<--------- Backspacer

[vintage_kar]

Firstly hi,

I've done a LOT of typing and backspacing. Backspacing. Backspacing.

I avoid at all costs actually going to the doctor for help. In the past I have been told, 'don't drink' or 'it's situational'. I'd like to have 'situational' struck off the vocabulary list for mental health speak. I know my situation is causing me anxiety, and yes my situation is crap. The thing is that I don't control the situation! Why is it ok that I suffer day in day out with constant anxiety and disgusting thoughts about being better off dead? Surely this can't be just situational? People seem to be able to sum up in a few words how I should go about dealing with my feelings. I know the thoughts are bad and abnormal. I just don't see any light.

~k

[white knight]

Hi K,

Welcome.   If I look over my 58 years of life and ask myself how much of my problems were situational I'd have to give it a healthy 30%.  So for me its a big chunk of my issues.  The rest would be 50% for having a disfunctional household when you with a BPD mother (and my mental health issues many of which arose from that) and 20% bad luck.

So what did I do to lessen the impact of my situations?  Well I left my first wife of 11 years and then my defacto wife of 10 years. I had to shape my life to make the tough decisions to get to where I wanted to be. In the end it worked out with a loving and supportive wife I should have met in the first place.

Such happiness came about through situational change. It is significant.  And some people (not necessarily yourself) remain in relationships far too long for various reasons- fear is the main one, children, etc It is their call, they must make that decision.  But I know some of my friends that are unhappy for many years but they hang on and on. I dont agree with that way.

Control.  We all need a certain control in our lives, You say you have no control. You havent spelt out your situation so I cant judge that.  But without control you will be anxious and frustrated. 

[vintage_kar]

Thanks for your reply white knight.

Anxious and frustrated. You nailed how my situation makes me feel. 

😕 I really want to share....this isn't as easy as I thought!

I left my partner a year or so ago. I'm doing things to change my life. Great things. I just have to shut out the anxiety and stupid thoughts to get them done. It is a daily struggle and I am just so exhausted.

~k

[Neil_1]

Hi there vintage ka (VK?)

Welcome to Beyond Blue and thank you for providing your post - it can be a difficult thing to do - to come here and provide a post, so "well done" to you.

Now that I’ve seen White Knight reply to you, that makes “two” people who have heard of things being ‘situational’ – because this is the first time I’ve come across that phrase or word – in relation to mental health issues.  But now you spell it out, well, I’d almost say that where-ever you are, you’re in a situation – be it good, bad or indifferent.  You have a work situation, you have a home situation, etc.

When you mention ‘people’ sum up things – are you referring to psyche’s that you’ve had appointments with or perhaps friends – I hope that it’s just your friends – I would hope that psyches have a better arsenal than speaking on those terms.

Are you seeing a GP at all and from that have they got you on any medications – for anxiety/depression?   And have you had any further professional assistance?  Counselling with psyches, etc?

Again, thanx for posting and would be great to hear back from you.

Neil