great thing. I have experienced similar times in the past when I have been applying for jobs but not getting the role. It can make you feel really unwanted. But I'm sure that with persistence you will get there. And once you do, you will be in a position to connect with others and build some new relationships. I find that working as part of a team is a great way to boost your confidence and overcome social anxiety.

Best of luck with your job search. I'm rooting for you!

Alice