Paralysing anxiety

[Maisy Nina]

Morning guys,

I am still fairly new to the site, so I haven't read all relevant posts yet 

I have had nerves/anxiety since my parents split when I was around 7 (40 years), and bouts of severe anxiety for the last 29 years. No matter how many therapists/psychologists/psychiatrists or medications I have tried over this time, I still get bouts (sometimes months) of paralysing physical anxiety whether my thoughts are negative or fearful or if my day is going fine.

I have had to take an extended amount of time out of the workforce since the end of May as I had just hit rock bottom with this issue (and less often, bouts of depression) and to work on coming off the 2 substances I medicated myself with just to get some relief from the crippling symptoms and seek further help for it all.

I would SO appreciate hearing other people's stories and suggestions for turning off the seemingly constant fight/flight response that is setting off in my brain.

Thanks heaps and have a great day.

[zenhippie]

Hi Maisy, I just wanted to come forward and congratulate you on being brave enough to post such a personal piece of yourself on here. This is a safe space where you are able to come forth and seek guidance and help.  In regulates to your anxiety trouble/fight or flight response, I too also feel this way sometimes about the most normal things or I get inside my own head and find I overwork my brain to much to the point it gets all tired out. I find that sometimes I need to let all my emotions out and have a good cry in the pillow and then zen out with some burning essential oils and a nice peaceful environment like outside or in home, with calm music or even and audiobook. Medications are hard for me as I always forget to take them which isn’t but I have other ways of helping myself. 

please feel free to write back 

thank you for reading xoxox 

[Maisy Nina]

Thanks so much for your response. I tend to cry a lot when I have bouts of depression, but not when I am anxious. It certainly does help with letting the depression out! My brain goes into hyper-drive trying to assign reason for the anxiety and it can spiral out of control, so sometimes I just have to accept it and not over-think it I guess. I'd love to know of the other ways you help yourself. I have an essential oil diffuser and it is pleasant, but doesn't really calm me down 😞

I hope you have a fab day xo

[Richju]

Dear Maisy Nina,

I'm so sorry to hear about your anxiety that has lasted for so many years. You must have been devestated when your parents split up and you were such a little girl.

My parents split up when I was very young too and I hardly saw my dad, who I missed so much. I married young and tried to cling on to my partner but we eventually split up.

I struggled with depression and anxiety for many years until I began meditation. I meditate three times a day for fifteen minutes. I never miss and the result has been much greater emotional strength. Although I still have bouts if anxiety, I am able to handle them more easily and find occasiinal counselling beneficial too.

While I realise that meditation isn't for everyone, I also kept a list of activities I could do when feeling particlarly anxious e.g. deep breathing, going for a walk, dancing to my favourite music, having a warm bath etc.

1. Maisy Nina, such a beautiful name, you were not guilty for your parents' separation and you richly deserve happiness in your life. I hope some of my suggestions have been helpful but above all, I urge you to talk to a counsellor initially.

I look forward to hearing from you. We are all here to support you and encourage your happiness.

Please take care of yourself.

Ruchju xxxx

[Maisy Nina]

Hi Ruchju,

Thanks so much for your supportive and kind message, it means a lot to just be heard and understood. My family don't understand the crippling feature of prolonged anxiety. I ended up going to a 13 day residential/medical detox earlier this month to come off the substances I was abusing to numb the anxiety and depression, and I haven't been having it as often, thank the Lord!! But I just still feel like it is bubbling away under the surface, waiting for a time to catch me off guard. I have deliberately increased my exercise to a brisk walk each day, no matter if it is 10min or an hour, this is something I neglected whilst an addict (although I still somehow managed to work until I left because I was in a bad way all around). I am really enjoying getting fitter again and I am hoping that it will also work as a kind of anxiety prevention tool i.e. feeling more calm and hopefully delaying any anxiety onset, or avoiding it all together, now that would be a miracle!!

I'm sorry about your parents too, it must have been hard, especially not seeing your Dad. Even though they don't truly understand, mine try I guess.

Thanks again and I look forward to talking with you again.

[Richju]

Dear Maisy Nina,

Thank you so much for your reply. It's so good to know you are trying so hard to overcome your anxiety. The more you try, the stronger you'll become!

Please learn to love yourself. When depressed or anxious, I used to relive my mistakes but now I try to think about my successes and there are plenty of them. Giving up an addiction is a huge success for a start. Disciplining yourself to walk is another and I'm sure there are plenty more.

Keep going Maisy Nina and strive to realise just what a wonderful person you are.

All best wishes,

Ruchju xxx

[Maisy Nina]

Hi Richju!

Thanks for your kind words. They are much appreciated. Good advice about successes too.

I wish for you a wonderful and peace-filled day ahead 😁 xo

[divine_inner_goddess]

Hello Maisy Nina, 

What lovely kind responses you have received in this discussion thread. I hope it has been helpful for you 🙂

I just want to say how brave that was to do the medical detox - you are amazing. I imagine that removing the substances has meant that the feelings you feel are more intense when they come up? And perhaps that feels scary to feel such intense emotions? I can relate a little bit to that. I know that I was using alcohol to numb my intense feelings of anxiety a while ago. And then I had to stop because alcohol clashes with a new medication that I started to take for sleep. And I noticed that once I had removed alcohol, my feelings were so intense and I had to actually feel my feelings. It was so horrible. But I realised that I couldn't keep pushing down my feelings forever and at some point I just had to feel it. 

It sounds like you have tried many avenues to get help for the anxiety, over many years. Sometimes when therapy and medications don't help with anxiety, there might be something deeper going on. I know we are not supposed to diagnose or give "advice" on here. But, it might be something to explore..... 

I noticed you used the phrase "paralysing anxiety" in your title. It made me think of Peter Levine's books, "Healing Trauma" and "Waking the Tiger". He talks a lot about when the energy of fight/flight gets stuck in the body and can't be discharged. It's part of the "freeze" response to a threat. He calls it the immobility or paralysing response.  

Anyway, for me, managing my anxiety on an ongoing basis includes: daily meditation for about 15 to 20 minutes, just listening to an audio on Insight Timer or Spotify. Also mindfulness and grounding to stay in the present moment, noticing what I can see, hear, feel, touch. Getting out of the head and into the body is so important, so moving, exercising, dancing around to music is great. I also love calming things like yoga. But, if the energy feels stuck, then I do things like scream in the car or underwater, shaking my arms and legs, a short sprint along the beach - things to help get the energy out.

I hope that is of some help to you, or to someone else reading. 

dig