Seeking support with anxiety

[Chinch]

Hi Everyone

i'm new to this and am seeking some support with anxiety. I've had panic attacks before when I was in my early 20s and am scared they're coming back.... My Mum was diagnosed with cancer in December and is undergoing treatment. It's put a lot of stress on me as you can imagine and i'm starting to have anxiety symptoms: heart racing, in my head a lot, crying a lot, irritable and drinking to escape. Of course I hide this from Mum which is easier now i live in another city with my partner. We travel to see her every second weekend and this is putting a strain on my relationship with my partner as well. He didn't react well at the beginning but now is being supportive and encouraging.

We all have masks we show our boss, our parents, our friends etc but the truth is the person you're intimate with sees it all. I feel guilty of depending on him too much as we all have our own daily problems and i'm probably just burdening him with more. I know i've gone in head-first with this introduction and am seeking some others to discuss with tips or suggestions.

My work life is going well and have a supportive manager and colleague, although somedays i really don't want to go to work and need a break from "life" to hide at home. I'm normally like that - usually I'm bubbly and embrace life and plans travels and outings with gusto. Also doesn't help that I'm in a new city (here almost 2 and half years) and my normal support network is in the city I grew up in. My partner and I are also struggling with settling and making friends outside of work.

anyway - thanks to whoever read this and just a "Hi" back would be nice,

Chinch

[Chilli621]

Dear Chinch

I am sorry to hear about your mum's cancer.  I completely understand how you feel having experienced a similar situation in my own family.  I have not been using the Beyond Blue online forums for long, but all on it seem to care.  Perhaps think of these people as your support network in the short term, as you say you have moved away from your usual support system.

I am glad your partner has come around and is giving you more support.  Unfortunately constant demands of travel, work and establishing friendship groups, etc can put a strain on a relationship.  Always try to keep lines of communication open, and if possible take just a little time to try and have a laugh with your partner. As hard as that can be at times like this, I have found for me and my husband, that temporary relief ( just a good laugh at anything) can keep you together and help relieve the tension.

Thinking of you. 

Chilli

[Chinch]

Hi Chilli

thanks for your advice. It's good to share stories and hear from other's experiences. Good to hear you have received support as well from this forum.  Reaching out and admitting I'm not coping is never easy. I guess this is a first step to admitting I need help

Thanks again

[geoff]

dear Chinch, first of all I'II like to say hi, but most of all thanks for joining us and this goes to Chilli as well.

People who have cancer and I'm so sorry that here we are talking about your mum, seem to be consumed by this horrible disease, it's different to depression but has the same effect, but with cancer you can see your mum physically deteriorate and this is an awful experience to go through.

Are you able to talk to your mum on skype or even an iphone which could mean that you travel down to see her once a month, and I only say this because when you see her fade away to nothing and you yourself have depression, then this seems to increase your depression by doubling it.

I know that you love your mum, but there could be a chance that she may not want anyone to see her deteriorate so quickly.

I am also very concerned about yourself now and believe that you should be seeking professional help now and for the future. L Geoff. x

[Chinch]

Hi Geoff

Yes I do use skype for the weekends I don't visit and speak to Mum everyday with just normal phone - this way I feel I'm in touch with her most of the time. thanks for that though. It helps to see each other rather than voice only.

I have booked a counselling session with my partner and will re-start anti-depressants to manage the mood swings.

Thanks for taking the time to write to me

Chinch

[geoff]

dear Chinch, point taken that by seeing her is much better where you can touch and kiss her of which both of you would love.

Can I ask about the counselling sessions is it like a marriage counselling or is it for just the individual, but if he is happy to go to with you then that's a good thing.

You can tell from your photo that you are a 'bubbly and embrace life' type person so I hope that you keep us in touch or better still stay with us. L Geoff. x

[Chinch]

Hi Geoff

thanks for writing to me.

yes the counselling is for couples. we're not married. he has his own issues as well...  who doesn't? so the idea is we sort out a few things.

thanks for the compliment on the photo. who's the puppy in your photo?

Chinch

[Neil_1]

Hi Chinch

Welcome to Beyond Blue and may I say well done on not only posting your original one, but also for being so nice in being able to respond back a few times as well.  It’s also great that Chilli and Geoff have both reached out to you … I think you’ll fast learn that this site is full of wonderful caring people who not only want to share their experience by offering really helpful advice but also they are able to offer support as well – support is a huge thing which often times, people just can’t seem to find it when needed where they live.  We provide it here by the bucket load!  🙂

It sounds like you’re really doing some great positives for yourself – counselling sessions (for both you and your partner – really good to help get things under control and also from what I can make out, this is only early in any sorts of troubles for you and your partner, so huge kudos to you for tackling this early before things snowball), you’re on medications and also the other excellent positive was that you came here to reach out.

May I ask that in the city where you grew up, and the support networks you had existing there, were they mostly based on ‘longevity’, as in they were built up by people who you knew over a long period of time?  Or were there others that may have been built due to some hobby or sporting activity that you or your partner played or did?  I ask this because if it was part of the latter, then is there a possibility that you could develop similar friendships with others in this new city courtesy of any hobbies or sporting interests that you may have?  I’m assuming that you both work as well … are there any people who you are developing a bit of a bond with?   Just some thoughts on the support networks side of things for you.

I’m also sorry to hear about your Mum … my Mum has been fighting with bone cancer for some 5 years now.  I hope that your mum is a fighter like my mum is. 🙂

 Kind regards

Neil

[C_Frank_]

Hey Chinch and all!
Not just other supportive folk here but other new folk here too (first post right here 🙂 ) Here's hoping we all find what we're looking for. (New forums/boards always take a little time to get the feel of I guess)