never thought i was anxious

worrier92 · ‎07-09-2016

Hey All,

Im very new here and never posted anything like this. Im a little nervous however i read some very similar threads to how i feel.

I am a 24 year old Registered Nurse who constantly suffers hypochondria and anxiety. I always new i suffered anxiety in specific moments however over the last couple of years it seems to of increased without me knowing it. I have suffered family deaths and issues as well as heartbreaks. I am recently engaged to the love of my life, however that seems to of caused me to have an increase in anxiety too.

When i first started at uni the lectures used to say the more you know about the body the more you will self diagnosis. And it is so true. I am hoping to find others in the same boat and really work out a way to stop it, as it is getting to the point of becoming 24/7.

A while ago i was constantly short of breath and couldnt catch it. I kept telling myself i was really sick and had lung cancer etc. I went to the doctor and got diagnosed with reversible bronchial lung disease. I went on a puffer which helped however i still get short of breath. The doctor believes there is more anxiety related symptoms going on.

I will always feel sick and tired. Always panicking that i have some type of cancer. I diagnose myself and cannot stop thinking of death. When i go to bed, i feel my heart racing.

Just before i randomly got short of breath and felt so sick in the stomach. It is happening everyday and i am getting so sick of feeling stressed and worrying about having a terminal illness. I constantly think i have bowl cancer and stare age at my bowel motion sussing it out. The doctor states the likelihood is minimal.

Im really hoping that someone else is like me and can give me tips. Its making me so depressed but know one would know as i try to hide it. My fiance doesnt take my physical symptoms seriously as they understand anxiety so thinks nothing physically is wrong. I dont know where this obsession and diagnosis constantly came from but i cannot get rid of it.

HELP!

Ace6913 · ‎07-09-2016

Hi there

welcome worrier92 your going to find lots of support from this site If there's one certain thing I can tell you. I am currently suffering from health anxiety I've been blessed with support from my gp and psychologist currently doing cbt wich has done wonders. I think if you can find a trusted gp that would be a start and tell them exactly what your feeling and thinking this will be the start of your progress I obsess about every little symptom from chest pains to tightening of the throat to I have a lumpy chest 😁 that's my obsessive thought today even though I've had the doctor check and I'm fine but I've checked my chest about 50 times today so far. I know that this is not ok and through my therapy I've learnt ways of trying to break the obsessive checking and thoughts just today is alittle hard for some reason . We really just need to be kind to ourselves and talk positively to ourselves instead of saying omg! I have cancer to saying alright you just have a bumpy chest 😁 just know your not alone in jumping to worst case scenarios it is just the anxiety setting our fear alarm off but definetly go see your doctor and see if you can talk to someone about anxiety once you educate yourself about what's going on in your mind it really opens up new ways of thinking 😄 my tip for you today would be to take 10 mins to yourself and push away all the intrusive thoughts and replace them with your happy thoughts (mindfulness) try and do this everyday your mind deserves a break . Always here 😄

worrier92 · ‎07-09-2016

Hi Ace6913,

Firstly thank you so much for commenting, it is good to know i am not alone however i do feel for you being in the same situation. Its horrible. I cant exactly remember when it all started but i do believe it has to have some sort of connection with my career.

I have a beautiful view out the front of my house so when i am really anxious, i look out there however i still csnt help but feel sick.

Today my thoughts continue to be bowl cancer and secondary in spine as my back is sore. Also some in lungs. I deal with terminal patients daily, so thinking these unrealistic thoughts makes me feel selfish and horrible for those who do have it. But i cannot help it.

I am constantly needing to take deep breaths. Your advice on needing to not jumping to worst case scenario is so true as is needing to push those thoughts away. I notice when i am distracted such as people over for dinner it rarely happens, however it will still pop up. Then i feel exhausted, all the time.

Gosh look at me, i am such a mess. Then i feel bad because i know im whinging about it.

Thank you so much for your post, honestly i dont feel so alone. I guess maybe we should just joke in someway on here about our daily updates and that could possible help 🙂

Im always here for you too 🙂

james1 · ‎07-09-2016

Hey worrier,

I'm also 24 but in a much less rewarding career path I think, aha. Good on you for posting here - it sounds like you're really in tune with your own feelings which is super important when it comes to mental health.

I think ace's suggestion about the mindfullness could help as well. Once you get used to the technique, it can help with staving off really bad anxiety when you catch the feelings early.

You could be right that your career may have put a bit more pressure on you. Does work offer any kind of support to its staff to help deal with the stress at work? You mentioned you've been talking to your doctor as well about physical symptoms. Have you spoken to them about how you're worried about your mental well being as well? You could talk to them individually at first then consider bringing your fiance as well to help them understand how you are feeling.

Again, welcome and glad to have you on these forums! You sound like a very caring person.

James

Ace6913 · ‎07-09-2016

We are so much alike I do think your right this has stemed from your career and what an amazing career you have I honestly don't know how you do it and watch patients suffer it takes a special person to do your job 😄 of course we are going to jump to cancer it seems to be my big trigger my anxiety started over 4 yrs ago I suspect I've always had it but as I've gotten older and I'm a mum now I feel I have to be responsible . 4 yrs ago I felt lumps in my neck just lymp nodes but I talked myself into lymphoma so much I was having panic attacks everyday was taking myself to emergency all the time because I had chest pains tightening of the throat and face you name it I experienced it but I got some help with medication and moved on I even stopped taking medication. Now 4 yrs down the track I was washing my hands back in July and I saw this lump on my wrist oh my did the anxiety hit me like a truck I couldn't even take my next breath before I told myself that's it its my turn to have cancer yet I had X-rays ultrasounds turns out it was a ganglion cyst and of course started the cycle of anxiety one week I'd have Breast cancer to skin cancer to brain tumour it just spirals out of control all the time the trigger was a cyst yet do you think I belived my doctor no. Now down the track to this week my cyst has magically disappeared and obviously that's what cysts do the appear out of nowhere and disappear . Now I'm left with months of worrying behind me and hard work ahead of me to turn that alarm off in my head. I'll be in the shower and notice a freckle and start to panic because maybe I haven't seen it before i suppose I'm just telling you all this because this is what I've put myself through in the last couple of months because of cyst I was told it would go away and I predicted the worst and look it's gone. What we predict ourselves is not reality just tell yourself that when those thoughts arise but get into your doc and bare your soul I know it's hard but really sooner you get help sooner you will feel better and I have days where I feel like my old self and I cherish them more then ever . I promise you will get through this 😄

worrier92 · ‎07-09-2016

It does sound like we are very alike. It would be amazing to keep chatting to you, James and other people on here who totally understand. My fiance just came home and he is the only one who can seem to calm me down. I feel very lucky to have someone who is my best friend however i know this must take a toll on him too. Honestly, Kudos to you for being so proactive and being able to move forward. We all have our days but it sounds like you are becoming more able to manage it.

I know this probably sounds crazy, i mean it used to to me until the last couple of years but i have become more spiritual. By that i mean im starting to believe (still have my days of not) that their are spirit guides etc out there. So for me, my anxiety got so bad about an hour and a half ago i had to put myself into a meditation...still learning how to do it properly but that one was amazing. I have finished and feel better for now.

As i think you mentioned, it may be the pressure of my job. However everyone has pressure in their job and life. But yeah i have seen some nurses get into a lot of trouble over the last few years for things that cant always be helped and i think it scares me in some subconscious ways.

Anyway i do feel chatting on here will help. Its like having an online friend who totally understands you and supports you. Right now im actually starting to get really hot and sweaty..i know i need to calm down before i think i have some horrible disease which is coming to me slowly in my mind.

I will def follow what you and James said. You both seem amazing.

Chat soon i hope.

🙂

james1 · ‎08-09-2016

Hey W,

So wonderful to hear from you again.

Your fiance sounds like he can be very pragmatic and know how to fix things, which is something we need when we're really worked up.

I don't think it's silly at all that you feel like you've become more spiritual. I think, however it manifests itself, we need that spiritual side to calm us. Whether it be belief in ourselves or other things, it all comes down to having trust in something, and I think that's important.

Did you learn your meditation techniques in a class or through one of the many online/phone apps?

James

worrier92 · ‎08-09-2016

Hi James,

Good to hear from you again today. I hope your day is going well. I woke up feeling slightly moody and irritated, not sure why but it seems to be calming itself down. Sometimes its hard to know exactly why. You think you can pin point some areas but you get yourself more confused.

I actually did it properly the first time yesterday, using youtube. I had to find one that felt right for me. I struggled at fist, because my cat was running around the house, so i just zoned out, and did my own thing with the music. Instead of listening to instructions.

Anyway i dont know where in Australia you are, but it is a beautiful day here in Melbourne.

How are you today?

Talk soon 🙂

james1 · ‎08-09-2016

Aha I love your story about your cat. I once forgot that I'd left my bird cage open and my cockatiel flew up into my room mid-way through my attempt to practice mindfullness, screaming for company. He can be very annoying like that, haha. How old's your cat? Do you just have the one?

I agree it can just be confusing if you try to think about it too much. You could try to write down what you were thinking or doing, but then just put that aside somewhere and one day later, come back and see if there are any patterns.

I'm in Sydney at work. It's a little cloudy, but it's the kind of cloud that makes it nice to be outside. Stops the glariness of the sun, but lets enough light to make it seem like a sunny day. Doesn't help that I'm inside at work though! Do you have a shift today/tonight?

James

Mummybee · ‎08-09-2016

Hello

just thought I would drop into this conversation, as I am a HA sufferer also.

I have always been an anxious person, but about a year ago I had a health scare and since that day I have been convinced there is something bad wrong, but they just can't figure it out.

i wish I had some pearls of wisdom to share after all this time, but I don't. Just wanted you to know your not alone.

i have had everything from breast cancer, MND, MS, cervical cancer, ovarian cancer, brain tumour.... I could go on but it's really quite embarrassing.

i still believe deep down something serious is/ will be wrong with me and I won't get to watch my babies grow up.

mummybee