Possible disorder hurting me and my family

[perfectparalysis]

I am seeking for some advice on what I should be doing about some internal struggles I have been having for years.

I feel like there is some kind of obsessive disorder that I am struggling with. I don't want anyone to have to do anything but I get angry (because I'm physically tired) that no one helps. They tell me I say "no I will do that, let me help you" when I should be letting them do it to save me time.

I also have a problem starting or finishing complex things because I keep trying to restart it a better way or abstract away the details to make a system for doing it next time when I shouldn't need worry about that.

I have strong tendencies for procrastination and don't like conforming to ways of doing things other people tell me, I need to come up with it myself. I reinvent the wheel often.

I can't keep living like this. I am the sole provider for my wife and 4 kids. I help my wife with her side businesses but I'm slowly getting behind in everything so I stay up later and later and am going to bed at 2/3am and getting up help get kids ready at 7am and get to work.

Money is tight, and while we have bills and mortgage other bills covered and systems in place to manage any unforeseen problems, it's always a constant stress to me.

I can't stop this obsession and need to before my physical health starts deteriating.

[smallwolf]

Hi. Welcome to beyond blue.

I am not a trained professional. I am just like you - just another user on the forum that suffers from anxiety and depression. It is a good start to recognise that something might be amiss. From your post, it appears you are stressed. But feel good about coming here. This is a community where you will be supported and helped and not judged.

But if I am allowed to go out on a limb, do you think that your stresses might be reduced if you were able to handle everything else more easily? Including sleep? (This is in relation to your comments on money. And I have similar thought to you. And I cannot say 'no'. And I am a perfectionist.) Sleep is also important in dealing with stress... my psychiatrist pointed this out to me. I will not tell you what you should or should not do. Except that for me, anxiety is reduced if you can get into proper sleep habits.)

I will however throw some questions at you that might help you determine what action to take...

- Have you looked at the K10 test on beyond blue? This test will give you a recommendation on what action to take, such as seeing a GP.

- have you spoken to or seen a GP about the above? If you want to take his course of action, make sure it is a double booking or long booking. There is paperwork to be filled out. Yay!

On the forums you will find other threads to help you manage your anxiety including...

Grounding yourself, What is it and how do you? - Beyondblue
Relaxation exercises - Beyondblue

Do a google search to find the above pages. As you are probably aware, knowing what your triggers help you manage it. My psychologist has also given me other tools, suggested apps to install my phone (only 2) and a 1 book to read. If you have any questions or want to chat, please let me know.

Tim

[perfectparalysis]

Hi Tim,

I really appreciate the time you have taken to answer my questions so thoroughly.

I took the K10 test on BeyondBlue and scored a moderate rating.

I will book into a GP for next week and speak to them about the issues.

Thank you for the direction to the articles. I do agree that sleep would greatly help. I feel that these relaxation and grounding ideas might help.

I feel like my perfectionistic tendencies are getting worse and worse and it's hindering projects at work where I keep restarting projects, or go off on tangents and develop foundational projects, and even at home I'm trying to create systems for everything and it's driving my wife nuts. Hoping to find answers... like the massive community on here I guess.

[smallwolf]

perfectparalysis,

Thank you for coming back. Like I said earlier perfectionism tendencies are one of my "problems" and still trying to overcome it, and is related to all-or-nothing type thoughts. If you do get referred to an psychologist, just remember that overcoming these issues cannot be solved with the click of a finger. It will take time, and there will be bumps along the way, and as painful as some sessions might be, there is hope, or light at the end of the tunnel.

Tim