Severe anxiety

[Bulletin_Board_Archive]

Originally posted by: Mahtab on 5 February 2013

I am a 25 year old psychology student that cannot get rid of constant negative thoughts & continuing panic attacks. I work in a bank as a teller and every day is a struggle to get up and get dressed as I fear what the day has in store for me. Back in 2007 my parents split and it was a messy divorce resulting in me being stuck in the middle, then in 2010, I witnessed someone get murdered and since then my anxiety has increased immensely. I constantly feel something bad is going to happen, I'm scared of big crowds, I think sooo negatively to the point where I start suffocating and almost choking. When im in public, i get this feeling that im detached from my body and my throat starts closing up. I shake to the point where my jaw feels like its going to break in half. I have a phobia of being sick which is on my mind 24/7. I never have a proper nights sleep unless the night before I stay awake until early morning and tire myself, I'm waking up every night around same time 2,3am and I start panicking for no apparent reason. I'm so sick of being sick! There is always always always something wrong with me, either headache or I'm tired or fatigued or moody, and I'm losing the ones I love because I keep snapping at them. I just want to be panic free and live a happy life but the only way I can do that is if I live on medication for the rest of my life 😞 😞 😞

[Bulletin_Board_Archive]

Originally posted by: mahtab on 12 February 2013

Thank you David for your straight out response. I agree, if he loved me everything would be much easier wouldn't it? He doesn't. He leaves the room when I walk in. He doesn't consider me his child, let alone a human. In my culture, sons are more important than daughters. Or maybe it's just my Dad. Why do I feel the constant need to seek his approval when he does all of this to me? When he breaks me down and makes me feel like a horrible daughter when all I have ever done is try to make him happy and live a life where I am clearly miserable but trying to make others happy? I dont understand how people that cant conceive but would be amazing parents, dont get the privilege and then people like my dad who dont know how to care for their children, get them. I want to wring peoples necks who don't know how to be parents. Take the blessing of getting the gift of life!! argghhh You say that your father says I wish I spent more time with David, I mean why do they have to realise this so late? it aggravates me. why not when you are completely capable of having a good relationship with your children?? He gives all his attentiona and love to his new wife of 4 years. It really hurts. Anyhow, no problem at all David, I actually love Bollywood haha and It has been very good to be able to vent on Beyond Blue and be understood so thank you!! 🙂

[Bulletin_Board_Archive]

Originally posted by: David Charles on 13 February 2013

Dear Mahtab, My wife is from Bombay, Bollywood land. I'm always amazed that she is last in the pecking order but some Indian customs maintain that the first son is the one and will receive all the attention and all the finance. You could have 4 daughters and the youngest, a son, will get EVERYTHING. I"m not sure if the opposite of NO attention is worth having. Imagine getting SO much attention that your life is controlled, planned and generally taken over because mummy and daddy want to do it all for you. Your gunslinger side seat might be the best option in the long run. At least you get to call the shots. Adios, David. PS Thanks for the communication on the site - although I made the classic error of thinking you were male not female. Maybe I have Indian blood ? Ha ! But then in some Bollywood movies it's hard to tell the difference. Just saying.

[Bulletin_Board_Archive]

Originally posted by: Mahtab on 13 February 2013

Hi David, haha you thought I was male oh gosh that is hilarious, that really made me laugh thank you. Yeah you're right about the controlled part, but unfortunately I am a female and on top of that still controlled by my Dad. But I understand what you mean, thank you for your insightful advice, much appreciated, and your wife is Indian does that mean you are also obsessed with Bollywood movies like i am? You must love Shahrukhan then? Haha Bollywood movies make me happy 🙂

[myffy]

hi there mahtab hope u r ok just read this post and its like wow im not alone everything u r going thru ive been going thru for the past year 😞 i got really sick about an year ago and daughter broke her arm requiring surgery i think that is what tipped mine over i worry about everything the same as mahtab so reading all ur wonderful comments has made a huge difference know that there r ppl out there who care and know what its all about nothing worse then trying to explain it to someone who know nothing about it 

thanks guys 🙂