Sick of my mind racing!

[Captain_f]

I've got a beautiful girlfriend, great mates, great family and just recently got myself an apprenticeship. I've got all these great things in my life and my mind starts to come up with a way to ruin them all with unwanted thoughts which I believe and convince myself to the point where I think they are real! Intrusive thoughts that I have are I'm a violent person and fear of hurting others, being a pedophile, being gay, question if I like my friends, questioning if I love my girlfriend and many more. All of these things aren't true and I know there not but my mind won't stop racing and comes up with so many unrealistic things but because I play it out in my head 24/7, they're hard to deal with and I think they are so real. I feel like I'm losing the plot and fear that I won't be able to have a good life without worrying a about silly stuff. I get a break from it every now and then but then my mind comes up with a new way to scare me and I'll obsess over that for a while! I'm seeing a psychologist now and I'm currently taking medication however by taking this meds I feel like I'm completely numb and have no emotion. I just want this to stop so I can start living because I'm losing enjoyment out of life with my mind constantly racing all of the time. 

[Doolhof]

Hi Captain_f,

Thanks for sharing your thoughts with us. Sometimes it can be difficult to train the mind to think differently. I too have a mind that can go a hundred miles an hour in a very negative way!

Hopefully the psychologist is helping you. It helps me to keep on practising the suggestions and strategies that my counsellor gives me.

For me, just recognising that the thoughts are just that "thoughts" and not the truth helps me at times. It is not always easy to convince myself of this when I have managed to get myself all worked up over something!

You have mentioned lots of positives in your post. Hopefully you will be able to focus on those more often and tell yourself the intrusive thoughts are not factual.

Maybe each day you could think about three tings that have been worthwhile or that you are thankful for.

Being grateful certainly helps me.

Hope some of this has made sense to you!

Cheers for now from Mrs. Dools or Lauren

[joeljoel]

I understand where you are coming from. I too are often consumed with ridiculous thoughts that seem so real yet are so far from reality. 

What I have found is very helpful (and this isn't for everyone) is meditation. It is an excellent way of clearing and cleansing the mind from these annoying thoughts that make  it race with thousands of thoughts a second. 

Hope this helps! Best of luck man

[Mazing]

Hi captain

try talking to your GP also, you mentioned the meds you take leave you feeling very numb. There may be others your doctor can try that will work better for you. First option doesnt always work it can sometimes take a bit of trial and error to get it right. But persevere because when you find the right meds you may feel a lot better. 

Good luck.

[Gerinse24]

Captain_F,

G'day mate I hope you don't mind me intruding!
I too suffer from the wondering mind and sometimes it can really bring you down can't it?

Life is a ponderous thing is it not? Sometimes those things you ponder haunt you and I absolutely understand that. Resolve is a hard thing to muster up, but everyone of us has it. You have the resolve to want to change things for yourself to be happier in life and that is the first step.

I see that you go to a Psychologist and are on Medication, I myself am on medication and feel like some days it really isn't doing anything I feel nothing. Consider your mental state as a battle of the minds, you are debating back and forth, back and forth, you don't know what is right and what is right or how to feel.

Key is to not panic. If your medication makes you feel numb, switch it up. Anti-Depressants/Anxiety are split up into categories, meaning that one type might work and might not. Like Mazing said, T 'n' E.

Focus NOT on what you feel is wrong, focus on what you KNOW is right. You may call me stupid, but just one positive thought a day can make a difference. Believe in you, not you from years ago, but the you now because he will be the one to guide you.

Keep your head up, chin high, straighten that back and believe in yourself. Not the negative you, the positive you, the you that wants change. Don't be afraid of people leaving, cause if they love you they never will.

Keep trying new medications and try to reduce stress. You are battling and I believe you can do it!

[MarkBt]

Thanks for sharing Captain_f. I have been on medication for a long time now for anxiety. I know how you feel about the whole emotionally numb sensation. I would describe mine more as a compressed range of emotions, I can feel happy to a point and it's clamped then I can feel depressed to a point and it feels like it ends short of getting depressed enough to start impacting on my daily life. To that end it works. 

 It kind of seems like knocking a few colours out of the rainbow. That is how I still feel, but those around me don't quite see it that way. I guess I have been able to be more free in some ways too. More involved and present, even though sometimes I can feel zombie like and in my own thoughts. The racing mind as you say. 

 In my case the racing mind is not stopped but tamed and re-directed to more useful thoughts and used constructively.

 I also had to go through a couple of meds before I got one that kept me feeling stable. It is a fine balance.

[Captain_f]

Thank you for all of your responses! I'm still having troubles with my anxiety and was recently admitted to hospital. My mind still runs off a million miles an hour with the same negative, not true, kind of stuff that leads to panic attacks which also cost me my job. My main support is my girlfriend who I love very dearly but my anxiety is questioning my love for her and tells me that I don't. It gets me so worked up and emotional that just recently I had thoughts of giving up which is why I was admitted to hospital! I'm on new medication now and doing all the things that have been suggested by my doctor so I'm really hoping this is the break through!! 

[Jay_Ro]

I know how you feel. 

I have the same issues. 

My mind doesn't question my love for my boyfriend but more questions "am I worthy - hes so supportive and I'm dragging him down" kind of thing. 

I don't have any advise like the people above but sometimes it just helps to know youre not alone in your thoughts. 

I hope you find the answers you need to get better. 

[cam117]

Heya mate. Look im not a doctor but i know what this is like. Endless turning negative thoughts to the point they feel like nightmares. Im just gonna say, ditch the meds, theyre just gonna mess you up in another department in the end, and, from my experience of a psychologists, ditch him too. Just find those things that distract your mind. I found rock climbing to be great, kicking in those survival instincts puts your focus on one thing. It works so well. Eventually you realise these thoughts are just bad habits and as with any habit you can retrain yourself. Just learn to be distracted by whats around you presently. And appreciate that 🙂 good luck bro!!