Right Back where I started

[michc04]

Hi all,

i really felt like I had made some great progress this week with getting my panic attacks and anxiety to a somewhat manageable level but had a very bad episode on Friday even after having dinner and movie plans which I usually really enjoy doing and now again on Saturday morning.

i feel like I’m back to square one again just as things where starting to look up.

im very new to feeling this way (and at this level) so it’s been very disheartening and I’m struggling to get myself off the couch today.

i just want to get better and live my life again. I know it’s a process but could use even a little bit of relief from the symptoms to let me know there is hope.

[JessF]

Hello Michc04, I think it can be helpful sometimes to reset our expectations with recovery. Sometimes it will feel like one step forward and two steps backward. It can often be hard to see how much progress we're making over the long term too as we're so focused on how good or terrible we feel in the moment.

Just because you've had a few bad days, it doesn't erase the great progress you've made this week. Today is a bad day, but tomorrow there is another and that's an opportunity for a fresh start.

[Blue_Jane]

Hi Mich

Thanks for taking the time to share what is going on with you.

Well done on getting your anxiety/panic attacks to a manageable level however with mental health it is an ongoing illness and we are going to have moments where things go backwards.

Please don't be disheartened! You will get yourself back to where you were before - what strategies do you use to manage your anxiety and panic attacks?

How long have you been experiencing mental health issues? Have you been to the GP recently?

Blue Jane

[romantic_thi3f]

Hi michc04,

Thanks for your post.

I can echo the others in that you are most definitely not right back where you started. I'm sorry that you had a bad episode on Friday but it doesn't discount all the hard work that you've done and all the techniques and strategies that you've used so far.

I can understand that it can be really disheartening to suddenly have one; feeling like it's back to square one, but know that sometimes relapses or fall-back's can happen. I have had anxiety for years and am managing quite well but every now and then I still have super bad days or panic attacks. It doesn't mean I'm not coping or back to square one; just that I had a bad day.

I understand that you're quite new to feeling this way; I think that over time and in hindsight you might be able to see how all of a sudden Friday wasn't so good. In the meantime though I encourage you to keep going with what's been working for you and give yourself a little kindness as you recover from it.

Hope this helps,

[michc04]

Hi all,

thank you for your responses. I feel really grateful to have this community to voice my feelings and get feedback from others (giving my family a break)

i has a really great day yesterday but again had some social plans today that I was scared I would have anxious or panic attacks so of course I did.

Not being able to pinpoint what caused these servere panic attacks and anxiety is what bothers me the most I think. I had a lot of trouble with sleep which was becoming and problem I was seeing my GP about which in turn has led to this issue perhaps?

i have been seeing a psychologist as well as a workplace councillor and in the last two days I decided to fill a medication script my GP gave me for anxiety/depression. I really didn’t want to take medication as I had some bad reactions to anti depressants in high school (12 years ago) but feel I needed something to help give me a boost and still use my methods such as cbt and mindfulness. I am realistic and know this won’t be the solution to all my issues but am hoping it can at least help me along.

does anyone have any tips for what gets them through the really bad days? I get to a point where I can’t reason with myself anymore and find it hard brining myself back down again.

Again thank you all for responding to me it really means a lot

Michael

[Blue_Jane]

Hi Michael

I remember trying to pinpoint what brought on my worst episodes but with my psychologist at the time I learnt to let it go. Because often there is not a reason. Our mental health sometimes has a mind of its own and even when you are having a great period and everything is ticking along it can come along and wipe us out for a bit.

To answer your question, when I have bad days I use a breathing technique to calm me down. I also break the day down into manageable chunks and move the non urgent things to tomorrow. I try not to be too hard on myself and just focus on eating well and getting through the day. Plus I tell my husband so that he can be extra supportive.

Hope this helps a bit!

Blue Jane

[michc04]

Hi Blue Jane.

I think you've touched on my biggest problem and that is not letting go and trying to search for why this is happening and why me etc when i should just accept that it is here for now and that i have to take it day to day to help myself recover.

I had a really good night last night out for dinner. It was an event i was really worried about how i would react and was scared of seeming withdrawn etc. While those feelings were there i found i was able to just accept and not let it get in the way of having conversations and a few laughs.

Manageale chunks is a good option for me as i have a bad habbit of trying to predict the future and what date this will all be gone by instead of just trying to deal with it each hour each day.

Thanks for your post again and if anyone else has any other tips for the bad days id love to hear them.

[romantic_thi3f]

Hi michc04,

Thanks for your post and it's great to hear from you again. I'm really glad to hear that you've got a bit of a team on board with you; with your GP, psychologist and workplace counsellor. I hope that they are giving you lots of support as well!

So I've had a bit of a think and these are some of some tips that might help -

• Remind yourself that you do have some good strategies up your sleeve. Managing anxiety is a practice. It's not something that we can do overnight. Never ever underestimate the power of just being with your breath. It's a skill you will level up in.
• Balance it out. They'll be days where you push yourself to be uncomfortable (like going to a social event) and they'll be days where you want to lie on the couch. Both of these days are good and okay. Sometimes lying on the couch is just what we need to do to cope.
• Get something done. This is especially important for me because I feel the need to be always busy, so even on my worst days I try and set one goal. Doesn't matter how big or small it is; but that sense of achievement is super important, even if nothing else gets done for the rest of the day.
• Compassion compassion compassion. What sorts of things might you say to a friend if they were going through the same thing? We are all our worst enemies.
• Ask for help. What would make your day easier? What do you need right now? What does your bad day look like? These are the things you can chat with your psychologist or counsellor about.
• Anxiety box! People can have these for trauma as well. Whenever our bodies go through panic attacks we can get so exhausted; so having a little go-to care package can be incredibly sweet and a present to us from us! Perhaps a nice perfume or scented oil, candles, hand/body creams, colouring books, cards, photographs.. the ideas are endless! Ultimately it's anything that can make you feel a little bit better.

Also this; one of my favourites. It's by an artist Gemma Correll who has anxiety as well. It's her stickers for adults - https://i.pinimg.com/564x/f1/25/27/f12527adb2d6195db332328460acaa80.jpg

[Croix]

Dear Mich04~
I’m answering your other thread about panic attacks and jet lag which I saw recently. I’m responding here as this is your longest thread with the most information.

It has been a while since you posted and you have had to wait. This is a pity but happens in the Forum sometimes. It’s no reflection on you or your topic.

I think you said your severe panic attacks started in September, or thereabouts, and you’ve talked to your GP and psychologies about handling them while you are away. Unfortunately they are pretty overwhelming now, so bad that you did contemplate coming home.

I’ve been in a similar situation, though not always waking up with them, they could come anytime. All I can do is tell you how I’ve coped.

I found having my partner with me was a blessing.

The first and most important thing for me was to realize it was a panic attack –and not a heart attack or similar. This took some convincing and lots of tests, but I came to accept it in the end.

The next thing was to be aware it was an overblown inappropriate flight-or-fight reaction to stress and that I was going to get though it – which I always did.

I would practice my deep-breathing, in through the nose slowly for a count of 4, hold for 7, then out though the mouth very slowly for a count of 8. This restores an oxygen imbalance and actually has a calming effect.

Being stubborn is good, if you have a task on hand, even something simple like tidying up, then try as best you can to keep going with it. I’ve even tried to tell jokes – improbable as that sounds.

A handy aid I’ll mention is Smiling Mind, a free smartphone app. It takes practice but is excellent for taking the mind out of a thought pattern that leads up to an attack. It took me a while to master but is well worth the trouble.

I hope there is something here that might help a little. I guess for me the most important thing is to ‘try’ to resist being afraid –well I did say try:)

Please let us know how you get on

Croix

[michc04]

Hi All,
I havent posted in a long time and its been a long journey since i first started having panic attacks and anxiety about 7 months ago.
Just a bit of background - i had never suffered from anxiety or panic attacks in the past outside of just every day anxiety and overthinking.
i have recovered to a degree in the last 8 months but its been a long road of trying medication to help with the problem, coming off that medication and then going on another medication only to stop again as it just wasnt something i wanted to be on.
I have got to the point where i have accepted my anxiety and panic and view it as a way of my body releasing these emotions that have built up and i no longer try to do things to avoid these feelings at all cost. I have found it hard as i have developed some depression or at least depressed feelings from this whole experience i seem to be either neutral or sad and i am finding it very hard to happy or excited about anything. i know it will take time for me to heal but its hard as before all this while i wasnt a jump out of my skin positive and happy person i certainly had interests (music, travel, movies) that gave me pleasure which just dont at the moment.
I know i have to keep going and doing what im doing at the moment and let myself heal but i just find it hard, especially when i have a really bad day and it feels like i have to start the process all over again.
I guess the hardest thing for me has been the physical sensations - headaches all the time, shakiness, dizzy and the worst of them all has been constantly feeling like i'm on the verge of tears for no reason.
Would just love to hear from anyone who has been through this and come out the other side and might be starting to feel like themselves again as i know there is no "cure" but i feel like im almost there as far turning this all around goes.

Michael