OCD on holidays

[JEF15]

Hi

My OCD was very bad when I was younger, but it's usually pretty well managed these days. Except when I go on holidays. I hate holidays, because I'm staying in a hotel/apartment/villa etc and everything just grosses me out. My children lay and roll all over the carpet and I FREAK! I can't shower cause it's absolute torture. I can't live out of a suitcase cause I can't put dirty clothes mixed in with my clean clothes. It's just not much fun, its not relaxing, as holidays are meant to be. I want to take holidays cause my children love it, so I do it. But really, I just wanna be home in my comforts. 

Anyone else like this? 

[Croix]

Dear Jef15~

Welcome back, it's good to hear from you even if the reason is not.

In your previos posts you had been talking about going off and staying off meds, do you mind if I ask how that worked out?

I can't say it is surprising you are not comfortable on holiday. While you kids enjoy it for you it is something else. In your own home you have worked out techniques to handle everyday life, the layout of your home and the taks you have to do both in it and outside.

All of a sudden this has all vanished and you are in an environment where you have not had the luxury of working out responses over time, it must be pretty upsetting.

A home is not a static place, and things change over time, from a new washing machine to kids having new friends. Can you tell me how you managed with these sort of changes? Did you for instance have a therapist you could talk to, or practice mindfulness or some other form of coping?

Some things, like the dirty clothes, you might on holiday be able to regard as simply physical problems, however I'm not sure that trying to 'fix' them is always the way to go, after all it assumes your thoughts are correct, which they may not be - attaching too much importance to things of lesser importance.

Other things may not be 'fixable'. Kids will roll on the floor and you  can't keep them clean all the time.

Here you may well need assistance, if the partner you mentioned before  is able to keep an eye on them so you are not confronted wiht the situation that might help. If you have a therapist see if you can talk with them , you can of course talk with our own 24/7 councilors who will understand.

Perhaps also distraction may be beneficial, reading a favorite book or watching a TV show, or if you  are up to it going for a walk. Keeping a journal, exercise, mindfulness and other techniques have been known to help.

I do hope things settle down for you, and it is not just an endless uncomfortable wait to get home.

Croix

[Ben]

Hi JEF15. Late reply but I've just found these forums. I admire the fact you do this for your children. I also have cleanliness OCD and I know the distress it causes so putting your children ahead of that is amazing, especially given the intensity of your OCD, and demonstrates an inner strength and love.

I can relate to holidays being difficult, although I don't have it as bad as you. I'm fortunate that when I'm outside my home, my OCD doesn't usually trigger as badly. Somehow my home is the prime environment where everything has to be really clean. I do find hotels and especially toilets to be a struggle but it's when I come home that the OCD becomes bad and I'll have to shower and clean even more than usual. So I only very, very rarely go on holiday and not at all since COVID because COVID has made my OCD worse than it was before.