My brain makes up worst case senarios

[Missy1807]

Hello I'm very new to this page but it's getting to a point where it's getting to much. I suffer from quite bad anxiety and ocd most of the time I can keep it at bay and use the tools my psychologist gave me but some time I can't control it. My thoughts get so real and worst case senarios I can't stop over thinking. For eg I got into a verbal altercation over the weekend with someone and now my thoughts are I am going to be arrested for assult. Now I know it never happened but tue thoughts don't stop and I get so anxious and nervous and over think everything. These episodes usually only happen once a month but recently it has been weekly. Really stupid things cause it and I can't shake it untill the stressor goes away which could be days. Does anyone else have this type of thing or any ideas when it's at it's peak to make it stop? I'm exhausted

[therising]

The warmest welcome to you Missy

I feel so deeply for you, I truly do. I can also relate to where you're coming from. For me (wondering if you can relate in some way), 2 of my biggest triggers are my thoughts - in the form of words and imagination or imagery. Feeling what I can hear and see in my mind at times is incredibly stressful.

I'm a highly sensitive gal who is highly sensitive to internal dialogue and imagery, good or bad. When it's good, it puts me into a state of positive high energy and elation. When it's not so good, it puts me into a state of negative high energy (stress or fear). Either way, it's hyper activity for the body that can be felt.

Wondering if you can also relate to the more scenarios that come to mind, the more worked up you get, mentally and physically. Can lead you to want to scream 'STOP! I HAVE TO STOP LISTENING TO MYSELF! I HAVE TO STOP IMAGINING THINGS THAT PROBABLY WON'T HAPPEN!'. Of course, very hard to automatically stop when your mind has built up such momentum you feel like you're about to come to a crashing stop.

Even channeling the natural sage in you may not cut it. You know that part of you that's probably saying something along the lines of 'Stop. You need to breathe. C'mon slow breaths, in and out. Stop thinking and go and do something constructive. Stop imagining the worst'. I know I sound a little insane when I say I find myself saying to the sage in me at times 'But you don't understand, I can't calm down'. Becomes a bit like a battle of internal dialogue. If the sage in me was standing beside me, I can imagine they'd be rolling their eyes, smacking their forehead and shaking their head while saying 'You're a shocker. How many times do we go through this sort of thing for you to eventually realise you can calm down. Trick is you have to manage calming down?'.

The question becomes about how to manage 'calming down'. What does this kind of management look like? I'll suggest the 'M' word, meditation. Far from easy to do when you're highly stressed. Meditation involves 100% focus. Doesn't matter what we're meditating on (the clouds, Netflix, a leaf, long slow breaths out etc), the focus must be 100%. With 100% focus, you can't focus on anything else. While stressful inner dialogue and imagery may threaten to shift focus, the ultimate challenge comes down to returning focus back to the cloud, Netflix, the leaf, the breath etc) over and over again.

Do you know what may lead you to shift focus?

[Missy1807]

I can definitely relate to what your saying I often find my self telling my self to stop and just calm down. I don't know what shifts my focus I'll be fine then next minute I'm making up worst case senarios in my head

[therising]

Sorry Missy, forgot to add the idea of whether you have a 'go to' person who can help you relate to a solid plan to follow, which can aid you in managing how you see the way forward in your mind. Is there someone in your life who's able to lead you to 100% focus on a solid plan, without straying too much off the path and into a lot of emotion? Might be someone who can't always lead you to manage this way but maybe they have an impact on you occasionally. Someone who's of guidance in your life.

[Petal22]

Hi Missy1807,

Wellcome to our forums!

Im really sorry this is happening within you.

I totally understand I went through severe anxiety OCD it was a marathon to endure but it’s a marathon that I won thanks to the professional help I received.

OCD is a vicious cycle but it’s a vicious cycle that you can learn to break free from.

You can train your attention to stay in the present moment and not inside your head.

Meditation is one of the best skills I learned while learning meditation I became aware that I wasn’t my thoughts but the watcher of my thoughts once you can grasp this skill you can sit back and watch your thoughts and not get involved in them.

Have you practiced any type of meditation?

OCD is a vicious cycle has any of your phycologists been able to teach you what the OCD cycle is and how to disengage from it?

One of the things that keep you in your OCD cycle is questioning your thoughts…….

Try this…… when you have these intrusive thoughts….. don’t question them instead turn your attention onto something in the present moment……. even if you have to stand up put your attention on your feet how do they feel on the ground? How do your clothes feel on your body? What can you hear…………. Keep turning your attention on something in the present moment and not inside your head.

I understand how exhausting OCD is but once you are taught the correct way on how to break free of its grips you will regain your energy………. You CAN beat it!

Ive written two threads you may be interested in reading

From someone who suffered with OCD and recovered

Effective treatment for OCD Metacognitive Therapy

( just type these into your search bar)

Please ask me any questions

[Searchingforhope]

I understand the feeling of exhaustion. It's so exhausting when you can't turn off.

I hope you are feeling better

[quirkywords]

Missy

welcome to the forum and thanks for sharing your story. Many people who read posts but don’t post will be helped by words as they won’t feel so alone. The rising, petal, searching for hole have all given supportive suggestions.

I like the iead if being a watcher if my thoughts instead of trying to fight them which is what I do.

[therising]

Hi Missy

Metacognition might be something worth researching. Just a thought 🙂

[powerchord007]

Thanks for posting, Missy! I jumped on the forum this morning, looking for some discussion/reassurance with this exact thing. I also have a tendency toward catastrophic/worst case scenario thinking, which revolves around obsessing about things I know I would never do. As they say, “ego dystonic”, in that the thoughts are so opposite to what our individual values are, they distress us so much. Many of mine revolve around worrying I’m going to spontaneously harm someone physically - anything from impulsively slapping someone, right through to turning my steering wheel slightly to run over a cyclist! Much of the distress centres on the ‘what if’ in the aftermath of any of these actions. I picture myself being disgraced, losing my employment, imprisonment etc, or even that I’ll give myself ‘penance’ by deliberately depriving myself of things I like doing, owning, and being part of. My brain keeps projecting further down this fictional negative future. In a lot of ways, it’s the fear of the unpleasant physical ‘swell’ of anxiety/nausea that occurs for the few seconds that my car passes a cyclist, for example. Then I dwell on that horrible physical feeling for a large part of the day or week. I wonder if you have similar thoughts/sensations? Also, does your fear of say, the argument you mentioned escalating into something else, tend to loom large in your mind over a significant period? When I experience similar worries, it’s like I view everything else through a prism of that one negative obsessive thought, rather than appreciating ‘the moment’ itself. If you made it to the end if my long-winded reply, thank you! Looking forward to any further thoughts you might have 🙂

[Petal22]

Hi powerchord007,

Im glad you have found our forums helpful.

Im sorry you are also going through this.

In regards to what you are describing I also experienced thoughts like this while I was in the grips of OCD….. I was stuck in a Vicious OCD cycle………. One of the things that keep me in this cycle was questioning my thoughts………… a lot of what if’s and seeking reassurance.

Have you ever seeked help for what you are currently going through?

You really can break free of what you are currently going through with the correct help.

Please ask me any questions ……… hold onto hope you can break free of this.