New here- Not sure if I should even be posting

[Thesunshineyears]

Hi

I am not really sure if there is anything wrong with me or if I belong here but I feel quite alone and I don't know what exactly is wrong or how to start getting better. 

I feel quite anxious all the time and quite numb. I don't have any motivation anymore and it sounds like a cliche but I feel so lost and empty. I never used to feel like this. But over the last few months it has continued to build up until I had what I think was a panic attack last night. I couldn't breath, felt very faint and tight in my chest and couldn't focus or move. I was supposed to be at a party with friends and being in that social situation made me feel like I was on the outside looking in and I didnt belong anymore.

I don't know where to start feeling right again but getting out of bed is getting harder and I cant talk about this with anyone in my life. Being sad doesnt feel like a good enough excuse to demand attention and feels a little silly and dramatic. 

[White_Rose]

Hello Sunshine (Can I abbreviate your name?)

First of all, welcome to Beyond Blue and well done for posting here.  Yes you most definitely belong here when you have the feelings you describe above.  This is the place where you can get help and support, suggestions about where to get the help you need.  I have no doubt that other people will also respond to you very soon.

It sounds to me as though you are depressed.  No idea why but that's what it's like.  Depression can seem to come out of the blue.  May I ask your age and if you are single or have a partner?  This is not curiosity.  Having a partner can be a help in this situation.  Also, if your are quite young it is not only fairly common to have these feelings but of vital importance that you take action immediately.

The first step is to consult your doctor.  Do you have a GP you feel comfortable with?  If not, please look at the list of BB recommended GPs.  These doctors are skilled in mental health issues.  Look under Resources/Health Professionals at the top of the page.  Hopefully you will find a doctor in your area, unless of course you already have a GP you are comfortable with.

You have listed all your symptoms very well in your post so take this list with you when you see the doctor.  It is important to tell him/her everything you can .

Panic attacks can be terrifying.  They come out of the blue for no apparent reason and hit you like a truck.  Speaking as one who has had a number of panic attacks, I can empathise with you.  It's hard to think at these times and the more you try to get away from the feelings it seems the worse they get.

I would like to make a suggestion to you for these times.  Also when you feel anxious.  Once you realise that you are in this situation, try to relax.  I know that's easy to say and hard to do, but over time it does get a little easier. 

Imagine yourself in a little boat or canoe drifting down the river.  You don't need to paddle or do anything because the boat is taking you to a safe place.  Look at the shore and picture your panic or anxiety standing there.  Possibly it's getting a bit annoyed because you are "getting away". 

At some time when you feel calm try to work out what the panic looks so that when an attack happens you will already have the image ready.  See the boat, with you in it, drifting along to safety and the panic left on the shore getting further away.

Now I know that's a big ask when you are in the grip of panic or anxiety.  But the more you practice it the easier it becomes and you will learn how to manage these horrible times.

Again, not being sure of your situation, it's difficult to make suggestions about talking to family and friends.  At the top of the page is a drop down list under The Facts with information on a number of topics, depression, anxiety etc. I suggest you read these or get BB to send out a selection.  If you feel you can talk to family or friends there is another set of fact sheets specifically for these people under Resources.  These include ways to support those with depression etc.  It's useful for you to read these as they will give you some ideas about support.

Now I have given you a heap of information and you probably feel overwhelmed by it all.  Take your time to wade through it all a bit at a time.  Most importantly though, get yourself to a doctor for a thorough check and diagnosis.  That's your starting point.

Please respond to this web site.  I am keen to know how you get on.

Warm regards

White Rose

[geoff]

dear Sunshine, White Rose has given you some great pointers, but also can I say that this site is for people struggling with any type of depression, and the list of these illness's is very wide, and that's what this illness does to us, it tries to capture as many people as it possibly can.

From what you have described seems as though you are suffering from social anxiety, although I am by no way qualified to say this, but once you have been to hell and back several times, but mostly stuck in with depression for such a long time, it's part of the course we all seem to take, and that it has involved us as well.

Your condition is by no way silly and traumatic, plus it's not wanting to seek attention, it's an illness that you now have, but I hope that you check out the information that White Rose has given you, and once this has been done you will then find out that your condition is a prevalent disease, but it can be treated, it takes time and plenty of help and support.

It can be very difficult to be able to talk to family or friends, because normally they won't believe you or you maybe putting on a fake face, and indicating that all is OK, but deep down you are suffering like hell, but here there are so many wonderful and caring people who have been down the same track as what you are doing now, so it's much easier to be able to talk to us, as there is no criticism, back yard remarks, but just understanding, so I hope that you can stay with us, as other people may have other points to include. Geoff.