Nothing seems to help!

[Frosty66]

Hi all

I have spent ages trying to figure out which forum to post in; as I seem to fit most. I guess my main issue is anxiety (and depression, ptsd and ocd...). I have been off work for over a year due to an injury and in this time my life has become a horrid cycle of isolation, loneliness, massive health anxiety issues and basically feeling I have nothing to live for. I have to live though for my child. I am in constant pain from the work injury and scheduled for surgery very soon. I put it off as long as I could due to being a single mother with no help from any quarter; being in a cast for six weeks was simply not tenable. It is now apparent the surgery is required and I will be receiving some assistance through the insurer. My child also has matured a lot since the initial injury (May 2018) and understands he will have to spend some time at his father's whilst I have the surgery; and that he will have to help me a lot more when I get home.

Throughout this awful time I then developed mysterious pains in other areas of my body and I believe I suffer from health anxiety. I have been to doctors over and over about various symptoms. I have had scans and MRI's (at great expense to me) and all were clear. That was all because I was convinced I had throat cancer. I then decided I had tongue cancer; went through same regime to be told all clear. Now I have decided I have lung cancer and am just living day by day until I have the surgery for the work injury and meantime expect to have a scan to see if I am correct in the lung cancer idea. I saw a doctor last week and told her my concerns. She listened to my heart/chest and could not hear anything untoward. I did used to smoke and I told her that. She said she is not concerned that I have anything like that and she thinks it is anxiety...again. I also have pains around my liver and in my hips and I am convinced that all of my bad habits in the past have caught up with me. I used to drink and smoke a lot. Because I have suffered depression and anxiety since my earliest memories. I did not have a happy childhood and I had a major trauma at age 14 which set me off on this path of self destruction. Therefore if I do have something terminal it is my own stupid fault. I do not care about me at all I just care about my child. I have to live another 3 years to get him to adulthood. That is my only concern.

[Katyonthehamsterwheel]

Hi there

Sorry to have not checked back in. Had a few issues of my own to get on top of. Hugs to you x

I'm so glad to hear the xray was clear. That must provide some relief. It's amazing how many bodily symptoms are caused by anxiety! There's a whole thread on here of things that people experience. That's not to say that we shouldn't get things checked out and that there isn't the possibility of something else going on of course.

I'm really sorry you're experiencing this though. It's definitely no way to live. I agree with Andrew's advice to find someone who wants to help you with ALL of your issues, not just the ones they want to deal with. It sounds like there's some old issues that have come back up for you, as is often the way until we deal with them. And it's no doubt all being compounded by the loss of your dog, and your current circumstances. It's a lot to deal with so be gentle on yourself, and remember that you're worth it to get better, and to be there fully for your child. Things can get better, and there is help available. You might just have to shop around a bit.

Keep us posted. And an extra hug from my doggy, Storm x

[Frosty66]

You are so kind and sweet; and I adore your darling pooch Storm. Thanks so much for going out of your way to help a total stranger. I so hope that you are ok. You can use me as a shoulder if you wish! I am actually an incredibly strong person; until this health anxiety rubbish kicks off. I hope I can be some support to you; as you have been to me. Sending big hugs to you and Storm. xx

[iamanxiety]

Hey Frosty3,

x Ray is clear great news. now you kinda answered your your own statement" not sure what's causing it".

you mention boredom. if you find you have to much time on your hands it may be time to fill it with something positive.

some think to yourself when your not feeling your best is a good thing but I find the opposite. I need structure to function properly . Idled time leads to negativity for me .

Andrew

[iamanxiety]

* time to yourself