On a road to nowhere?

SillySonia · ‎01-03-2014

I am suffering anxiety. Can't sleep at night. I nod off for a few hours and then I wake in the middle of the night in panic. I am not in control of my life, having always allowed it to lead me.

I have had too many unsettling experiences. Having spent years living and travelling abroad and now all I want is to settle down but so difficult. All my friends have families. I am single. Feel on my own. I have lost touch with old friends and am scared to contact them, yet I was in touch with them for so many years.

I am seeing a psychologist and starting CBT but its so hard to do.

I am a 'young' 47yr old woman but feel judged by society. Did not feel like this in Europe where age is less of a barrier. I don't look or act older but feel as though I am expected to.

Not sure what to do.

Suzbj · ‎01-03-2014

Hi Silly Sonia, I am 52yo and feel younger than I felt at 15yo or 19yo or any young age. Well, most of the time, except when that evil black dog presents itself. Sonia, you have so many adjustments to make being back in OZ. And it will happen, but it does take time. Don’t be afraid to contact your friends etc. whether they are married or not. They are your friends. But I do hear you. You responded to my post from last night. It’s all about being ‘happy in your own skin’. And as you know, I haven’t been and am still not feeling it but it will happen. Three steps forward, two steps back, but always forward... That is how life is as I understand it. I am younger now than I have ever been, and I am happy with that, even though the body doesn’t always come to the party! Like riding horses full on or hip-hop dancing with my friend’s son who is like a surrogate grandson to me! What helps me is facing one thing at a time head on. Which I will be doing re my down episode last night (which actually went on for a few weeks not a few days but I refused to recognise it – not helpful putting my head in the sand). And having fun, whether it is just dancing around madly to music while doing housework! Or pampering yourself in some way that resonates for you. And not comparing yourself to others. I know this bit is really right but am still working on that myself. I’m here for you as many others on this site are. Cheers Suz xx

SillySonia · ‎02-03-2014

Thanks.

I go through phases where I am ok. I went through a lot of stress in London and loneliness. Regret being there now. I do still have friends there and I was usually considered the fun loving adventurous type but I am so exhausted from over doing it.

Feeling lost and don't know who I am anymore.

Beetle · ‎02-03-2014

Sonia

It sounds like you have lost or not found your roots.I have traveld a lot and I felt lost and lonely until I made a decision where I really want to live. Its not about the landscape its about the people. I live in the far north and people are so different to people down south. Im single to and have no trouble people accepting me since here are more opportunities to find other singles......people are also more open to meet other people and its all a bit less stressful up here.

Think about it-where do you thing is your place in the world.is it really were u live now? consider where u could find likeminded people who traveld and understand your world view. That's superimportant.

Love beetle

optimistic · ‎03-03-2014

There are a zillion options out there. This is only a phase and this too shall pass.

Here are some suggestions to try:

1. It is important to take a wholistic approach to the mental and emotional health issues. Most take uni-dimensional approach which is not addressing the issues from all angles.

Please see a psychiatrist who can only clinically assess and provide medications. If already on medications, ask your doctor about lowering or increases dosages or reevaluating your current medications or trying alternate medications if the present one is not working for you.
consult another psychiatrist and get a second or third opinion.

It is also equally important to get a referral from GP and consult a psychologist to get some weekly couselling/therapy like CBT ( Cognitive Behaviour Therapy).

Whatever treatment method one chooses, having faith in it, is very critical in the healing process

2. It is easy to forget that the carer needs some counselling sessions as well as the consumer ( the person with the issues).

If there are children on the scene, it is important to consider the impact of the mental/emotional health issues on them and organise for some counselling sessions for them as well.

3. Enrol for gym or some team sport like basketball. Sweat it out.

4. Try yoga or meditation or mindfulness or Tai chi

5. Eat healthy nutritious meals

6. An idle mind is a devil's workshop. Keep yourself busy. Sign up for TAFE or some short term courses - pottery, carpentry, floristry, learn a new language.
Check out volunteering options in a field you love - sports coaching, meals on wheels, aged care or nursing homes, working with animals, etc. When you try to help people out there whose needs are greater than yours, your problems automatically go away.

It is important to reflect on what the consumer loves or enjoys and taking up such activity.

It is critical to avoid situations where the consumer is alone and cooped up inside the house always. Enlist the help of family and friends to go window shopping or to the movies or to eat out or simply for a walk in the park.

For those who do not have friends or family, consider signing up for a local support group eg. Anxiety Support Group either in person or online.

7. Take a break. Have a kit-kat :-). Consider travelling to a 3rd world country. Witness the poverty there firsthand, you will learn to count your blessings compared to zillions who have no clean water to drink or money to get their next meal or living without an arm or leg or orphaned having lost their parents to tsunami or AIDS.

8. Problems are relative. Compare yourself with people who are less fortunate than you. Maintain a "Gratitude Journal". Count your blessings.

9. Try not to become too dependent on medications. Try alternate therapies such as natural remedies. Discuss with your doctor about alternate medications such as St John's Wort.

10. Never lose hope. When the going gets tough, the tough get going.

11. I know it is difficult to do this one when you are suffering but consider helping others. When you help others, your problems automatically go away or atleast decrease in intensity.

Take care. God Bless.