Migraines, Severe Anxiety and panic attacks. Looking for positive recovery stories

[Jezza53]

Gday guys, im a 30 year old male, life long sufferer of migraines and strong anxiety, which have become more and more debilitating the older i get. i had a very active life, and although i wasn't really well, i was able to actually go out and live my life. That was until my panic attacks caused my to lose my job, lose my ability to live on my own, to be away from home etc. I've been seeing therapists, psychologists and psychiatrists for the past year, and have tried 4 different medications, for the correct amount of time, all have which have either not worked or have made me much, much worse. my problem is i can handle anxiety, but when it turns to panic and im away from home, no amount of CBT or deep breathing or positive thinking can help, and i have to either go do things with people or suffer extreme torment until im able to get home and wait out the attack. im still trying new doctors and medications and therapy avenues, but i live in a rural area and cant physically travel to where the good help is without completely losing my mind due to panic.

I do my best to stay positive, but to do so while suffering migraines, constant anxiety and sporadic debilitating panic attacks that have quite literally ruined my life, its very, very hard.

im looking for people who have suffered through similar comorbid conditions, as the only thing thats worse than going through this, is going through it alone.

for anyone wanting to suggest change of diet, exercise, bloodworks, mri's etc, i have tried no sugar for months, no difference, no caffeine for two weeks, no difference, extensive mri on head neck and back, all clear, bloodworks, all clear, exercise generally makes no difference or makes me feel worse with headaches. i used to train for triathlons and being able to run 6km, ride 30km and swim 1km did nothing to quell the strong anxiety and flighty panic response to emotions.

i have breakthroughs, where im able to work on myself with healthcare professionals, start feeling good, going out on my own driving etc and like, feeling that im getting my life back, but its like when i get used to one form of panic, randomly, for no discernible reason, i will suffer a new form of panic that i dont know how to deal with, that postive habits and thought patterns cant touch. ive had about 7 such relapses in the last year, and now my only option is to cycle through medications at the risk of them hurting me again. cheers for any help, much appreciated.

[jaz28]

Hi there Jezza,

I am sorry to hear you are going through this. I understand how stressful and debilitating it is to experience anxiety attacks in public. I know it is easier to say 'deep breaths' than it is to do, right?

I am young myself and have suffered health issues myself recently, and have even been hospitalised because of them. I do not suffer regular migraines, but I know how painful they can be - I'm sorry. Experiencing problems with your physical health and mental health is a struggle, and they do go hand in hand. I just wanted to let you know that you seem to be doing your best to cope and try to get the help you need, and that is all you can do. Good work!

I am glad you are trying to stay positive, that's all we can do when we experience these dreadful feelings. It seems you have tried to seek help, and my only advice would be to keep trying. Keep pushing forward. These days you must advocate for your health and mental health, I cannot stress that enough. The only person that is impacted is YOU! Look after you. You are important! Keep having those breakthroughs, keep pushing forward, and hopefully one day that breakthrough will last. Never give up! When my physical health was bringing me down, I refused to give up and now I am 100% healthy.

If you are concerned about being alone, would a support group be something you would be interested in/able to join in your area? This could help you feel less alone. Because you are not alone, so many of us go through similar things as you and finding those around you could be a massive help if you feel up to it. Or since you live rurally, could an online support group help? Or telehealth appointments?

Keep your head up.

Jaz.

[Sophie_M]

Hi there Jezza53,
We’re really sorry to hear what you’re going through. That must be incredibly difficult and frustrating, especially when it feels like you’re having breakthroughs but then coming back around to a really difficult point. You’re right, there’s nothing worse than going through it alone, and just sharing with this community can help you to have a voice and find people going through similar difficulties.

Jas28 makes a really good point about how support groups can be helpful. Another potentially helpful option would be to call our Mental Wellbeing Support Service on 1300 22 4636 for advice and strategies to help you manage your wellbeing and mental health during this time.
Kind regards,
Sophie M
 

[Jezza53]

Cheers guys, thanks for the positive words. Yes there are very limited mental health services in my area, so 90 percent of things i do is done through telehealth with the mental health plan, the only good thing to come out of covid haha! i have recently found good support to get me help get me through this, and am taking baby steps to try and make my way to the city to go in, as an in patient, and really try and get to the bottom of how to get on top of this.

[Here2Talk]

Hi Jezza,

Sorry to hear of your plight. For some people anxiety and physical pain go hand in hand - e.g., aches, pains... sometimes migraines... It has been like this for most of your life yeah? You sure have tried a lot recently...

I know how you feel living in a rural area - trying to see a doctor or mental health professional is tedious and the selection is very limited, and skills less than perhaps better regions...

I have always had bad anxiety but recently have started developing... weird sort of physical flutterings in the chest. Many specialised psychologists are not fully covered by Medicare so it's looking like atm saving up a quarter of a thousand dollars for each appointment and getting something like half of it back....

[Gabs_]

Hi Jezza53,

Sorry to hear what you are going through. I've been through something similar and I know how utterly rubbish it can be/feel.

Is it time to consider going to an in-patient facility? I was at a very similar point earlier this year where my anxiety (that usually fuelled me and I could keep going off the adrenaline) turned into something completely different and panic overtook my life. I couldn't read, write, watch tv, listen to music, leave the house, be around people, be around noises.... I went on extended leave from work (because the idea of opening my emails made me feel like I was drowning and my head was going to explode) and in the end, I had to check myself into a private psychiatric hospital.

The first week I couldn't even leave my room, I was too scared to open the door or even make myself a cup of tea, but slowly, having that intensive period of being in hospital and solely focussed on me and my mental health made such a big difference. It saved my life. Don't get me wrong, I'm not "healed" and I still have bad days, but the month in hospital just gave me the support and tools to focus on getting to the root causes of the panic.

Is that something you could talk to your GP, Psychologist and Psychiatrist about?

[Jezza53]

Yea mate ive suffered headaches and anxiety since i was a baby. it wasnt until i was like 22 that i realized that this isnt normal for most people. I was always able to push past both these things, my motto used to be when you feel like shit, go harder. that worked really well for a decade. right up until it didnt anymore hahaha.

yea my psychiatrist and psychologist telehealth sessions usually cost any where between 100 and 200 dollars depending on the service, the company they work for and the duration of the session. And you're right i average about half that back with medicare.

as for your physical flutterings, of course see your gp, but sounds like part and parcel of being anxious. even when my mind isn't anxious or panicky and i'm feeling alright, i suffer symptoms like labored breathing and tightness in the chest, numb/tingling extremities, hands an limbs clenching, forgetting to breathe, blurry vision like i'm looking through a mirage, dizziness, intrusive thoughts and involuntary obsessiveness over them, severe pain over my heart that extends up into my jaw and into my left arm, but i digress. i've been checked for all these things and get the same old "you're above average health for your age, its probably anxiety spiel" hahaha. even just writing this gives me heart palpitations, slight dizziness and involuntary clenched hands.

[Jezza53]

Man that sounds really frickin tough. Im sorry you had to go through that, i feel for you. But yea mate all of the people i see have suggested going to be an in patient. At first i was extremely hesitant after being prescribed medications that hurt me rather than helped me, but with time i have come to learn that my doctors are good people, they are well meaning, its just that most people don't know sweet FA about the intricacies of the huge and varied nature of chronic mental illness. I have since developed a good relationship with a few doctors who i have come to trust, we learn off each other, and i have learnt myself that for the one percenters like myself who are both sensitive to medications and have rare/unique comorbidities, its the nature of the game that if i want to get better, i have to take the good with the bad, and be prepared to suffer the bad medications to find good ones.

My particular problem is that my fear is based around being any distance away from home or my safe place. i have to travel 200 kms to somewhere that has an inpatient facility, and i currently struggle being 15km from home. its less about being calm and implementing thinking strategies, so much as my fear is ingrained in my subconscious, and still comes through and wrecks me even if i have a good day, forget there's anything wrong with me, it just happens, i have no more control over it than i do the weather.

I want to do this now, im ok with being an in patient, ive accepted this is going to go a long way to help me, but currently i wouldn't be able to make that distance, even if someone drove me, with out being anesthetized. the drugs i was prescribed, albeit low doses, don't calm the mind enough to overcome the strength of the anxiety and panic. and also i hate the way they make me feel. wild how some people love them, goes to show everyone really is different!

im currently trialing medications to help me with this, but if i get any worse, ive spoken to my doctor and we'll have to sort out something extreme like being strongly sedated and going in an ambulance whilst being monitored the whole way there, but they made it clear that is a last resort.

[Gabs_]

Gosh, you poor thing. I feel for you. The joys of bloody anxiety.

Have you spoken to your team about considering TMS? It could be another option. You can do it in-patient and out-patient, but that would still require you traveling. Could you do a pro's and con's list of going in-patient that would assist as a visual item to look at, so when you are more than the 15km+ from home, you could look at that list to see how much the pro's outweigh the cons of being that distance away? That might help temper the anxiety or give you something to focus on when the feeling becomes too overwhelming.

I'm glad you've got a good team around you. It's amazing how a good health team around you can make such a difference. And if they are happy to facilitate what you need and advocate for you, it goes a long way.

I hear you about the meds. I tried so long to not take them, but I've come to a point where I've accepted that I need them whist I keep working through all this stuff. Took me a bit to find the right ones for me too. Some I was getting such bad bruxism and had the shakes. It was awful.

When I was suffering severe panic attacks in hospital, they gave me quetiapine, which is something you could speak to your GP about (if you were to travel down to hospital).

I hope you and your team can figure out a plan. Sending you a big hug.

G x

[Guest9337]

Hi Jezza53, I’ve just finished reading over this thread and these are my notes and initial thoughts...
30 yrs male. Migraines anxiety more debilitating over time
active life, triathlons,
panic attacks away from safe places.
4 meds not much relief.
Handle anxiety but not panic.
Need help in moments of panic.
CBT. Medical journey continues. In rural area.
Already tried, diet, exercise, bloodworks, mri, no sugar no caffeine
clear head neck back blood
7 relapsed panic attacks from new non discernible reasons
grateful for help
motto, when u feel like s—t, go harder, don’t work no more.
Expensive telehealth.
Ok with being in patient.
***** Does those notes look correct in every detail?
Well my friend I love that you’re into Triathlons, I’ve done a couple of those and have several mates who enjoy them too. One was a copper who died some time ago but he was almost good enough for the Hawaii Ironman, the one thru the lava fields, he trained for it but wasn’t quite good enough.
I’ve had some experiences with panic attacks, sometimes for me nowhere is safe.
Meds change over the decades, meh, some good some bad, comes n goes.
Which CBT methods do you use? I use 54321 technique or similar, and grounding to grass/feet or grounding to my led lenser p7 torch taught to me by 1800respect counsellor.
Really great news about having clear head, neck and back for you, mine are all mostly naffed, but I’m old fart at 48.
Really sux those new triggers for panic appearing, man that’s a toughy to parse.
Gratitude for help and being an in patient is going to help you big time, spread the load man!
And that brings me to a coupla suggestions for a new motto.
When u feel like s—t, go gentler. Or something in your own terms that means the same.
Lower your pain threshold to give yourself a new optimality that isn’t pushed so “harder”.
There are plenty of graves of highly motivated people on Mount Everest, so maybe just calm down a bit. Is a joke I discovered on the topic!

So carry less, go easier, build an epic team, enjoy rest and recovery, aim for peace and comfort.

And to save u a coupla hundred dollars I can walk you few a cycles about your anxiety to panic attack spectrum.
How many tipping points do you have?
Like, oh I’m feeling unsafe inside my chest, but really I am safe, and I’m only 5/10/15 km from home?
Stuff like that, seek to more define your thresholds so you can anticipate anxieties rate of increase to panic attack and thus implement ways to calm down.