My son was destroyed online… and it’s me not coping

[LissyLou99]

Hi friends

My son, about a month ago, tried to take his own life at 17 years old as an ex girlfriend posted online that he was a sexual abuser. Of course initially our priority was to ensure he was safe and got him some help to keep him safe. Next we investigated the allegations and even took him to the police and asked for them to investigate it. Our reasons were 2 fold. If it was true or any basis for her allegations, then we needed our own son to be responsible for his actions. But if it was false, we want him to have a voice of reply and to have her dealt with. To at least remove the post that went to 300 of the school kids. The result was there was no basis for her post, it was posted out of jealousy to deter another female from liking my son, no charges were laid against my son, she was reprimanded and the post was removed. Unfortunately it made an awesome story for 17 years old that he goes to school with and although is still receiving a lot of help from professionals, is a risk every time he leaves the house of whether he will be able to keep himself safe. He is avoided at school as, although she keeps it off line, she verbally still spreads stories of him.

The knock on effect is what this has done to our family. I can’t get it out of my mind. I turn over the events constantly. The anger is what she’s done to gain attention and to be portrayed as a “strong resilient survivor” flies in the face of every woman who has truely been assaulted. But I can’t seem to move on…

i want to be the mature woman I used to be but I’m the middle of the night when I can’t sleep, the intrusive thoughts prevent a clear way through. I’m trying meditation to try to calm my mind and it does help. For a short time. I exercise every day but still doesn’t exhaust me enough. I don’t want to go to work but once I’m there, it does distract me. I’m hiding all these thoughts from my wonderful and supportive husband. I’m embarrassed that I’m not coping. He truely is CaptainSensible! But sometimes I just wish my mind would just stop.

[LissyLou99]

Hi

thanks for your reply. Yes we did go to the police initially and they visited her and her mum as what she posted on Instagram was “using a digital device with the intention of causing harm” and was ordered to take it down. Surprisingly it took her 3 days after that visit to take it down. What I guess they can’t do is get her to retract what she said… it’s already out there and 300 fellow students saw it and feel threatened if they have any contact with my son. I wish we could have gotten an apology. He needs it and deserves it. It’s so frustrating. I do look at her parents as well in this. If I had a daughter who said she had been abused by a guy, I’d be in that boys front door and demand answers. They have never contacted us. I’m sure they realise she fabricated it but have not sought any repercussions to what she did. He is still left voiceless.