Sense of Impending Doom

[Birdy77]

Hello everyone.

I have been really struggling today, and I thought writing here might help.

What I am about to describe may sound weird, but it is a true feeling for me. I wondered if anyone else reading has experience of it?

Every now and then, I get this terrible sense of impending doom.

Like, everything, everything, is about to go horribly wrong.

I have realised that I have been having these feelings semi-frequently for the last few years.

A few years ago I experienced an intense trauma in my life, and I'm wondering now if there are triggers, like little, tiny things, that possibly happened before the trauma, that I am not necessarily conscious of, that again happen now, in my life, and set me off on this spiral of doom.

This morning, the feeling of impending doom had me thinking that the police were likely to turn up at my door and take me to prison.

My life is good.

I am safe.

In my house.

Consistently not committing crimes.

And yet ... occasionally this feeling that the world is conspiring against me and everything good is about to implode just takes over.

I understand that it's irrational, but there's something that sends me in a spiral, and anything simple can bring me back up that spiral as well, like a text from a friend, or something tiny like that. It brings me back to safety.

I just wanted to put this out there in case anyone else feels this way. I want you to know that you're not alone, and I thought I might feel some relief voicing this in a safe space.

I'm not really looking for advice or anything, just kind of wanted a place to talk about it, not just for me but for anyone who experiences this.

I feel so vulnerable.

I mentioned something similar to my dad once and he said it's because I have a guilty conscience.

🌻birdy

[Birdy77]

Hi Everyone,

Hi John P,

I am sure that most people can relate to engaging in escapism.

I reckon it's part of human nature, to seek some sort of pleasure or at seek out something to get at least a break from pain or distress, or stress, or anger, or boredom, or (insert a thousand other emotions).

We have so much entertainment or diversion or distraction available to us 24/7 now, and i agree, it has infiltrated the fibre of our society and definitely affects the way we think and function and our mental health.

I feel like, with everything at our fingertips, available on demand, it's like it takes away that space for just being bored, or just being quiet, or really feeling that emptiness inside us or ... whatever the feeling at the time may be. It gives us a way to deny the true feeling of the moment or something.

There is definitely a place for escapism, in my opinion - we do need some down time, we do need ways of boosting our mood, or just having a rest from our thoughts and worries - but it can also become a problem when we rely on it to get away from real life, and real feelings constantly.

I feel like the way we are bombarded with images and ideas constantly that make us think it's not ok to be bored, or restless or uncomfortable, sad, distressed, or just not quite ok. Images constantly showing how awesome and happy and amazing other's lives are? It's a myth. It's just a story that is being concocted and it leaves so many feeling less than and inadequate and lonely and it's no wonder escapism is a massive thing.

Maybe if it feels like a problem for you, it could be about breaking the habit, using a circuit breaker - like when next you feel the automatic response would be to start gaming or watch something on the screen, you could conscoously choose to do something different, like choose a playlist that will get you energised and pump the volume and lift some weights; or pop the music in your ears and go for a walk around the block? Or hop onto BB forums and post a comment to someone who is struggling. Something that breaks that automatic reaction that you feel is becoming an unhealthy habit?

Sounds pretty simplistic and boring solution, but worth a try?

Also maybe taking a moment to try to identify the underlying feeling when you reach for those escapes ... it might help to acknowledge the feeling ... it might be boredom, could be loneliness, restlessness, irritation, tiredness, sadness ... just acknowledging the feeling, giving some space to that feeling, having some compassion for it , and creatively come up woth some alternatives to accept and embrace that feeling? Because it needs to be felt, not run away from?

Just some thoughts.

What do you think?

[CMF]

Dear Birdy,

I understand. You have every right to feel angry. I.hope you find a resolution and don't have these awful feelings for too long.

Cmf x

[Birdy77]

Thanks so much Cmf for reading my rant and replying with understanding.

For anybody reading here, I just wanted to clarify something: to anyone popping by this thread it might seem as if i ignored the absolutely beautiful posts from the gorgeous Aunties Grandy and Deebi and beautiful Pepper written in July and August 2019 .... please know that i thanked each of these amazing people on their threads 12 months ago when these posts were made, and i am so grateful for the care and love given. ❤

It's been one year since I've written here, so i just wanted to clarify, for the record, that these very caring posts had not been ignored, just not replied to on this thread. Hoping🤞 that makes sense.

[Ggrand]

Hello sweet Birdy....

Escapism was/sometimes still is a powerful coping tool for me...When I need it..When I’m down and in tears, I try to ground myself by looking at my ornaments, select one and start to get my thoughts into a fantasy wold bringing them alive in my mind and go on short mindfulness journies into their era they are made into...

Boredom and overwhelming loneliness catches me many times..I feel without any motivation to do the things that need doing, or what we want to do..does in fact contribute to our boredom...then we start downing ourselves because we think we are useless and cannot do anything...which is so not true...Depression makes us unmotivated..

If we step back and look at the days we are having a break from the negativity depression brings us...We do, do the things that we need or want to do...Then we feel proud of our accomplishments....When Depression stops us from being motivated, we must be very gentle with ourselves and remember that this will pass...just be compassionate to you accept it and ride out the storm, until a rainbow appears in our lives...Then ride that rainbow like no one is around...

Loneliness is a terrible emotion to be feeling, and one that is so very hard to shake...The first people I spoke to after several months of me locking out the universe...Is right here on these forums, the care they showed in their words to me, made me cry....I was not used to such kindness towards me...Now Beyond Blue and the beautiful people here...are my family...my safe place to talk... rant, vent, cry, laugh, talk to strangers, and not be judged my how I feel or think..

Beyond Blue..can and still does take away take away my thoughts of impending doom...People like you Birdy soft, honest, compassionate, caring..Friends can be made, comfort can be found, That sense of doom can disappear for hours, days, weeks...just by being here, in bored, depressed, lonely and overwhelming times..

We are never alone, we are members of beautiful and caring community..where every one looks out for each other when we can....

My care and kind thoughts dear sweet Birdy and everyone..

Grandy..

[Peppermintbach]

Hi lovely friend (& a wave to all),

All good, lovely friend, we know that you weren’t “ignoring” us and that you replied to us elsewhere on the forums. Everything is okay in that respect 🙂

Thank you for sharing that beautiful, thoughtful post with your thoughts on escapism and learning to sit with feelings. It was a lovely post to read.

With love,

Pepper xoxox

[demonblaster]

Hi dear sweety Tweety 🐥 and all other lovelies ☺

Dear Tweety wow a yr since you posted here where does the time go.

Yes I too believe there's a strong need for escapism. I think we need to have a time out whether for the sake of or out of necessity to save the sanity. I don't see much harm in it if it's not hurting anyone.

Hi John 👋 Peppystar ☘ Grandy bbff 👩‍❤️‍👩 Cmf ☺ btw

Yes you always are appreciative of posts and reply here or elsewhere tweety love.

I know you've been doin it hard for some time lovely one. Sending you magic filled 🤗 anytime dear girl filled with love friendship an 👂👀and 💗 beautiful.

It's a pleasure being your Aunty Deebi sweetheart. You're a great feathered friend. Adore our little niece and for being such a sweety I'm leaving a bell with not only some of Peppys choccy 🍫 seeds also some orange 🍋 flavoured ones and a tiny wee wincy seed toothbrush only because it's so cute.

Also leaving a state of the art Puddy tat alarm...it shrills out at peak octaves...YES...I DID SEE A PUDDY TAT...that's when big boy Bruno 🐩 comes out chasing it off...I sayy woofy woofy..off you go now...evennn...uh oh that was Sylvester 🐺 oops 😶

Love you a lot Tweety 🤗😊🌹🕊

[John_P]

thank you.

circuit breakers are good, but its hard to constantly implement. But yes, i try this very often.

[Whatsinaname]

Hi everyone,

Firstly, I'd like to acknowledge I have read this thread few times as the connections you all have built on this forums is amazing and I'm truly jealous.

John P, the most common dostraction people tell me is exercise. Seems so simple but getting youre heart rate up can help with a lot of issues.

[quirkywords]

Whatsinatime, everyone is welcome on all threads.

I know it can seem a bit daunting when there are strong connections and it seems everyone know everyone esle but I can assure you everyone is welcome here so join in when you want to.

Grandy I find escapism /distraction so helpful as a coping tool too, especially this year.

[startingnew]

Hi Birdy,

Just wanted to stop in and say hello

🤍💚💙