Panic attacks keeping me away from sport and public performance

[Safeasmilk]

Two years ago I started having panic attacks, which would arise during sport or any sort of public performance. I spent a season of cricket making excuses why I couldn't attend training, such as working late, because my anxiety was getting the better of me. The next year I tried to quit but kept getting asked to play due to lack of numbers so I reluctantly played but never trained.

I'm quite heavily involved in this cricket club, being on the committee and it being apart of my social life. I also enjoy being in the company of most of the people there.

Once again this season we are short of players and I have been asked to play again or at least fill in. I really don't want to play as my anxiety has killed any enjoyment playing but being so heavily involved in the club I feel abliged to do so. Or if I say no to playing then I feel like I can't show my face there again because I've let people down.

I was seeing a psychologist last year about this and am also on medication but I can't seem to overcome my anxiety.

Just wondering if anyone had any advice for me as it is constantly on my mind.

Thanks

Ben

[romantic_thi3f]

Hey Ben (Safeasmilk),

Thanks for posting.

I'm not really sure from your post whether you are going to keep playing cricket or not - it sounds like it's great in some ways because it's very social but not so great because of your anxiety. It sounds like a bit of a catch 22 almost.

I also hope that you're not feeling forced to play. Sometimes it can be good to let things go for a while while you focus on your anxiety and recovery from it then maybe you can pick it back up next season. Other times being uncomfortable can be a good thing because then you're constantly battling with your anxiety and not letting it get you down.

How have the appointments with the psychologist been; are you still seeing them?

There are certainly lots of things that can help with anxiety such as meditation, thought training and relaxation exercises but often it's about finding what might work for you. What do you notice about your anxiety and panic attacks? Do you always have panic attacks when you are at cricket or only sometimes - is it the worry of having another panic attack that scares you?

Often this sort of stuff can be hard to talk about and it can be difficult to understand, but the more that you can learn about your anxiety; how it feels, what you're thinking etc - the easier it will be to regain some of that control.

Hope this helps

[Safeasmilk]

Hi,

Thanks for the advice, it is quite hard because of the catch 22 situation. I find the anxiety starts to bubble away and eat at me being in this situation.

The panic attacks can be random and the thought of having one is so scary.

I'm not seeing my psychologist at the moment. I try to talk to my dad but he seems to peddle out the easy answers, like he just doesn't want to deal with it. I find most people don't understand.

I will look into a few of the things you have suggested, but generally when I feel like this I just want to lay in bed and never get out.

Thanks

Ben

[romantic_thi3f]

Hey Ben,

Thanks for writing back. Yeah I can definitely see why it would bubble away. I'm sorry that your dad isn't very supportive. It can be hard to find people who understand - hopefully if you can start some chats on here even you may find more people who you can relate to.

Have you thought about going back to the psychologist?

Often the trick with anxiety is that in order to conquer it we have to face it. If the reason this anxiety is happening is because of the risk of another panic attack, then it might be about keeping yourself safe. Reminding your mind and your body that if another panic attack happens, it will be scary, but it won't be harmful. It'll suck, but it'll be okay. Our bodies react in silly ways so helping our body understand that there's nothing to be afraid of is a big challenge. Also reminding yourself that things won't always be this way is important too.

I definitely get that you want to lay in bed too. It's a cosy place to be. When you're ready - there's resources and people out here who can help.

[Safeasmilk]

I have thought about going back, but it has only really been in the last week my anxiety has spiked up. She did say the same message about facing up to my anxiety, it can just be really difficult to do.

Thanks

Ben

[romantic_thi3f]

Hi Ben,

Just wanted to check in and see how you were going; have you decided whether you are going to play or fill-in for cricket this year?

It's true that facing anxiety can be hard. It is probably some of the hardest stuff we ever have to do, but unfortunately the only way out is through.

Feel free to post again if you like. Also recommend that you check out other people's stories and experiences of anxiety here - https://www.beyondblue.org.au/get-support/online-forums/anxiety

All the best,

[Safeasmilk]

Hi romantic_thi3f

I did fill in last week and was extremely nervous and I could feel it effecting me but I focused on deep breathing. Eventually the nerves started to go away a bit.

I feel better that I got through a week of it. Thanks for staying in touch.

Ben

[wantalife]

Quick reply... Brother ex afl Gel hacked his guts up prior to running on the ground with most games + others. Leave info at that but very common bro. Med wise cant comment, Get angry at something non related and dig deep.. Really should practice what preach... it does work though.