My brain makes up worst case senarios

[Missy1807]

Hello I'm very new to this page but it's getting to a point where it's getting to much. I suffer from quite bad anxiety and ocd most of the time I can keep it at bay and use the tools my psychologist gave me but some time I can't control it. My thoughts get so real and worst case senarios I can't stop over thinking. For eg I got into a verbal altercation over the weekend with someone and now my thoughts are I am going to be arrested for assult. Now I know it never happened but tue thoughts don't stop and I get so anxious and nervous and over think everything. These episodes usually only happen once a month but recently it has been weekly. Really stupid things cause it and I can't shake it untill the stressor goes away which could be days. Does anyone else have this type of thing or any ideas when it's at it's peak to make it stop? I'm exhausted

[geoff]

Hello Missy, these thoughts really do annoy us, but ask yourself, 'would I really do this' and the answer is probably 'no' and yelling at someone doesn't mean you will be arrested, so keep asking yourself 'would I carry this out' and with intrusive thoughts your answer is no, it's just you have to convince yourself that you couldn't do it, it's only a silly thought.

Best wishes.

Geoff.

[powerchord007]

Thanks for your response, Petal22. Yes, a while ago I acquired some strategies during regular appointments with a clinical psychologist. Sometimes, it just feels helpful to ground myself again by chatting on a forum, reading an article, or watching YouTube videos.

Hopefully you’re managing your anxiety/OCD ok at the moment? 🙂

[Guest_1643]

Hi Missy,

Welcome

I'm sorry Ur feeling stuck in anxiety

I can relate as j feel my anxiety is about trying to control, to avoid, and stop, undesirable things happening

When I look inside I realise it's really pain and shame, things I xant control, that I'm battling,and I try control my environment to feel safe.

I have met a lot of ppl with OCD, personally I think it's good u know u have it.

What treatments are u able to pursue?

Help is out there and u are not alone.

[daisybaby888]

I've always been an overthinker, I've always catastrophised and made up scenarios in my head. I'm now in a very serious relationship of only three months, but he truly feels like the love of my life- unfortunately my overthinking is ruining our connection and I resent myself for it. I'm really trying, I'm doing lots of mindfulness an affirmations and am seeing my psychologist more often and am back on anti anxiety meds, but it won't go away. This is partially due to my last relationship being very emotionally tumultuous bordering on abuse, ending with me getting cheated on with his girl "best friend". my partner doesn't like when I bring up my ex which is fair enough, but It's never in a way where I'm comparing them it's just to explain to him why I'm having a breakdown over him doing simple things like tying my shoes for me so he doesn't think he's done something wrong. I stopped bringing it up with him the last month, but his end of the bargain was that he would communicate more; if anything I'd say he's gotten worse. Because of my past relationship, no matter how much I work on myself I need that extra reassurance.

My boyfriend and I are both queer, most of his friends are queer women. He genuinely does respect women, he talks about how he understands women can be nice to him and it not mean anything more than a person being nice and I can tell he means it. He prefers being friends with women because they're more open to hearing about his queer experience. Even though he still has lots of straight cis male friends, they are less understanding of this. I like that he respects women and I like that he can be friends with them without it meaning anything; however, because of my last relationship I'm terrified he will leave me for one of them. I'm constantly comparing myself to them and convincing myself he's cheating on me with literally no reason to. I've told him about this and he's blocked all the ones that made me uncomfortable without me even asking. Worst part is two of them did end up liking him but he had no idea and it's just reinforced my intrusive thoughts. And now they're harassing me online. I block them but they make new accounts. He feels awful because he can't do anything about it, he's told them to leave me alone but they wont.He can't control the way I think, no matter what mindfulness tricks I do my thoughts won't go away. Can anyone give me any advice on how to handle myself in this situation because I don't want to lose my boyfriend.

[therising]

Hi daisybaby888

I've found an incredible imagination can be both your best friend or your worst enemy, depending on the circumstances. Of course, our imagination can be easily triggered by either the wonderfully amazing events we imagine happening in the future, for example, but it can also be easily triggered by the painful events of the past. A well managed imagination, I believe, can take a while to cultivate. Until then, it can at times be completely out of control, taking us along for the highly emotional ride.

An extremely sensitive person will feel what they imagine. This is one of many factors that makes a highly sensitive person so amazing. To be able to feel what you see in your mind is pretty amazing when you think about it. You could say the ultimate challenge when it comes to imagination (the home of imagery) comes down to being careful with what we see or choose to see or are persuaded to see.

I suppose, when it comes down to it, the question becomes 'Is what I'm seeing in my mind going to actually happen in the future or is it simply based on past experience?'. With my parents being the type to trigger my imagination through fear when growing up (fear of things going wrong or fear of the worst case scenario playing out or fear of major change or challenge), I've had to work hard on changing my 'story telling' style over the years. A fear based imagination is definitely a challenging story telling platform to be working with, that's for sure. It can stop us from feeling the freedom to fully enjoy life as it comes our way.

It's so upsetting, what your ex did and what he led you to imagine in future relationships beyond him. People don't give much consideration to the impact they have on the future for others, they simply serve themself in the moment. It's such a cruel experience for someone on the receiving end of that. Sounds like you've got a good guy who's helping you through that experience, trying to lead you to imagine a different life, one that you deserve after all your pain.

Internal dialogue is definitely powerful fuel for the imagination. Someone with an incredibly powerful imagination will see what they hear in their mind. Internal dialogue can lead the imagination down the most torturous of paths. What if your guy is different from the last? What if he's someone actually quite amazing, truly astonishing? Imagine that. What would that look like? What would 'amazing' look like?

[quirkywords]

Daisy sby

I could have written your first sentence,

I've always been an overthinker, I've always catastrophised and made up scenarios in my head..

That is me.

[jonjr]

Hi daisybaby888

a wonderful account by therising i qoute:
An extremely sensitive person will feel what they imagine. This is one of many factors that makes a highly sensitive person so amazing. To be able to feel what you see in your mind is pretty amazing when you think about it. You could say the ultimate challenge when it comes to imagination (the home of imagery) comes down to being careful with what we see or choose to see or are persuaded to see.

if you don't mind i can add to that from personal experiences. imagination is a weapon that you can use against yourself or to aid yourself. i find when things really get bad for me empathy and love, moments of joy can be used by my panic to feed my anxiety. as an example: my children's first steps, the feeling of them sleeping on your chest or the simple things like love or what the future holds for them which can be great or dread. I see it as this, future or old ,they are all emotions, feelings, love , empathy, sadness, dread , fear they all can betray you. anxiety, depression or panic or all can use emotions such as love or all of the above to get you where your vulnerable or hit the right spot. i have personally had some of my worst times based on images or thoughts based around the very things we consider , nice or loving from either old or new imagination using the future to come as a weapon. Its the cruelest way to get you but its also the things we should hold onto. imagine a life without those moments, i have had therapy to stop certain triggers and it works but how do you stop a trigger that is love or pure or yet to happen ,,, you can not its that simple no treatment in the world can remove those feelings and no one should ever try. because when they are not used against you they are the very foundation that ground us, the very thing that can hold us and keep us who we are. I fully agree with therising comments just added my bit, hope it makes sense

[geoff]

Hello Daisybaby, try and stop prophetically or foretelling events because it's only your imagination that's predicting something that is not going to happen.

We can go through life trying to wonder what's going to be in our future and many conclusions may come about, and for me there was never any thought that my wife would divorce me, we were so compatible, ever though we had some tough times, but yes I always wondered if she would run off with another person, and when I told her she told me not to be silly, but she also had the same thought about me doing the same.

These thoughts are protecting our marriage/relationship and keeps us on our toes and can be healthy in pleasing our connection with a person.

The more you worry the worse it gets and the more you want to not feel anxious the more anxious you will feel.

Bst wishes.

Geoff.