never thought i was anxious

[worrier92]

Hey All,

Im very new here and never posted anything like this. Im a little nervous however i read some very similar threads to how i feel.

I am a 24 year old Registered Nurse who constantly suffers hypochondria and anxiety. I always new i suffered anxiety in specific moments however over the last couple of years it seems to of increased without me knowing it. I have suffered family deaths and issues as well as heartbreaks. I am recently engaged to the love of my life, however that seems to of caused me to have an increase in anxiety too.

When i first started at uni the lectures used to say the more you know about the body the more you will self diagnosis. And it is so true. I am hoping to find others in the same boat and really work out a way to stop it, as it is getting to the point of becoming 24/7.

A while ago i was constantly short of breath and couldnt catch it. I kept telling myself i was really sick and had lung cancer etc. I went to the doctor and got diagnosed with reversible bronchial lung disease. I went on a puffer which helped however i still get short of breath. The doctor believes there is more anxiety related symptoms going on.

I will always feel sick and tired. Always panicking that i have some type of cancer. I diagnose myself and cannot stop thinking of death. When i go to bed, i feel my heart racing.

Just before i randomly got short of breath and felt so sick in the stomach. It is happening everyday and i am getting so sick of feeling stressed and worrying about having a terminal illness. I constantly think i have bowl cancer and stare age at my bowel motion sussing it out. The doctor states the likelihood is minimal.

Im really hoping that someone else is like me and can give me tips. Its making me so depressed but know one would know as i try to hide it. My fiance doesnt take my physical symptoms seriously as they understand anxiety so thinks nothing physically is wrong. I dont know where this obsession and diagnosis constantly came from but i cannot get rid of it.

HELP!

[Ace6913]

Welcome mummybee,

i don't understand why we do this to ourselves it's hard work isn't it😥 I had a health scare a few months ago wich a blew way out of the water with my own diagnosing and it really has set the tone for what life has been like the last couple of months I have something new weekly I think . My health scare was totally fine and this week I got the confirmation I needed and I thought id feel relief but my mind has just jumped to other problems I think I might have because as you probably feel and the same with worrier92 that we just have that knot in our stomach that something deep down is wrong . You really struck a cord with me mummybee when you said you won't get to see your babies grow up I to am a mum and currently pregnant so that's a whole other story dealing with pregnancy and anxiety 😁 but I think us mums just feel we have to be super responsible all the time and we feel if we catch things early it can be treated but most of what we imagine and tell ourselves is just not our reality . I went to the doctors yesterday just for a general check up but had her do Breast examination to checking a funny mole on my leg I'm always looking for something to get checked just to know I'm ok it's embarrassing really. Can I ask have you talked your gp about your anxiety im currently doing cognitive therapy and it's helped slot hasn't taken away my anxiety but it's given me techniques to use when we have our bad days .just know your not alone in what you feel 😊

[worrier92]

Hey Everyone, sorry for disappearing had a really busy few days. So since my last post i haven't been to bad. Had a psychology scare yesterday when i thought i saw blood but it was just that i couldnt see what it was properly.

My dog of 13 years past away the other day so have been a bit distracted with that. Then worked today and work tomorrow. I find that if i feel well i think nothing, but when i feel randomly shit im dying. I go through periods when this is everyday and then once or twice a week. (Still too many).

Anyway how i everyone else going this week? Lets try to help each other.

Take care 🙂

[james1]

Hey worrier,

I'm glad it's generally been okay for you the past week, but I'm sorry to hear about your dog. It sounds like you took good care of the cuddlepuff .

I've got my psychologist appointment today so a bit nervous about that. I have no idea where to start for this session. Feels like a lot has happened in the last week, but I don't remember what, haha.

Have you kept up the meditation? I agree even once or twice a week is too many times to have those panic attacks.

Hope your day is going well.

James

[worrier92]

Hey everyone I am sorry for disappearing but feel it's time to say hi again. Life is so busy isn't it!

So I went to the doctor cause I felt I had all these issues and he re assures me everything is fine. The back of my head hurt so I thought 1) I had some rare cancer or 2) I was about to have a stroke.

Just now I found a lump with a clear graze under my hip and of course I immediately panicked and went to cancer. Cause I don't remember doing anything to it.

I hate this mind set. I never used to be this bad or obsessive. I know I'm wasting life I'm just so scared of dying young and in a horrible way.

But I cannot let it rule me anymore!

So like everyone we have our days!

How are you all ? What's bed happening ?

i think keeping yourself busy in times of anxiety really helps. Stops you from focusing on it!

Chat soon 🙂

[Ace6913]

Hi worrier great to hear from you again I can see how strong you are getting with challenging those thoughts even though it might not feel like it . I to have had a rough couple of days with letting my thoughts tumble in and bring that dreaded knot back to the pit of my stomach like my body is screaming out to me that something is wrong. I've given myself Breast cancer this week because the muscle in my left Breast is tender and of course the more I feel around I'm always going to find bumps or lumps it's just so frustrating 😡 I continue to try and be kind to myself and use positve self talk it works just takes alittle time on my off days . I've tried to stay busy the last two days so it has helped it's just late in the arvo I start to get panicky . don't worry I felt a sore bump on the back of my head the other day immediate melt down then I remembered I knocked my head on my daughters bunk bed 😬 I bet the same thing with your hip you will remember out of the blue how you might of knocked it 😄 keep the updates coming worrier chat soon x

[worrier92]

Hey! I hope you all are doing well! How's everyone been coping ? What has been going on ? My anxiety has been through the roof recently. My body just doesn't feel right but all my tests come back normal. And the other things I complain about doctors just think it's nothing to worry over! You know the feeling when you go to the doctors but suddenly you can't describe how you feel or you just feel better ? It's so strange that's me! I have had left hip and back pain with issues when I eat...cancer spreading..omfg!!!

Abd now these clowns across Australia! FML my horror fear is alive!!

chat soon 🙂 miss you all

[KittyCat17]

Hi Worrier,
Wow I dont think I could have read a post that relates so much to exactly how I feel.

I also have suffered with slight anxiety at specific moments but could always handle it. However, since working in a cancer organisation my anxiety has just spiraled out of control without me even realizing.

I speak to new clients everyday and hear their stories, hear of people dying from cancer or young people my age (27) getting cancer and although it would cross my mind like 'wow I hope thats never me' I never really thought it went further than that until recently.

About 6 months ago I just continually was feeling unwell, extremely fatigued everyday and completed convinced myself that something was wrong with me, mainly that I Had cancer. I found a lump in my breast and was getting headaches so I thought I've got breast cancer and secondaries in the brain. Of course I went to get it check out and everything was fine. But then I convinced myself it was actually a brain tumour and needed properly CT and MRI scans to diagnose that. I literally felt like I was on my death bed, I cant even explain in full how I felt, but everyday I felt sick. I went to the doctor more times in 3 weeks then I think I've ever been in my whole life, after numerous tests it came back and they said "I think you've just got anxiety" and I was shocked, obviously happy I didnt have an illness but I couldnt even begin to fathom how I got myself to this point.

Since then I've been seeing a psychologist which has helped. Ive only had a few sessions but since when I havent felt as bad as I did. I still have my moments and days where I feel physically ill and exhausted and have to keep telling myself its just anxiety and I am working to get through it through CBT and relaxation techniques.

Basically he also said that when you work in jobs like ours, cancer becomes your life. As you are at work most of your time, all you can think about is cancer. Even though at my age cancer is very uncommon, because your seeing people everyday it seems like SO many people have cancer when in reality its not like that. I have felt really ashamed of this like why cant I handle this and everyone else can? But I think you'd be surprised with how many people do feel like this but just havent told you.

Anyway I hope you are feeling better now and I would highly suggest talking to someone about it because they can give you techniques to help your anxiety but also it just feels good talking about it.

[worrier92]

Hey KittyCat 17, I'm so unbelievably sorry I haven't responded in so long. To be completely honest I hadn't logged on in months as life got busy and in some ways I felt like I was getting better.

I was seeing a really great applied kinesiologist who has helped tremendously.

I do need to go back and see a psych it's just so hard with shift work commitments. That's where I get bad at committing.

Its amazing to hear your story and how alike we seem to be. It's so true though, your post did help when you spoke about how often we see it in comparison to reality.

I do hope you're getting better in all ways 🙂

this week I've had a cold for like 9 days and today my upper things and hips are aching. I found a lump in my left hip region few months back and freaked out.

It was a hernia. Now I'm freaking out about the pain in hip. I get my nursing mind on and think the worst. But I bet tomorrow it'll be fine.

Then I'll get a bladder ache and think cancer there.

I've stopped talking to my partner about this as I just seem annoying I can tell.

Its funny how we fluctuate with our feelings!

Anyway I do hope you're good and again sorry to be such a slack poster replier.