PTSD, anxiety and no support

[anxiety223]

have you ever gone through a difficult phase with no support?

I have a boyfriend of 2.5y ears and every time I am struggling, he finds it overwhelming and has trouble coping.

My biggest anxiety trigger is the thought of him leaving me.

i need some support. i have no family of close friends here. have booking in to see a psyc. but i can't even talk to my man, he is "always right", once he has his mind up there is no changing it.

what can i say to him? i need his support so badly

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[Beltane]

Hiya! I too have severe anxiety and PTSD (as well as bipolar 2) and I can certainly understand how much you must be struggling, and how you must feel overwhelmed like you're drowning in ajxiety! This is made 100x times harder because you feel you have no support.

its a sad fact that people who have never had deoression or anxiety find it very hard to understand and help those of us who do- they realy just have no experience what it's like. It can be very isolating and lonely for us who have it of we don't have anyone who understands.

ok, so, you can always give BeyomdBlue a call- you can also call Lifeline if you are thinking of self harm or suicide. Beyondblue are great to call- I've called them several times.

next, go to your GP. They can talk to you about medications that will fix fhe chemical imbalance in your brain which is causing this. They will also give you 10 visits to a therapist for free/ cheap. You can talk to the therapist about everything you're feeling and they can help you learn coping skills, think in more helpful ways, and even organise a couples session for you and your boyfriend so she can teach him how to better support you. (I'm betting he wants to support you, he just diesnt understand what is happening to you or how to help.). Therapy is very useful, please give it a good go. If you don't like the first therapist. You can always swap.

next, there are many support groups around. Please google "anxiety support group" in your State/ city. You may not like them, that's ok, you don't have to go. Support groups and online forums like this can be places to talk to others who are suffering like you and therefore you won't feel so alone.

i always recommend my favourite therapy book, "the Happiness Trap" by Dr Russ Harris, it's full of awesome information and really cool coping techniques to deal with those awful anxious thoughts. It help me heaps. I also love the following iPhone apps: ACT Companion (coping techniques) Smiling Mind (guided mindfulness meditation- very good app) and Headspace (another good meditation app).

during this difficult time it is very important you schedule "worry free times". I know you just feel not in the mood, but try if you can to read a nice book, do a favourite hobby of yours, get some exercise- and make it an hour or two where you're not allowed to worry. You can worry the other 23 hours!

i recovered from where you are, and am now happy, calm, stable, feeling normal, not anxious/ depressed. You can to

[anxiety223]

thank you for your reply. they edited my post so it has a completely different meaning now, thats not what i wrote! my boyfriend doesn't want to support me, he turns into a cold and horrible person every time i have a bad time. i also started with have you ever felt that life isn't worth living. i am not sui.cidal. i'd just rather be any other person in the world.

 my man also just told me that he wants to go work in the mines permanently for 6 months, and my mum wants to move to hong kong. they are the only 2 people i have in the world. i just had to take a sedative. he always does this before my birthday or xmas

[Beltane]

Um... Look I don't know anything about you relationship and you don't need to tell me if you don't want. Please talk to someone you trust or a doctor/ therapist/ BeyomdBlue.

some things you've said have come across like you might be facing some emotional abuse from your partner. I apologise sincerely if this is a misunderstanding, it's hard to understand via text sometimes. 

But look.. You might have problems with ajxiety for life. They hopefully won't be anywhere near as bad as they are now, but you might always be prone to getting anxious during tough times. You absolutely deserve a partner who is there for you in good times AND bad times.

noones life is always good. A true partnership is about loving each other, being each other's rock for support, each other's inspiration. Sounds like your partner just blocks you out and treats you horribly when quite frankly, anxiety  is already an awful thing to suffer. He's only adding to you anxiety.

please talk to someone professional if you are siffering any kind of abuse- whether physical or emotional. 

You deserve to be loved, adored and cared for especially when you are in distress and need help. 

ive been on relationships like that- is awful. I felt so alone. The guy always said I want good enough, needed to be better- look better, work harder, earn more, have a more impressive job, dress sexier, be happier and calmer, stop being deoressed and anxious cos "I should just get over it and calm down, stop being stupid". Took me a year to figure out I needed to leave that guy (we lived together and were engaged).

anyway the guy I'm with now is a dream come true. I've never been so happy. This is what a relationship is meant to be- two people loving each other, working together, looking after and supporting each other through good times AND bad times. My anxiety is much calmer cps for the first time in my life I have a partner I can rely on when I need him as he relies on me. 

You deserve that too. Please please believe that. You deserve a good rekationshp, don't ever think you don't. 

[anxiety223]

thank you so so much for your post. you described it perfectly! I'm hoping i can get him to come to the psych and see if we can do something about it but ultimately we will have to see. thank you again