My daughter's school refusal and my mental health

[Ali75]

Hello, I was on here a while back, speaking about my daughter. I just need some support again. My daughter is refusing school. She did so most of last year as well. She is now flat out refusing. I am seeing a psychologist to better support myself and my own mental health and to support my daughter. She is starting equine therapy this week with a psychologist. I am on anti depressants but they are not working at the moment. I just feel like crying everyday. I feel like crawling into bed and sleeping and doing nothing. I know this is not good for me so will go for a walk but I am sick of feeling this way. I am not suicidal but just want to be happy again. I want her to be at school and have my life back. Has anyone else had trouble with their children refusing school and come out the other side. At the moment I have no hope she will.

Thank you😪

[Sophie_M]

Hi Ali75,  Thank you for sharing this here. We hope you have found some comfort in the kindness and understanding of our lovely community members. We’re sure we’ll hear more from them.   It sounds like you are a really caring and supportive parent, and it sounds like you’ve taken some incredibly important steps.  Please remember to reach out any time you feel you are struggling, to the Beyond Blue helpline on 1300 22 4636, or you can reach our counsellors via webchat, here.   Your child is, of course, always welcome to contact us too, or there’s our friends at Lifeline on 13 11 14. We can hear it might be hard to encourage them to do so, but we are here all the same.   Please continue to share here, whenever you feel comfortable. You never know how your story might help others who can relate to what you’re going through.    Kind regards,  Sophie M 

[Ali75]

Thank you Sophie, Is the webchat just that, communicating through chat online instead of talking? Sometimes I just don't feel like getting on the phone but I could chat by typing if you know what i mean

[Summer Rose]

Hi Ali75

I hear you and I want to encourage you to hang in there. Better days ahead are always possible.
My daughter fell ill at the age of 13 with anxiety and OCD. We also went through school refusal for about a year, as she participated in various intensive treatment programs. Four years of spotty attendance followed, which typically coincided with relapses into illness.

She persevered and graduated high school and the day she received her university offer was pure joy.

One of the best things I did was to seek psychological help for me. I found a mental health nurse in private practice (a lot cheaper that a psychologist and you still get the Medicare rebate) who coached me on how to effectively help my daughter and best respond to our daily challenges.

I also worked extensively with my daughter’s school to help her ease back in and stay there. A big part of this advocacy was ensuring my girl could access her education on a level playing field with her non-anxious peers.

I am happy to share what I learned and information about what worked well, but not sure where to start.

If you think it would be helpful to chat, please feel free to ask anything you want.

You are not alone. I know how hard this is for both of you. And if I can support you, I will.

Kind thoughts to you 

[Fern42]

Hi Ali75,

I just want to acknowledge the difficult time you are having with your daughter and your own mental health challenges. It does sound like you are utilising all the right avenues to make things better, and it's great that you are seeing a psychologist. Could you consider seeing your GP about your antidepressants? I can see you are currently riding the waves, but you sound like a kind and supportive parent trying to do your best to support yourself and your daughter. We are here whenever you need for a chat.