Lost

[HappyWanderer]

Hi. I don't really know how to start... I live every day pretty normal in front of everyone, but inside things feel... difficult. I don't know why. I think maybe at least some of it is anxiety, but I'm not really sure if that's an accurate explanation. I wonder about speaking to someone, but I don't know what I would tell them. I'm getting tired of feeling 'not right' so often & wonder if there is a way to feel better. I'm kind of worried if there was a 'way', what that process might look like too...

[blondguy]

Hi HappyWanderer

Welcome and you have started well...especially having the courage to post

If you wish to elaborate on your feelings or your anxiety levels we can provide more helpful support 🙂

The forums are a safe and non judgmental place for you to post too HappyWanderer

Note....I used to have anxiety and it can be a horrible place to be in...

we are listening

my kind thoughts

Paul

[Hails_89]

Hey happy wanderer,

how are you feeling about posting how you’re feeling in a forum, better at all?

[geoff]

Hello HappyWanderer, and a warm welcome to the forums.

Unfortunately, it can be possible that a person does look fine on the outside, but deep down they are suffering from MI, only pretending to put on a brave face.

There is a way for you to get the help you need and if you would like to get back to us that would be great.

We know it's not going to be easy, but if I could mention that most of us have been through our own type of depression and only want to help you.

Take care.

Geoff.

[HappyWanderer]

Hello, thank you for your message. I think I really appriciate having this space where I can start anonymously...

[HappyWanderer]

Hello, thank you for your message. I guess there is so much in my mind I don't know what to pick out... but here are some examples... I'm often afraid to speak up in conversations and have trouble getting my words out, I feel like I don't explain myself well and get easily misunderstood which makes me feel embarrassed and then I reget saying anything at all. Sometimes after speaking, especially at work, I feel like I can't breathe in properly and I feel dizzy and tight... When I have to share work that I've produced I am so scared that I've made a mistake and spend so much time looking over and over and over at it. Even once I've shared it I go back and check and check because I'm worried something will be wrong with it... I hate driving and have spent years making up excuses why I can't make it to places or to see friends when really it's because I'm too scared to drive myself to somewhere a bit unfamiliar... Then this year has been crazy (for everyone I guess) and it's added to all my normal worries. I went to the shops recently for the first time in quite a while and it was so stressful I feel like I can't go back. (Online deliveries have been so helpful!). Then I have this whole other layer of worries about really big things like climate change & the environment... I have a really good life. I have great health, a wonderful family, a lovely home, an excellent job and workplace... but every day is so exhausting to navigate. I feel tight?... and heavy?... and I increasingly feel like I just want to tuck myself away and hide at home. I think I would if I didn't feel so accountable to my workplace and other people - I worry about letting them down!