Scared to death, OF DEATH.

[Chin_Up]

To all the fellow sufferers of anxiety,

Ever since I was a young child I have suffered from an extreme phobia of death. If I so much as think about it, I will have hot flushes and feel faint. My mind cannot fathom the thought of being here on earth, creating all of these loving relationships and then having it all erased. 

I'm not a religious person, so I don't have the comfort of saying to people 'see you on the other side' When for me, I have yet to experience any proof of this so called eternal life.

I believe this fear is a large reason for my anxious and depressive personality. 

Does anybody have any feedback on there thoughts, feelings and fears of death.. I think I just need to talk about it.

Hugs to all,

ChinUp.

[Vegetarian Marshmallow]

I've never reaaally had a *fear* of death.  I could *conceive of* that fear creeping up on me as I get older, or if I develop some terminal illness, or if someone starts chasing me around with a knife all the time.  But for now I'm content to think that when I die, I won't actually be *able* to care that I'm dead.  I don't believe in an afterlife.

My survivors can mourn me in their own ways, remember me in their own ways, and then they, too, will die, and all evidence I was ever here (except tax records) will be gone.  And that will be fine, because I and my loved ones won't have intact brains, and won't have the ability to care.

I did once worry a little when I was on a plane.  Not of death, per se.  I'm fine with planes, and I thought there was exactly 0% chance I would die on this one.  But I was reminded of the stereotype of people being afraid to fly, which got me thinking about death.  And then I got to thinking about this girl I was quite enamoured of, and I got quite sad at the fact that if I died, I'd no longer be able to talk to her.  And then I put in my earphones and rocked out to intense doom-metal/avant-garde/chamber/ambient stuff, to the touch- and sight-track of turbulence over the lightning-caressed midnight ocean.

[Mel_D_1978]

 I think its natural to be frightened by your own demise. I believe in life after death(no religion) so I find comfort in that. I swing from being frightened to the extreme that you described and inviting death. I think inviting death is an unnatural state of mind. So I think you being frightened is probably healthy. Think about all the time you have wasted on worrying and thinking about death, when you could be using that time living and enjoying the time you have.

[S_A_D_]

Thanks ChinUp for reaching out to this community for help. I am an atheist with depression, stress, anxiety, and rage. I try every day to look at the world in a rational way. I frequently fail. When I fail, I try to find the humour in the absurd lack of rational thinking. I often fail at this too, but every bit helps get me through the day. Hence my name Facetious. 

You have provided a good foundation of context which we can use to converse, however I have insufficient information to answer your question. Can you please provide between 1 sentence and 2 short paragraphs, each, on what you think/believe/predict happens to a person when they die, and how you predict you will react when someone you know dies?

If you don't respond, I hope considering how you might answer these questions has been therapeutic. 

[Vegetarian Marshmallow]

It may be of some comfort to consider the holistic view that, even though *you're* dead, your "faction" - the universe - keeps going.  Babies will continue to be born, cry for their mothers, eat pureed gingerbread (is that a thing babies do?), swing on swings and in jazz halls.  Ladies will continue to wear frilly dresses while riding around the city malls on their great danes.  Rabbits will continue to bounce around, keeping the ant people downtrodden.  The wind will blow, the sun will shine, and most things will be just sublime.  And even when the sun finally throws it in and goes to that great vacuum in the meta-sky, the rest of the billions of stars will continue on, flickering mockingly.  "Ha, ha, you're dead" they will say in the celestial version of morse code, probably.

[worriedrachael]

I am exactly the same!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

Ever since I was very little I would get very upset and worry that the people I love, I might never see again.I am working through all that at the moment as its at the core of my anxiety. I dont have a set religion my have started exploring all types of views and belifes which helps me allot. So i suggest to you(apart from speaking to someone who knows how to treat phobias) start researching other religions all kinds...

xxx

[The_Real_David_Charles]

Dear Chin Up,

Keep your chin up.    One of the reasons seems to be that death, any kind of death related to your friends or family, is an echo of other deaths.  So, sometimes we feel it stronger.  Or we a true Aussies and say "Lucky bastard" !

Why worry about something we have very little control over like death.  Maybe life is worth a go sometimes too ?  Unless your a matyr or suicidal bomber.

I loved Rodentdron's comment - even though you're dead the universe keeps going, bouncy rabbits and down trodden ants and all.  Maybe the real fear of death is that some nasty people who have controlled others all their lives still seem to exert an undue influence.  But then Christians use the positive spin of this when they ask "What would Jesus have done ?" in tricky situations like discovering that the barnyard building in Armish Communities could have been done before the storm if electric tools had been used or even when running out of toilet paper after a particularly fierce Indian Hot Curry.

Adios, David.

[Bec1994]

Hey, 

I have felt the same way since I was first introduced to the idea of death. It was worse when I was younger, I would think about it and it didnt matter where I was it would bring me to tears, thinking that I wouldnt exist anymore, or that I wouldnt be able to breath or think, If i thought about it at night I wouldnt be able to sleep because I would lay there and make sure that I was still breathing. 

Now that Im a little older it still scares me, but as I have way to many other things that trigger my anxiety I try not to think about, I'm the same with not being religious, but it doesnt stop me from secretly hoping that all of it is true and that there is an afterlife, which if there isnt it is true, we wont exist so we wont be able to care about it. I think when your younger its harder to accept death, for me (being 18) I think about all the stuff I havnt done yet and all the people that I love thta i would leave behind, but as you get older you get to complete all those things you want to do in life, and the thought of dealth will get easier, as long as you life a fulfilling life you should have no reason to fear death. 

One thing I have done that Has helped is I made a bucket list, of all the stupid and fun shit I want to do with my life before I die, as far as im concerned these days im not going to die until after I complete every single thing on my list. 

best thing to do is to try not to think about it and to be more concerned about living each day to the best that you can, and to take every opportunity you get, no matter how crazy it may be!!  

[Blackecho]

Hey Peoples...

Couple of years ago I had throat surgery ...anyway couple weeks later woke up at 4 am thinking I was dribbling saliva...wiped my mouth....and rolled over....anyway felt it again..wiped it again then decided to turn light on.....pillows and sheets covered in blood...terrified I rang the ambulance..they took me to emergency...they managed to stop it....but it came back....they left me sitting there bleeding. I felt it  going down to the back of my throat but the nurses said....no just as long as you lean forward. Two hours later I was rushed into resus...and then surgery. I remember feeling this was it ....I was a on my way out.    Since then ...... contemplated death a lot and as I am not overly religious ....and I am the same ..... hate the idea that when lights out...there is nothing.   Some how though... I look at nature...the amazing world...space....the wonders we surround ....and the love......makes me think...ahhh nah there is something more.....

[danrose]

Hi everyone,it's nice to read what everyone else is going through,i wont bore you with all my details but want to share a little bit of what im going through hoping it will help,my anxiety started about 20 odd years ago with panic attacks after a disasterous relationship,the panic attacks subsided but left me with anxiety and the fear that something is about to happen that will end my life,some days are good some not.It can be something like a pain in my jaw like a toothache and my brain goes into overdrive that i'm going to die and then it takes a long time to for me to quiet my brain down that nothing is wrong.I have an appointment with a doctor next week as I realy don't want to go through another 20 years of this,i'm lucky in a sense as i'm not as bad as it used to be,anyway it's nice to talk,my wife is very supportive but I hope it helps me to talk to fellow sufferers,thanks for listening.