Resigned from job due to return of anxiety

[sax_11]

Hello, I recently resigned from my job of 18 months due to my anxiety raising its ugly head from the stress that was placed on me in this job. I was completely burnt out in September last year and had a minor breakdown. I probably should have quit then and there but I managed to pick myself up and carry on. Now I've got to February and I've had to see my doctor a couple of times since the start of the year due to issues with my health, all of which have been put down to stress/anxiety. Plus it is now affecting my home life. This made me decide to leave my job.  My family tells me to take some time and get mentally well before jumping back into work. Has anyone else been in a similar situation? Any help/advice would be appreciated. Thanks.

[sax_11]

Hello HS,

Thankfully I can answer yes to both your questions, so that is one less thing to stress about. But I am scared and possibly over-thinking that I will never get another job even though I don't plan to be off work for very long for my skills to become outdated.

Either way it's a challenging time and I do appreciate your support and advice.

Thanks, take care xx

[sax_11]

Hello Lyn_Dog,

I feel like I've let myself and my family down and that's the hardest thing for me to deal with. But I do have their full support thankfully in this instance.

Thank you for your support I appreciate you sharing your experience.

[sax_11]

Hi Paul,

Thank you for your support and advice. I suffered greatly in my 20's due to my anxiety but I managed to get though it with the support of my husband. Now I'm in my 40's it's reared it's ugly head again in a big way and I feel like a failure for not keeping it under control. My husband has been great again, but I hate that I chose the wrong job which has triggered it again. So not knowing what my next move should be, work wise, is frustrating.

I have been seeing my GP, that was the first place I went as my health was being affected and he's given me a few suggestions that have been a big help.

Appreciate you taking the time to respond to me.

Take care xx

[HappySheep]

Hi sax_11,

It makes a massive difference having supportive people around you, doesn't it?  I totally understand and share the guilt and disappointment in oneself, the feeling of letting the family down.  I think that's a great indication that we still have a long way to go before we see mental health as being as legitimate as physical health.  If someone developed long Covid or an auto-immune disease that meant they had to take time off work, no one would think they were not trying hard enough or they had failed.  It's equally as legitimate to take time off for mental illness as for a physical one.

I also understand the over-thinking brain that comes with anxiety.  There's a fabulous quote that I think is from Mark Twain that goes something like: 'In my life I have experienced many horrible, disastrous things - some of them even happened.'

I said in my previous comment that even typing some of my own fears made them sound ridiculous - even though they have me crippled with inability to function.  I thank you for making me say them out loud (so to speak) and showing them for their ridiculousness.  You inspired me to bite the bullet and resign from my own job.  Although I am still suffering from all the same fears as yourself, the relief has been amazing. 

We have done the hard bit - to recognise that we have to stop bashing our heads against a wall.  Now all we have to do is allow ourselves the time to heal.

I have no doubt you (and I) will both find jobs when we are ready. That is a problem for another today. Today's priority is just to take care of yourself and begin to heal.

Regards,

HS.

[therising]

Hi sax_11

I really feel for you so much while you struggle with overwhelming demands as well as such terrible inner torment. I can relate in a number of ways. While I'd planned to go back to work around the start of this year (after having a year off), going back's been put on hold for a couple more months. In the lead up to my resignation at the end of 2022, the mental torment in the form of inner dialogue was shocking. It sounded somewhat like 'What's wrong with you? Why when everyone else would be able to cope with all this stress are you so weak? It's because you're hopeless, that's why'. And stuff like 'What kind of person would put their husband under pressure by making him the sole income earner for the family? A selfish person!' and 'Think of all the things the kids are going to have to go without because you need time off, because you just can't get your sh** together'. It was relentless. Inner demons can definitely make life feel like hell on earth at times. My harsh and brutal depressing inner critic would have to be one of the worst. The people pleaser in me didn't help matters. 'You know how much this is going to upset everyone from your boss to your family to your work mates who are already short staffed' etc etc. It was largely my mum and my 21yo daughter who put an end to all that inner dialogue, when they woke me up to just how much I was trying to manage in life, with a part time job on top of it all. What my boss said to me was basically the cherry on top. Being someone who suffers from anxiety herself, she said 'If there's one thing I've learned over the years it's that anxiety is telling you that something's gotta change. If this is the change you need (resigning) then trust that'.

I don't think we realise just how much we're trying to cope with until there's some sort of breakdown or you could say a breaking down of everything that's led up to where we're at. Once you break it all down, it starts to make more sense, why we're experiencing life in the way we are. Hindsight can lead us to realise our nervous system may have been pleading with us to change, in a whole number of ways, for months. It's not until it begins screaming at us 'I CAN'T COPE WITH THIS LEVEL OF STRESS ANYMORE!' that we're finally forced to change some things. I think my nervous system was crying with joy the moment I handed in my resignation. At the very least, I could feel it give a massive sigh of relief. I figure if we're going to have our nervous system with us for the rest of our life, we need to start listening to it a bit more while keeping it in good health. Easier said than done at times, that's for sure. 🙂