Repeating words to cancel out thoughts

[hanne6]

I have no idea if this is just anxiety. Often when I think of a conversation, memory, or event that caused me anxiety, or was embarrassing, or if have a thought I don't like or one that feels distressing I start saying a word or phrase over and over again, very rapidly. Often I'll be repeating it louder and louder and will look visibly distressed. It's like I need to cancel out the thought entirely.

Sometimes it's so effective I'm not even sure what the thought was going to be. Other times when I stop repeating the word or phrase the thought will reappear for a mere second and I start over again trying to (I assume) snap myself out of it. Sometimes it's a swear word or something hateful.

Over and over. I don't even think I make a conscious decision when to stop. My mind just seems to know when it feels right and has completed the task of shutting down the thought. It's over quickly, but it's embarrassing, distressing, and happens so fast I don't have a chance to stop myself.

I absolutely hate it. I'm left feeling so on edge. I'm anxious about enough stuff without this thing I feel like I have absolutely no control over. Does anyone have any thoughts, suggestions, or maybe experienced similar?

[geoff]

Hello Hanne6, and a warm welcome to the forums.

I know and understand what you are saying and wonder whether you have been diagnosed by your doctor.

I can't say what you might have because I'm not qualified to do so, however, as it's something that I used to do, could be obsessions that are repeated, and unwanted thoughts, that are intrusive and cause anxiety.

You might try to ignore them or get rid of them by performing something else when you're trying to think of or do other things.

These repeated obsessions seem to make you know when it feels you have completed the task of shutting down the thought, again I can't say what you have but I'd really like you to visit your doctor, and please don't be afraid, they are there to help you.

They may refer you onto a psychologist and please ask them about 'the mental health plan', which entitles you to 10 Medicare paid sessions per year.

Hope to hear back from you.

Geoff.

[hanne6]

Hi Geoff,

It is very reassuring that you know and understand what I'm saying. Thank you.

I have a great GP but am always hesitant and anxious about seeing doctors. I've experienced other doctors not understanding how I explain things and have had one bad experience with mental health professionals.

Since I have the depression (bipolar) side of things under control I've told myself I'll just live with this as best I can and not see anyone. Save my self from embarrassment or bad experiences. Things have been and could be much worse. Still, part of me does want to try going to my GP.

I keep thinking, if I can't make sense of this or explain it then how can I hope a GP will have any idea what I'm talking about? I feel the need to work out exactly what's going on so I can explain it exactly right. All I'm left with is feeling embarrassed over my reactions to my thoughts.

Thanks again, I really appreciated your reply.

Hanne6

[geoff]

Hi Hanne6, thanks for getting back to me, and can I suggest that if you can click on 'Get Support' and scroll down until you see 'Find a professional', there you can find a doctor who is aligned to BB and specialise in mental illness and be able to help you.

If you can also type 'intrusive thoughts' into the search above on this page then a list of comments will appear so you can read what others have had to say.

You aren't alone and please keep adding to your thread.

Best wishes.

Geoff.

[hanne6]

I made an appointment with my GP today! Really surprised myself with how easily I managed once I committed to booking it. I started to overthink and obsess about it like I'd been doing for weeks and in that moment I stopped myself and chose to call without any more thought.

I had a few unexpected commitments, with a placement for uni, come up straight after I booked it so I began to worry times would overlap. There is still a couple of weeks before the appointment though, so trying to just focus on one thing at a time. I don't need to worry about how it will go right now or if anything will need rescheduling before it actually does.

Just quite happy and wanted to share that I actually did this!

[geoff]

Hi Hanne6, well done for making the booking, and perhaps if you write down on a piece of paper your thoughts and what you are worried about, just scribble them down as they come to mind, then if you like you can try and organise them, but that's not important, what is that you have listed them, the doctor will get the general trend of how you are feeling.

If you can click on 'The Facts' above and scroll down till you see the K-10 test and try and do this test a few times, but not straight after the other, but different times and days and then take this with you when you see the doctor.

All of this will help your doctor understand what you are going through.

Best wishes.

Geoff.

[SDSpurls]

Hi hanne6,

I'm curious as to whether you got a diagnosis for this because I have the exact same problem?

Cheers,

Steve

[Summer Rose]

Hi hanne6

Well done for making an appointment with your GP!

Your first post really said it all. It was clear, concise and made perfect sense. From my experience with very similar issues, I’m confident your GP will be able to help.

You don’t have to worry about how to explain what’s happening to your doctor, you got this.

Kind thoughts to you

[quirkywords]

SDpurls

Welcome to the forum a f thanks for making your post.

What have you tried that helps you feel better.

[smallwolf]

Hi All,

*waves* to quirkywords and hello to SDSpurls.

I know this is a bit of an older thread but the idea expressed in the initial post is a cognitive defusion technique used in Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT). Not sure whether the initial poster says the word out loud or not.

While not the same thing as said by the initial poster I have a way of minimising compliments by throwing in "but ...". The way I stopped adding in the "but" was to say OUT LOUD "Thank you. Full Stop!". Yes I did say out loud "full stop". as it was a way for me to cancel the next thought or statement starting with a but. I still occasionally get trapped in the negative thought but much less than I used to.