Mild Anxiety ?

[Mild1]

Hi All. I have been suffering with what I would call mild anxiety on and off since I lost my elderly mum late last year. At the same time my sister who suffers from mayor depression was admitted to a mental unit again. I feel like I have shouldered all the problems on my own and now I get worried/anxious at the littlest things and can’t seem to settle myself back down into my “normal” life again. I work casually and also look after my grandkids, 1 aged  2 1/2 years the other 4months old once a week. I have now started to get anxious doing this because the younger one cries continuously. I don’t want to tell anybody close to me how I’m feeling for fear they think I might be “crazy” like my sister. I suppose I’m posting in hope that someone has or is feeling a bit like me and how you cope. 

[smallwolf]

hello and welcome.

firstly, I do not think that you (or your sister) are crazy. It's normal to feel overwhelmed and anxious after experiencing loss and taking care of family members with mental health challenges. It's also common to feel like you're shouldering everything on your own.

Remember to be kind to yourself and give yourself credit for the things you're doing well, like taking care of your grandkids. I cam see from your post you care very much about them. You're a strong and capable person, and with time and support, you will get through this.

Lastly, if you feel there is nobody you can talk to then if not this space, the perhaps chatting with a therapist to help you through this time? And practice a little self-care - you deserve it with all you are doing.

[blondguy]

Hello Mild1 and welcome to the forums

I understand your anxiety as I have experienced similar symptoms and it can be a horrible place to be in.

Smallwolf has shared his own experience with you which is nice yet before considering therapy...

can I ask if you would be comfortable having a chat with your GP? A good GP is invaluable when we have this ongoing anxiety....A double appointment/and/or frequent visits can work wonders Mild1 🙂

Any questions are welcome Mild1.....Thankyou for being a part of the Beyond Blue Family too

I hope you have a really good weekend!

Im Paul....one of the volunteers on the forums

[therising]

Hi Mild1

My heart goes out to you in regard to the great challenges you've faced over the past several months as well as those you currently face, including the challenges that come with anxiety.

As a 52yo gal who has managed periods in depression since my late teens, last year was the first time I'd come to face anxiety. I couldn't help but wonder where it came from, how it had suddenly developed from out of nowhere (or so it seemed). It was my daughter who led me to understand, as she sat with me and pointed out the lead up to what I was experiencing. She led me to see a combo of new and old, big and small, ongoing and developing challenges without room to breathe. She also mentioned General Adaption Syndrome, more specifically the 3rd stage. In the 3rd stage, the exhaustion stage, tiredness, depression, anxiety and inability to cope with even the smallest of challenges can all be factors. I couldn't deny this was exactly how I felt and the 1st and 2nd stages helped explained the lead up.

I imagine you've faced a heck of a lot more than you might realise. In the lead up to losing your mum, perhaps there were a lot of stressors and you were on call for her whenever she needed you. I imagine you were on call for your sister too in some ways. With a casual job, I imagine you were on call for that too. Same goes for your child/children and grandchildren. Don't forget the call to clean the house, do the shopping, pay the bills on time etc. Always hyper vigilant, waiting for the next call. If you've been the reliable 'go to' person everyone goes to, this can become overwhelming. So many appointments (to roles) and still they keep coming while you're exhausted.

Late last year and with the support of my husband, I chose to dis-appoint myself from the role of 'secondary income earner'. It was a torturous decision, yet if I had to pick, managing on 1 income will be somewhat less stressful than managing the challenges with a part time job. Not suggesting time off work, it's more so about becoming conscious of certain roles we might need to dis-appoint our self from, in order to gain more time and breathing space. I was very lucky, my boss could relate to anxiety herself and was very compassionate. Her advice, 'Anxiety is a call for much needed change. You can't ignore that call'.