OCD taking over my life!

[Nyny94]

Recently I developed a chemical contamination OCD , I feel huge amounts of guilt and fear that I'm going to posion people I love or be poisoned. I recently moved and after finding cockroach feces made the mistake of resorting to something I previously used at home Pineoclean wipes the tropical blossom ones, I've used them before. But this time after using them I developed a crippling intrusive thought and now I'm terrified to use anything t h ey touched including the stove , benches and sink. I've suddenly developed this crippling fear that because I sprayed the tap with vinegar that it might have had chemical residue that is now in the water so I'm afraid.
Not to mention my partner doesn't like chemicals so I'm feeling hopeless and guilty, I'm having these terrifying thoughts of posioning my self or someone I love because of my action s and I'm blaming myself big time. The biggest fear is unknown, I went to call the number on the back of the wipes but nearly vommitted from panic. I know I'm probably worried for nothing, but I can't stop my intrusive thoughts, I've reconsidered replacing the whole tap and sink but I'm renting. It's frustrating the crap out of my boyfriend, but I'm so terrified I've contaminated things and I have myself to blame.
This OCD is my worst enemy! I'm seeing a dr but I'm terrified to use my own things in my rental as I'm feeling unsafe and trying to tell my partner not to use them only frustrates him.
I can't help but think I'm responsible for all this , and I shouldn't have cleaned with the wipes at all , the guilds eating me too !!!
I'm afraid and stressed out to the point I feel miserable and hopeless and like an idiot

[Katyonthehamsterwheel]

Hi there

I'm sorry you're experiencing this, it's obviously distressing for you. I see white knight responded to your previous post and I wonder if you found the links helpful? Or if you have considered getting some professional help for these intrusive thoughts?

I suffer anxiety myself, and to a degree worry about chemical contamination too. I recently saw with a friend's son, how bad it can get if left untreated. As white knight has stated it's about rational and irrational thought. The wipes that you have used are considered safe and are used often in households for cleaning, so if you consider it from that perspective, poisoning is unlikely. Of course, our thought processes are not that simple. So while it's understandable that you feel scared and stressed, you're not at all hopeless or an idiot. I wonder if you'd be comfortable asking your GP to refer you to someone who is qualified to help you manage these thoughts and feelings a bit better?

Kind wishes, Katy

[Nyny94]

Thankyou so much Kathy, I've booked a Drs appointment as I can't manage it my self. I'm hoping this visit will help me be more able to handle this, and help my partner too as although he is my biggest support it gets tiring mentally for him.

[Katyonthehamsterwheel]

Oh that's great to hear! You're lucky to have a supportive partner, but yes it can get a lot for them. Pop back and let us know how you go with it, if you'd like to.

Katy

[Nyny94]

As an update I had a Drs. Visit today , I can recommend anyone looking for a good Dr in the Sydney area or around make Hurtsvile My health your first stop. The Dr was so lovely and she put me in contact with alot of people , I'll continue seeing her.
I managed to get refered to a psychatrist and it's all support from here.
Thank you Katy and sorry I wrote Kathy before , I know it's going to be hard but I know with the right help I can beat it I feel optimistic

[Katyonthehamsterwheel]

Awww this makes me really happy to hear. I'm so glad you're feeling optimistic. Take care and please pop back in any time you want/need to chat. This is a beautiful place to be with lots of support.

Katy 🙂